this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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chapotraphouse

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/21517567

Summary

Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.

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[–] axont@hexbear.net 50 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

What is going on? Why are demons attacking in my sleep and why are they making me gay? The Democratic party is sending gay demons to snuggle with you and satitate your scratching kink

confusion

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago

Honestly would not be surprised if a gay sex tape is about to drop and this is how he tries to pretend it's not that

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 52 points 3 days ago (1 children)

intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible

yep three very similar things

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's like being bit by a liberal and getting an overwhelming urge to read Harry Potter.

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Oh god I wanna get brunch with bottomless mimosas and then VOETTTTTTTTTTT"

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I wanna get brunch with bottomless mimosas and then VOETTTTTTTTTTT"

You're doing your part for Dumbledore's Army! im-doing-my-part

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

He's not dead if he lives in our icy little hearts!

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 29 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Normal people call this a cat biblically-accurate-kitty

[–] GiorgioBoymoder@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago (2 children)

yeah this happened to me too, but at least i busted

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

volcel-judge I hope it was worth your stay in Horny Jail.

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 23 points 3 days ago (2 children)

He should post nudes. We need to see the claw marks.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 20 points 3 days ago
[–] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

What is going on? There's naked pictures of me... all over the internet? Like what you see? Hope you do. Because there's plenty more where that came from.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Definitely wasn't an animal. Demon is the most reasonable explanation.

[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

Definitely wasn't rough play in an affair that left scratches that were clearly from human nails.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago

This is 100% he got caught cheating after some kinky shit and covered for it by "OMG I WAS ATTACKED BY A REAL ACTUAL DEMON!"

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 24 points 3 days ago

live-kissinger-reaction It was Kissinger trying to possess a body of the living to escape his eternal torment.

Next time I won't miss

anarchist-occult

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 20 points 3 days ago

I, too, have a pet cat

[–] nicklewound@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago

Demon's aren't like they used to be, folks. Sadly, you can no longer rely on demon's to finish the fucking job.

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Should be cw for Self harm i-cant

[–] HumongousChungus@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

can't even sleep anymore, because of woke

[–] porcupine@lemmygrad.ml 17 points 3 days ago

Tucker being unusually self-aware about self-harming in his sleep

[–] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

Critical support.

[–] Poogona@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago

I hate that things are the way that they are now, I can't even have a good laugh at Tucker getting attacked by demons in his sleep like I would have a decade ago

[–] Hotspur@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 days ago

Sounds like he got some of Alex Jones’ supplements.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Tucker Calrson's Sleep Apnea Demon is a thing now.

live-kissinger-reaction victim-of-communism

[–] Grandpa_garbagio@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

He's been going on the religious wacko thing for awhile since fox news. Idk what he's doing, he doesn't sound earnest at all but apparently he thinks this is the move.

Might be trying to get his followers to be more willing to listen to the crazier conspiracy stuff by comparison. Like oh well if tucker is saying this maybe there is something to it kind of thing

Start innocuous ish and start slipping in more protocols of the elders of Zion tier stuff with it

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

NuFundies are almost as bad as TradCaths. disgost

[–] buh@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

He's entering his omegaverse phase

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago

I too have a vivid imagination. imaginator

That's just a preview of your eternal reward Tucky.