this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024
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And I'm talking about natural causes. Like him just keeling over from being the big moist macburger lover he is

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[–] TomBombadil@hexbear.net 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I know exactly what would happen. I'd laugh really hard

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

Yeah, I'd probably give my self a hernia.

[–] Sulvor@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

None of his followers would believe it was natural causes and he would be worshipped as a martyr as people took to the streets to commit hate crimes in his name.

lisan-al-gaib

[–] SadArtemis@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

On one hand agreed, on the other hand Anglos are just looking for any excuse to commit hate crimes imo. If it destabilizes the Great Satan I say fingers crossed- hopefully the energies can be focused on cracKKKer and bourgeois infighting instead. Balkanize balkanize balkanize timmy-pray

[–] Sulvor@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yeah the Dune metaphor works pretty well for Trump for a few reasons. Trump and the GOP have manipulated white supremacy and adjacent forces in America to suit their ends. Trump has been touted as a prophet and messiah among the Evangelicals and neo-Nazis who want him to go way more mask-off fascist and racist than he was in the beginning, and he keeps feeding into it to keep their support.

Paul is seen as a messiah among the Fremen and he uses that position to meet his own desire for revenge. However, between the first and second books, the Fremen go beyond what he needed them for and basically genocide an entire galaxy in their religious zeal.

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It would be fantastic if he died on the podium mid-speech for the memes n gifs. I think a stroke would be funniest since we wouldn't really be able to tell

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I think a stroke would be funniest

Kamala leftist shark-sharka-shark-shark-shark Marxist shark-shark-shark-shark-sharka-shark baby shark [Dies]

[–] SevenSkalls@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Crowd erupts into cheers thinking it's part of his speech

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

A Redd Foxx moment. He was a standup comedian and he had the role as the father on the 1970s sitcom Sanford and Son. One of his gags was to pretend he was having a heart attack.

Redd Foxx

Death

Foxx did his scripted part of the scene (walking across the back of a chair) while being livid. However, he fell to the floor immediately after doing so. Reese said that nobody initially suspected anything was wrong. Foxx, after all, was famous for having Fred Sanford fake heart attacks on Sanford and Son and was particularly skilled at pratfalls. Reese went to the floor when Foxx did not immediately rise and heard him say "get my wife" twice. Reese called for paramedics.

According to Joshua Rich at Entertainment Weekly: "It was an end so ironic that for a brief moment castmates figured Foxx–whose 1970s TV character often faked coronaries–was kidding when he grabbed a chair and fell to the floor."

[–] Fishroot@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Vance beats kamala in the election

[–] ped_xing@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That sliver of never-Trumpers would do it at this point and Trumpers will show up just to fill in the bubble next to his name one last time. Democrats blame Kamala's dad and purge everyone with based relatives. pete in shambles.

[–] MayoPete@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

I'll need a new bit account pete-eat

[–] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago

I'm honestly not sure if this would help Vance or hurt him, but I do know the conspiracy theories would be hilarious.

[–] chungusamonugs@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago

I'll say kamala beats Vance. Dudes a fucking weiner and the only charisma he has is saying that Trump picked him.

The republican party has essentially spent 10 years doing nothing but convincing their base that Trump is the only person who can do anything and nothing can get done without him. They will find another hog to cult of personality, but the shake up after his death will be hilarious.

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

mccrucified

He becomes the occluded Mahdi to sicko-queer people and didn't really die and is going to return on January 17th or the 20th on the innaguration to do the storm bigly, believe me

frothingfash ⛈️ passion mypillow-stare

[–] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

so you're saying trump can displace the totally alive 145 yo kennedy and become the truest imam

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

I'm still wanting to know more about what the Q dude that has the eagle in Dallas's deal was when all the -48 cultists went there

You don't have to hand it to them by any means, but the Q cranks have some fascinating characters

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

Obviously they will believe he is still alive and that he won the 2024 election (and 2020).

[–] Riffraffintheroom@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago

Probably conspiracy theories leading to another riot like Jan 6 but much smaller.

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago
[–] marxisthayaca@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

I would be banned from family chat for the amount of times I’d immitate “Donald Trump burning in hell” by audio memo

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

they'd do him like that warhammer guy and jd vance would be the first sacrifice

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

So instead of sacrificing psykers to the Astronomicon we're saccing incels?

[–] FortifiedAttack@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

He'd win the popular vote and it would be president Bagger Vance

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

He would still beat KDolph in the electoral college.

[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

Blue MAGA would performatively scold leftists for celebrating his death while secretly breathing a sigh of relief. Red MAGA would think he got poisoned by the CIA and shoot up a poll booth or something.