hello

After a year, doing my estrogen injections are just a normal, mildly annoying part of life, and not super exciting like they used to be. I know it was bound to happen at some point, but still a bit sad. On the other hand, there's something nice about feeling it's a natural part of life too, like it's just who I am and that's just normal, not weird or exciting.

mmmm....

long hair on back of neck feels nice :)

Came out to a friend I haven't seen in a year last night. He asks, "What about your gender presentation/expression? You look the same as always." I want to be gracious, and I know he's just trying to be supportive and take an interest in my life, but the interview was kinda tough.

got to watch Nosferatu in a theater all to myself, which was great because 1) I feel awkward watching sex scenes with other people, even if they're strangers several feet away from me, and 2) I got to sit in girly positions without feeling self conscious about it, and stand up when I felt tired of sitting

i wish bean bags were good

Had to get some government stuff updated.

Thank god this trans guy is here to get my stuff squared away, every time I gotta do something government for my gender or name it's always like pulling teeth and "eh I dunno if we can do that..." until eventually I get someone who half asses it and I have to get whatever else fixed. Also, used my pronouns right keep on rocking 👍

I have to start finding a replacement for my HRT soon, I only have enough to last the month... but theres so much fucking work to do fucking gah

Why are cigarettes deathly unhealthy when they're such a vibe?

Managed to fix my sleep schedule, then I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and couldn't sleep and now it's fucked again

Back on the mones, hopefully no more interruptions now that I've got my jizz frozen

::: spoiler my own maladaptive processes

I hate my brain sometimes. I tried to express to someone who called me pretty that they were also attractive and was hit with overwhelming waves of feeling predatory for even finding someone attractive. I hate my brain. Idk if i even want to fuck this person, i think i just want to be their friend, but i still feel predatory for even finding them attractive in the first place, let alone that i expressed that to them.

I hate my internalized transphobia.

Reminder to join our group chat :D We had a name change

https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:transfem.dev

i am running out of room on my bed for more plushies and it is A Problem.

It’s hard to scroll and watch reality tv when it’s in a foreign language

ff

hate it when the site calls me out

Drinkin' gay baby juice

This shit ain't nothing to me man

When can I expect the increase in my emotional range now that I've got some estrogen flowing through me? Please don't tell me it depends like everything else 😭

Also lots of very feelings today

my meds are here! now i can go back to being anxious about... everything else

Who up transing their gender

When I said I wanted ED this is not what I meant

Yelled at my boss about patient care stuff (boring beaurocratic stuff, she's making exceptions to our off service adult patients and it keeps being a problem when she's not around because of it). That was cool