I'd like to be pinged, please!
menby
A space for masculine folks to talk about living under patriarchy.
Detoxing masculinity since 1990!
You don’t get points for feminism, feminism is expected.
Guidelines:
- Questions over blame
- Humility over pride
- Wisdom over dogma
- Actions over image
Rules (expansions on the guidelines):
- Mistakes should be learning experiences when possible.
- Do not attack comrades displaying vulnerability for what they acknowledge are mistakes.
- If you see good-faith behavior that's toxic, do your best to explain why it's toxic.
- If you don't have the energy to engage, report and move on.
- This includes past mistakes. If you've overcome extreme reactionary behavior, we'd love to know how.
- A widened range of acceptable discussion means a greater need for sensitivity and patience for your comrades.
- Examples:
- "This is reactionary. Here's why."
- "I know that {reality}, but I feel like {toxicity}"
- "I don't understand why this is reactionary, but it feels like it {spoilered details}"
- You are not entitled to the emotional labor of others.
- Constantly info-dumping and letting us sort through your psyche is not healthy for any of us.
- If you feel a criticism of you is unfair, do not lash out.
- If you can't engage self-critically, delete your post.
- If you don't know how to phrase why it's unfair, say so.
- No singular masculine ideal.
- This includes promoting gender-neutral traits like "courage" or "integrity" as "manly".
- Suggestions for an individual to replace a toxic ideal is fine.
- Don't reinforce the idea the fulfillment requires masculinity.
- This also includes tendency struggle-sessions.
- No lifestyle content.
- Post the picture of your new grill in !food (feminine people like grills too smh my head).
- Post the picture of the fish you caught in !sports (feminine people like fish too smdh my damn head).
- At best, stuff like this is off-topic. At worst, it's reinforcing genders norms..
- If you're not trying to be seen as masculine for your lifestyle content, it's irrelevant to this comm. If you are trying to be seen as masculine, let's have a discussion about why these things are seen as masculine.
Resources:
*The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks
me too
Ping please.
Thank you to whoever added the audio book, easy to knock out folks!
ping meee!
don't really identify as masc these days but from what I've hear it will likely still be useful
I read this maybe ten years ago and remember liking it, but it has been a while
Add me to the list please and thank you.
Huh maybe
I'd like to be pinged. I was waiting a bit for this to go up since they announced it. This would be my first real reading group tbh.
I read this with the last reading group but didn't really have much to say or participate in the discussion. I'll give it another go this time please ping me!
Ping me, please! Had this on my list but I'd love to be in the discussions too!
yooo lemme get in on the ping. Would love to read this one again
Please ping me I've been meaning to finish this and I'd love to do it along with y'all.
I'm in. Ping me please my friend.
we expect masc Hexbear users to participate
what's "masc"?
Short for masculine, what we mean by that is users who identify as men or identify with masculinity in general. Everyone is welcome to participate of course but there's a specific expectation that masc users will be reading
This is hexbear communist indoctrination funded by leftist billionaires and the government!!!1!!
Jokes aside, please ping me :)
Ping me please!
go on then, ping me please
I think there should be a reminder before the day though. Maybe half way there and then the day before.
Great idea, I just don't want to inundate people with pings I'll at least do a "halfway there" ping ig
"I know you are here to @ me. Ping, mod, you are only going to fill my inbox."
— Che Guevara's last words, probably
Or maybe like, 3 days as a medium?
Time for your hexbear mandated de-penising honey
Sarcasm aside im excited for this though, especially to be betyer at clapping back to some lib friends that are slipping into the incel blueanon pipeline and spout misogyny into the group chat with increasing frequency
Ping me, please. I read the first chapter of this about a yearish ago, but I have a lot of trouble finishing books
This is awesome! I just happened to pick up the audiobook and was planning to listen to it when I visit family next week.
Ping me.
I'd like to be pinged too. 120 pages seems manageable. Thanks for the effort.
Ping me too, would like to understand and combat these masc brainworms in my friends and inside my head-wolves
Has been on my reading list for a while
Ping me baby
I read this I think at the start of COVID. Tag me in coach. Let's all elevate ourselves together!
I was kinda feeling like re-reading this one for a while now, it definitely is very entry-level as far as any kind of antri-patriarchal theory goes, but I also remember it being a very touching and very revealing book to me. I'm definitely in, looking forward to this. Please send me a ping when those threads go live.
feel free to start thinking of recommendations for the next menby book