this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Gumbyyy@lemmy.world 27 points 7 hours ago

FAKE! Obviously no self-respecting Apple iPhone user would own a Windows PC. Gotta keep it all in that walled garden, baby!

[–] Infomatics90@lemmy.ca 12 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

troll. no one uses Norton anymore, its all about avast.

[–] SuspiciousCatThing@pawb.social 9 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Is my McAfee not cool anymore?

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 1 points 33 minutes ago

no no no, kaspersky is where it's at

[–] Infomatics90@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 hours ago

No, he's not shooting holding RPGs in his hand with blow all over the table anymore.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 20 points 10 hours ago (4 children)

prepares a morning shower

??

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 1 points 27 minutes ago

Max had already turned on the shower for me, setting the water temperature right where I liked it. As I jumped into the steam-filled stall. Max switched the music over to my shower tunes playlist. I recognized the opening riffs of “Change,” by John Waite. From the Vision Quest soundtrack. Geffen Records, 1985.

Ready Player One had an AI that prepared his shower for him

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 9 points 5 hours ago

Wall mounted mechanical dildo obviously

[–] secret300@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 7 hours ago

HAL begs anon "please take a shower"

[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 12 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

this was written by someone pretending they know how showers work

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 4 points 4 hours ago

Notice he never actually enters the shower in this story.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 2 points 5 hours ago

Written by AI, you bet?

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 67 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

No wait, you're telling me that mega-corporations don't care about me getting good products and having sole ownership of my personal data?

B-but [sponsored tech-geek blog], [generic gaming-news outlet] and [irrelevant apple shill] only ever told me so! Are you implying they lie to me?

Realtalk I only use cracked win11 pro workstation and iPhone because of work, every telemetry possible disabled (god bless the EU).

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 20 hours ago

I have a trash internet connection so I just play whack-a-mole with internet privileges. Windows update? No. NVIDIA? Not a chance. Google? How is that even on my computer? But also nah.

Turns out most things use fuck all resources without internet

[–] perviouslyiner@lemmy.world 75 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Google a recent medical symptom - your smart watch already knows the gritty details

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 2 points 7 hours ago

...But my smart watch is local sync only through FOSS alternative app. Maybe it's a normally intelligent watch instead of a smart watch.

[–] sylver_dragon@lemmy.world 59 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

It's always cancer.
Sore throat - cancer.
Back ache - cancer.
Tiredness, cough, loss of taste and/or smell - maybe COVID. But also, cancer.

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 1 points 39 minutes ago* (last edited 37 minutes ago)

"It's probably nothing to worry about. Or cancer."

[–] archonet@lemy.lol 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

In its defense, the symptom I googled most recently like a year and a half ago, did, in fact, turn out to be cancer.

Yes, I'm fine now. But sometimes it's right.

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 3 points 8 hours ago

Doesn't take away the fact you should've asked a doctor instead of a search engine, though.

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 23 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

For real, though, I'm building a Hal9000 system for my home built on top of Home Assistant and Esphome.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

What kind of hardware are you using for voice controls/voice output? Been looking to build an Ai waifu to control the lights.

I'll have to dig through my receipts to see. The Hal project has taken a back seat to the microchip controlled pet feeding stall project.

[–] Object@sh.itjust.works 34 points 22 hours ago (4 children)

On that matter, why is Norton antivirus so popular? I don't remember being prompted to install one when installing Windows, yet I've seen a lot of people with it.

[–] notthebees@reddthat.com 6 points 13 hours ago

It just comes on cheap prebuilts or laptops. It sucks.

[–] skooma_king@lemm.ee 32 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Back in the day, you were pushed hard to either put McAfee or Norton on your computer when you bought one from Dell, Compaq, etc. A lot of older people still think you need to do that so it’s still pretty popular.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 7 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I always used kaspersky which I stupidly downloaded from a torrent lol. Guess it worked? I'll never know tho.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 11 points 19 hours ago

It protected our computer perfectly :)

[–] radix@lemmy.world 45 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

Back in the day, Norton actually made some useful tools. They've been coasting on that 90s reputation for decades, though. It's all unnecessary bloatware now.

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

There's still contracts that force anti-virus on servers and desktops so that may be their other source of revenue

[–] BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 17 hours ago

Dos was so much easier to use with Norton Commander.

[–] Tash@lemmy.world 8 points 20 hours ago

You gave me flashbacks of the Peter Norton and John McAfee days!

[–] odium@programming.dev 30 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

It comes preinstalled in a bunch of laptops.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 32 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

strange, most IT professionals will tell you the only thing you need is Windows Defender and an ability to think before clicking strange download buttons

[–] odium@programming.dev 18 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Not strange, most executives will sign a deal where another company gives them money for every laptop they sell with that company's product preinstalled.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

ah of course, money

[–] SomeGuy69@lemmy.world 13 points 22 hours ago

beep boop "You're wrist circumference is too wide and the tracker noticed no physical activities."