this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Rolling hills—western Wisconsin. A lonesome road. A cobalt bus, wandering through the quiet expanse. Inside, two aged men anchor themselves to opposite ends of an empty aisle.

Witness Mr. Dick Cheney, former vice president—architect of war. He reclines on the frontmost-right bench, savoring a rare moment of quiet—a peace denied to the countless victims of his ambition and greed. For Mr. Cheney, this journey is nothing more than a temporary detour—a trivial rebrand, a welcoming audience, a new color of tie to mix with his suits across the month.

In the rear of the bus, we find Mr. Bernie Sanders—senator, figurehead, reformist. He is hunched in the back-left corner, his gaze locked beyond the window of the emergency exit—bolted shut. His pupils trace the receding line of asphalt, the tires feeding it to the meadows. There is a weight in his posture, as his very being is tugged towards quiet resignation—a closing whimper into the end. For somewhere, deep within his thoughts, a terrible truth lingers—this is a one-way trip.

Between them, tossed askew against a bench, stands a lime-green placard—large enough for two. The stretched Arial typography remains legible, yet blurs faintly into the backdrop, as to retreat from clarity—an unalloyed declaration: brat fall

A scene that, just eight years ago, would have been unthinkable to some. But this bus has long since departed a commendable politic. Its destination? The Twilight Zone.

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[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

hahaha 11/10, no notes. This is why I keep coming back. We may be all headed towards hell in a hand basket, but I'll die with a jokerfied grin on my face. matt-joker

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I'm gonna leave such a wild environmental storytelling corpse that alien civilizations will think I was some kind of ritual sacrifice

[–] anarcho_blinkenist@hexbear.net 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

i didn't expect there to be a body to this post, and thought the joke was "Picture, if you will" and it was just a picture of Rod Serling.

I liked that post, and love this one. so I got two good posts in one. it's a good day.

[–] Meh@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago

I have also enjoyed your hypothetical

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

That's a pretty good gag

[–] btfod@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

I was getting ready for a When Doves Cry reference

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Mr. Bernie Sanders... For somewhere, deep within his thoughts, a terrible truth lingers—this is a one-way trip.

Inshallah.

---

brat fall

Aka brautumn - WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? : charlixcx

[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

A Reddit link was detected in your comment. Here are links to the same location on alternative frontends that protect your privacy.

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

Bernie's gotta be wondering if he died and went to the bad place.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

This is the final episode of the rerun the scifi channel plays on new years

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago
[–] hypercracker@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago
[–] thethirdgracchi@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I really hate that somehow Charli XCX is an "important" part of this election. I love her music but god damn is it strange to see fucking Amy Klobuchar talking about brat autumn. It's like now all of her music, for reasons entirely outside her control, are tainted with this awful slime. Kamala took Track 10 from me and I'll never forgive her.

[–] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Well, no, it all started when Charli said Kamala is Brat amidst an ongoing genocide. She is a rich liberal and her silence on the whole thing beyond that is very telling (she would rather make money - MORE money - than say something controversial).

I agree that she's a talented musician and her production is great, but come on...

[–] thethirdgracchi@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

Nah I'm talking about before, where people made Kamala brat edits. Charli endorsing is later, much later. Agreed on that though, Charli is alas just a liberal.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

I'm glad Mr. Sanders understands that getting on a bus is like voting. You absolutely need to get on the bus that's doing a little less genocide. If you get turned around, you can always tell which bus that is because it's the one with Dick Cheney on it.

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

GOOD post 👁️👄👁️

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

I hope the Hodag gets them

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

Aside from pointing out the type of font, which would be really weird to hear in the early 60s, that's a damn good Serling.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

The muse was upon you definitely with this one LMAO i-cant

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

Instant classic.

[–] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

This is the content I go to Hexbear for.

[–] theother2020@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

frontmost-right bench

hunched in the back-left corner

New political compass dropped.

[–] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

Unbelievably good post.