this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2024
89 points (100.0% liked)

chat

8245 readers
471 users here now

Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

As with all communities posts need to abide by the code of conduct, additionally moderators will remove any posts or comments deemed to be inappropriate.

Thank you and happy chatting!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I told my friend I love her and wanted to kiss her again (we went on a date recently and we known each other for like 10 years)

I felt like the only responsible thing was to be honest and now I am losing my mind waiting to hear from her again.

top 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 38 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (5 children)

In my defense she did tell me it lights up her day whenever I text her and that she wanted to be part of my life "no matter what" so I don't think that was an unreasonable thing to do on my part, its just that romance has always ended badly for me and I really really love this girl and I need someone to tell me its gonna be fine.

Please help I need advice.

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 37 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

From the information in this post it seems like you're fine, I don't think you crossed any inappropriate boundaries and it seems she's receptive. You'll be ok.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 24 points 3 weeks ago

Thank you. It has been a while and the only two serious relationships I ever had ended badly and both times were mostly my fault. I'm not afraid of rejection I'm afraid of getting into another romantic relationship.

[–] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Go for it, Nako... At least you've tried!

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 20 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I'm not afraid of rejection I'm afraid of her wanting to be in a relationship lol.

Rejection I can shrug off, it's falling in love again that terrifies me.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

This is going to be corny af, but falling in love is like a roller-coaster: it's supposed to be scary but exciting and crazy and it all happens so fast.

Sending you the best vibes so you can enjoy the ride

[–] Allero 1 points 3 weeks ago

Ohhh So, I'm kinda new here and not aware of your stories, but, I gotta say that, relationships can absolutely be healthy and beautiful, and you seem to be the perfect person to have them :)

You're careful, but thoughtful, decisive even if scared, ready to learn on your experiences, and you value whatever she can give to you. That's a good sign!

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like the lights were pretty green

[–] Verenata@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fingers crossed thats so brave!!

Advice?

Breathe, chill, roll a j, vibe 💅

From the sounds of it you two are close and mean a lot to each other. You've said your peace and given her agency and choice. Cool beans.

If she says no and she meant as a friend will you still stay friends?

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

she says no and she meant as a friend will you still stay friends?

Definitely

[–] Verenata@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Yey!!!!! Awwwh rooting so hard for you

tony-cheer

Edit: to be a couple, I'm rooting for that. Not you being friends. Just to be very clear.

[–] alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net 1 points 3 weeks ago

The only boundary you've crossed is being star-crossed 🥰💫

[–] aFairlyLargeCat@hexbear.net 33 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Going to give you some genuine, certified, very old guy advice:

You did the right thing, let the chips fall where they may. You told her how you feel, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

fidel-salute

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yea I am a somewhat old guy (I'm 39 she's 30) so I know I just gotta wait and see I just wanted some morale support, thank you all you helped a lot

[–] reddit@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

I will not make a power dynamics joke and instead just wish you the best of luck

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago
[–] plinky@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago
[–] AmericaDelendaEst@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

things are gonna be okay ya dummy

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You've passed the threshold of my experiences. I've loved this person for over half my life and I'm still scared to tell her that. Congratulations, it sounds like your fine though. Keep us updated

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You've passed the threshold of my experiences.

how so?

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 weeks ago

I've loved this person for over half my life and I'm still scared to tell her that.

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

You got this. You're a good person, and the way you talk about your friend tells me you genuinely love her.

[–] naom3@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

I’m in a really similar situation: I have a really good friend who I’ve known for like 10 years and who I’ve had feelings for for a long time and recently he kissed me when he was really drunk and I think he might like me but I’m not sure and I don’t know what to do ohnoes I’m scared of telling him that I like him and I don’t know if he really likes me or if he was just drunk and he hasn’t mentioned it and I can’t tell if he even remembers it or if he’s just pretending it didn’t happen ohnoes I’ve kinda been freaking out about this continuously since then

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

I don't have any advice other than you did exactly what I did, and I hope it works out better for you than it did me 07

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Pain, I can't imagine the nerves

Babes, you got this