If any kids want to learn how to smoke cigars, please message me.
But, seriously, damn, that's some pressure. I hope I can pass on something good.
this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse
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I'm 31 and have mostly seen the inside of my bedroom tbh... and lots of weird shit on the computer
Congrats on becoming an elder. Go teach them what you know.
But I don’t know anything 
And others know even less than you. This is the way of the world and the context in which we must continually mold it!
”context” and “in which” in the same sentence
GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! 
I will teach the children how to torrent
yes, i will teach the young ones how to become a pathetic sexless loser, how to be dead broke unemployed and living with your parents as a 'middle aged' adult, and how to obsess over niche sci fi military topics to the point where they cannot have a normal conversation with literally any person.
Don’t say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend!
Lol way to make some of us feel fuxking old
go back to watching pokemon cards moving cash on antique roadshow
... does that actually happen?
oh shit maybe I should hit up the road show with my old binders to see if I'll be allowed to retire at some point
See, I'm one of those folks who just keep moving the goalposts of what young means to include them too.
I keep trying to teach them things but they keep telling me I have L rizz and negative aura and that I need to become a skibbity sigma rizzler.
How can you teach if you're not first willing to learn?
I watched all the videos about a head coming out of a toilet and I still don't get it.
This shit is more confusing than Hegel!
Jokes aside, I feel that the hexbear mode of communication - confident belief and fearless defense of your principles, combined with slightly unhinged and uncompromising shitposting - is pretty close to what the kids find cool. It's always been that, really. Trying to baby speak to them is a lost cause. Preaching at them even more so.
On god, no cap fr fr
This is also baby speak, coming from us olds
We're closer to the end of humanity than we are to the invention of flight
Are these the things I should be teaching or too doomer for the zoomers? 🤔
Me, 31, letting the "more than" in the title restore my youthfulness 😌
The median age in the United States is 38, which is the highest it's ever been. That makes some of us the most middle-aged people of all time.
but the things they need to know are not the things i know
i guess i could start learning how to distill water from human beings and build deep-earth bunkers
Wow thanks for the existential anxiety
tag yourself but it's just an actuarial table
Does that mean I'm half way done?
Tomorrow is not promised!
Preemptive apologies to the next generation.
Guess I should get planning my mid life crisis.
