this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2024
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[–] Ranvier@sopuli.xyz 212 points 3 months ago (13 children)

"Google, nobody called from Google. One of the things like doing a show like yours, your show, you know, you see it on Fox, but when you really see it is all over the place, they take clips of your show that you're doing right now with me and if I do a good job, they're gonna vote for me, they're gonna vote for me because it's not just on Fox, it's on Fox is a smaller part of it. You're on all over this, those little beautiful cell phones you're on, you're all over the place. You have a product, you have a great product. You have a great brand. So you have to get out, you have to get out, you have to do things like your show and other shows and Google has been very bad. They've been very irresponsible and I have a feeling that Google is gonna be close to shut down"

Can anyone help? I don't have a senile narcissist to English translator!

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 109 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'll take a stab at it.

I do these shows and everyone wants to see it. It goes viral and everyone looks it up on Google to watch on their phones. But Google is doing something to block it, so if I win I'm going to shut them down.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ok, it's scary how easily you seemed to have done that. I kept getting caught up in the beautiful devices and couldn't figure it out.

Hats off to you, friend.

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

For donny you have to analyze like non native speaker or child. Who, what, where, when, and why. Also everything is either positive/negative for him.

He mentions Google, it's bad.

Him doing interviews on shows, good, the best.

Fox, good show

people on phones; good tech

trying to watch him, good. obvious see above

Google close down; veiled threat. Constantly does this, mob talk. "It would be a shame if something happened to your establishment." He also did it when he called Georgia secretary of state to find him more votes. He brought up his daughter, beautiful daughter. You want to do the right thing for her.

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[–] Blackout@kbin.run 56 points 3 months ago (1 children)

All I could find was a jabba the hutt translator:

"Google, nobody called tuta google. Wompa of doe things like doing do show like yours, do show, u know, u stuka it on fox, but whao u really stuka it sa all over doe pa, they take clips of do show da u're doing right ateema gee je um if mee do do good job, they're gonna vote che je, they're gonna vote che je because soong nopa just on fox, soong on fox sa do smaller part of it. U're on all over this, those little beautiful cell phones u're on, u're all over doe pa. U have do product, u have do grancha product. U have do grancha brand. So u have tah pushee, u have tah pushee, u have tah do things like do show um other shows um google has been ree goola. They've been ree irresponsible um mee have do feeling da google sa gonna be close tah shut down"

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago

Wow, I don't know what it is, but that actually made it a bit easier.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago

Google isn’t kissing my ass and making me look good by constantly placing only the good things about me at the top of search results and videos.

So Google sucks and I’m going to shut them down.

[–] ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.com 26 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

"I want all the attention. I want everyone to have to look at me all the time on their phones. Give me that attention. Gimme! Gimme! Attention is like a McDonald's burger with fries. I want all the attention. Google, make that happen, make people watch me on their phones. Or I'm going to shut you down."

[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago

I know he's always been prone to kind of incoherent rambling, and quotes straight from his rallies are usually stream-of-consciousness walls of text like this. But it really seems like it's getting worse over time. Not sure if it's senility or drug addiction or stress or whatever else, but Trump really seems to be unraveling.

[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Even ChatGPT is confused

The text seems to convey a few disjointed points:

  1. No Call from Google: It starts by mentioning that no one called from Google, but this point is unclear and not elaborated on.

  2. Importance of Media Exposure: The speaker emphasizes that doing shows like the one being discussed is important because these shows are widely seen, not just on Fox but everywhere through clips shared on cell phones and other platforms.

  3. Effect on Voting: The speaker believes that a good performance on the show will positively influence people to vote for them.

  4. Reach of the Show: The speaker highlights that the show is not limited to Fox but is widely distributed and accessible, thus amplifying its impact.

  5. Praise for the Show: The speaker compliments the show's product and brand, suggesting it has great reach and quality.

  6. Need for Exposure: There's an emphasis on the need to be active and appear on various shows to maximize exposure.

  7. Criticism of Google: The speaker criticizes Google for being irresponsible and suggests that the company might be close to shutting down, although this point is vague and unsubstantiated.

Overall, the rant is an unfocused mix of praising media exposure, expressing a belief in the power of TV appearances to influence voters, and criticizing Google.

To make things worse, I also asked it to Yodaify it

Called from Google, nobody did. Doing a show like yours, yes, on Fox you see it. But everywhere, really, it is. Clips of your show they take, with me right now, doing it you are. Do a good job, I must, for vote for me, they will. On Fox alone, it is not, smaller part Fox is. All over this, you are. On those little beautiful cell phones, you are. A great product, you have. A great brand, you have. Out you must get, out you must get. Things like your show, and other shows, do you must. Very bad Google has been, very irresponsible. Close to shutting down, Google is, a feeling I have.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 13 points 3 months ago

LOL at "a few disjointed points". Whatever else you might say about ChatGPT, its output is extraordinarily polite. Saying "a few disjointed points" is practically the equivalent of "what the fuck is this drivel you fed me?"

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[–] tortina_original@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Does he really speak like that? 😳

[–] Coelacanth@feddit.nu 40 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Is this your first exposure to Trump?

[–] tortina_original@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Not in the news. But I am not American, I don't watch what Trump has to say (or rather, I barely watch news for years).

Years ago I used to hear him talk while he was president and it was really cringe but this transcript from the first reply just seems a bit surreal. Insane, rather.

Edit: I was curious enough to go visit the article URL and take a look at the video but there doesn't seem to be a video of the Fox clip they write about (or ublock/etc hide it). Maybe it's for the best... 😁

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 months ago

It's for the best. Listening to him makes you lose iq points. If he talks about anything you know about it is also likely to make you angry.

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[–] Ranvier@sopuli.xyz 28 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Yes this is the direct quote the article refers to. He rambles nonsense, often self contradicting, and then people in the media try to fashion it into coherent points for him, leading to a fake impression of competency, misleading the public and voters. This is the man who had to have his national security briefings summarized into a few brief bullet points with pictures, and he was apparently still unable to read them.

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[–] SteveFromMySpace@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you're a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it's true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that's why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we're a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it's not as important as these lives are — nuclear is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it's four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven't figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it's gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible."

From snopes (which has more info on it for the curious)

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 11 points 3 months ago

Old man yells at cloud for not paying protection money.

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[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 145 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Ahh, he's rattling the CEOs who haven’t paid fealty yet.

What is Racketeering, again?

[–] dhork@lemmy.world 52 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Haven't you been paying attention? The SCOTUS says bribes are legal if they are called "gratuities". No wonder Trump wants to exempt tips from taxes, it's how he intends to get paid by his main clients, Russia and Saudi Arabia.

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[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 86 points 3 months ago (7 children)

you can almost smell the onion on his belt

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago

Gimme 5 bees for a quarter!

[–] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 3 months ago

“Old man yells at cloud” indeed

[–] essell@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

Well, it is the style at this time. At least for a certain kind of person

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[–] AShadyRaven@lemmy.zip 82 points 3 months ago (2 children)

GOOGLE IS A TRILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION

Trump is so fucking stupid he doesnt even know how his party is supposed to work.

There are no leftist corporations.

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 55 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (7 children)

If anything, Google helps the right with their YouTube algorithm that has to be one of the fastest to right-wing radicalization available. You can open up a recipe video on YouTube and a couple of videos later they'll have you on liberals are making the frogs gay style content.

[–] AShadyRaven@lemmy.zip 14 points 3 months ago

What if i told you that any group, organization or business that places profits and advertising revenue above objective truth and a quality product is, by default, always going to be right-wing aligned?

[–] Ragnarok314159@sopuli.xyz 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It is pretty stupid. My YouTube searches are DIY home repair, how to play guitar, and fountain pen calligraphy ink/font.

“How about some Jordan Peterson!”

[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It's the DIY stuff. You're like a hairsbreadth away from homesteading, survivalist stuff, then prepper stuff, aaaand finally nutjob stuff.

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[–] HonorableScythe@lemm.ee 10 points 3 months ago

That's the thing. He doesn't care about how his party is supposed to work, or what the party line is. His political stances are entirely based on his feelings and whims. Whoever has most recently slighted or inconvenienced him is enemy number one, only to be replaced tomorrow when some other matter irks him.

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 72 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Google, like the other big tech companies, absolutely need to be broken up with antitrust. Not destroyed, just broken up to force the resulting smaller companies to be more competitive instead of relying on their size and market domination to exploit everyone from their consumers to their employees. Everyone would benefit from that including investors who would see more growth.

But Trump doesn't say that because their monopolistic position allows them to pull increasingly anticonsumer practices. He just wants to raze it to the ground because they don't block search results that hurt his endlessly fragile ego.

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[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 53 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

LOL

"stop showing results that don't say i'm awesome!!!"

i almost said "what a goddamn child," but that's way too insulting to actual children. at least children have a legit excuse for acting like themselves

[–] dhork@lemmy.world 36 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He even admits it....

"When I look at myself in the first grade and I look at myself now, I’m basically the same. The temperament is not that different."

https://theweek.com/speedreads/575962/donald-trump-tells-biographer-hes-same-now-first-grade

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[–] CrabAndBroom@lemmy.ml 46 points 3 months ago (1 children)

In the rant, slammed by the Harris campaign as “unintelligible,”

Okay, that part got me.

[–] blattrules@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

They must have just needed to quote someone as saying it because it would seem like editorializing if they described it as “unintelligible,” even though it was.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago

Shhhh no one stop him let him keep talking 🍿

[–] Gingerlegs@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Running the campaign like a straight up mobster now

[–] Anise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 3 months ago
[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago (7 children)

How would that even work?

Destroy the Google HQ, data centers, and assassinate it's leadership?

I mean he could maybe direct a Republican Congress to legislatively fine and tax Alphabet into the ground, but there are definitely a large number of Congress that have money in Alphabet.

He can't even come up with coherent rants, how could he come up with a way to fight someone as big as Alphabet.

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[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Senior leadership will still line up and vote for this guy because tech bros suck.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Tech bros are, on the whole, truly disgusting people. For example, tech bros are almost entirely responsible for the continued fiscal solvency of San Francisco. With the rise of work from home, San Francisco threatens to be plunged into a financial pit that in the worst case would cause a Detroit-style collapse. And yet the overwhelming feeling among locals is "eh, worth it to get rid of the tech bros".

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[–] Jackcooper@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Okay now can trump and Kamala try to one up each other on how hard they'll dismantle Ticketmaster?

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[–] InternetUser2012 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Lol, Dementia Don the racist rapist with 34 felonies want's to start a fight with GOOGLE!?!?!?! He needs to have his mental capacity tested. This is a whole new level of stupid. I hope he triples down on it and they fucking bury him.

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[–] morphballganon@lemmynsfw.com 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Sounds like a distraction.

Next week we'll discover some liberty of ours has been revoked by SCOTUS.

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[–] 800XL@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Lol, this fuckin' guy. I swear. It must be so exhausting to be him. When god shows itself to be real and Trump actually dies, they're gonna do an autopsy an him and they're gonna cut open his skull to find a perfectly smooth lump resembling a brain. When they dissect it, the only thing in there is going to be Rube Goldberg-esqe machine that farts.

[–] JonEFive@midwest.social 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Don't underestimate him. He may sound like an idiot to us, but we aren't his target audience. He doesn't care what we think of him. He knows what his cult wants to hear and he's plenty happy to chum the water to get them in a frenzy.

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[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I give it less than a week before Google donates a sizeable amount to one of his PACs and Donnie does a complete 180 on this.

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[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Even a broken clock can be right twice a day, but for all the wrong reasons.

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Stop making me like Google, Donald.

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