this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
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Cyberstuck

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A place to post your Cybertruck fails! We're here to make fun of this hunk of shit and throw as much shade as we can to that garbage bag of a human elon.

No doxxing No slurs No racism And no fucking nazis!

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[–] skozzii@lemmy.ca 188 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Buy a cybertruck, they are best vehicle ever, except a few catches.

Like for example you can't wash it or it'll break, cant drive it or the wheels will fall off, and best not to sit in it either incase it traps you inside.

This is quite possibly the greatest product America has ever made. Well atleast its affordable.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 62 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Wonder why no one is suing yet. I’m legitimately confounded by the absence of lawsuits

[–] philycheeze@sh.itjust.works 58 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a contracted arbitration or something…

[–] grue@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago

I am sick and tired of the war on property rights. The amount of companies trying to misrepresent product as services in order to seize undeserved control is too damn high!

[–] DarkSirrush@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 month ago

The ones that had by far the best grounds to sue burnt to death.

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Well, the guy who made the trucks gutted the CFPB a few months back...

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[–] Crikeste@lemm.ee 24 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Don’t touch the doors or the panel will fall off.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 21 points 1 month ago

You can safely touch the emergency door release cover. That panel will NOT come off.

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[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Lol and don't slam the doors!

For the record, if you slam the doors the inside part comes partially loose and catches on the interior, so that when you open the door again the inside part tears away (literally tears like a rag).

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[–] PleaseLetMeOut@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Well atleast its affordable.

Starting price is like $82,000, or $101k with options lol

https://www.caranddriver.com/tesla/cybertruck

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 month ago

Pretty sure that's the joke

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yeah but used ones must be very cheap lmao

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[–] heavydust@sh.itjust.works 79 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Same. I washed my hair yesterday and I had a heart attack. I also washed my stainless steel forks and they rust in a few minutes. It's the worst.

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What ? Dont you know that dihydrogen monoxide has a Ph higher than any acid ? Why would you put that on your hair !

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[–] Helvetica@sh.itjust.works 75 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Ok, so a car wash kills it. What happens when it rains? Do they sell a giant umbrella to mount on the stupid ass thing?

[–] Pilferjinx@lemmy.world 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe the soap dissolves some load bearing glue?

[–] madcaesar@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (12 children)

It's not a joke, the frame is plastic and the steel panels are glued on.

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[–] Etterra@discuss.online 25 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I wonder if it's because the "geniuses" at Tesla forgot to protect the electronics from water coming up from beneath it. It would explain a lot lol

[–] Cornelius_Wangenheim@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's a YouTube video of someone chopping one up and that's exactly what it is. There're holes in the frame that allow water to get inside the battery compartment and pool there.

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[–] Piemanding@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 month ago

Somewhere else I saw that there are unprotected wires in a well of the frame that can accumulate water.

[–] schema@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

So that means someone could potentially brick a cybertruck by spraying water on it from below at the right spot?

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You're describing a puddle.

[–] SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago (4 children)
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[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 70 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Apparently part of the frame fills up with water until the level gets high enough to short some critical internal wiring

[–] droans@midwest.social 38 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Smh y'all will do anything to disparage Teslers.

The driver does something stupid, such as getting the car wet, and the car sometimes shuts itself down instead of catching fire.

No other car even tries to stop itself after getting wet! Can't you see how much better they are?! Have you even said thank you once? In this conversation?

/s

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[–] pipes@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

Jesus Christ

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Drill some holes in the lowest parts of the frame?

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[–] HaveMeOnYourPodcast@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You remember when he said it would function as a boat.

[–] stankmut@lemmy.world 63 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Like a boat, you don't get to use it as much as you like and you have to keep throwing money at it.

[–] ChapulinColorado@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

And the 2 happiest days of ownership are when you get it and when you get rid of it. Although I’m guessing some people might be having second thoughts as they take delivery given all the news about the build quality. Truly revolutionary, making boats seem reliable.

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[–] ThefuzzyFurryComrade@pawb.social 59 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Note that the charger is stuck.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Guess they don’t know about the string you yank hidden in the tailgate to unlock it manually

[–] uranibaba@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What’s up with that? Did they wash it while charging?

[–] BakedCatboy@lemmy.ml 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It sounds like it didn't die in the carwash but overnight, so my guess is they plugged it in overnight after the wash and after it died the plug won't unlock maybe?

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You gotta be a special kind of broken to not have power while plugged in.

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago (8 children)

The body isn't watertight and water collects in the frame due to lack of drain holes. The accumulated water shorts the electrical connections and discharges everything.

Probably a lot of corrosion damage now too.

Not being able to detach the charge cable due to lack of power is extra funny. They have a manual release but you have to remove a panel in the bed to get to it.

Basically the vehicle is in beta but they released it anyway.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

The vehicle is in beta but they released it anyway.

Ah sounds like the startup strategy of having someone with the nickname Big Balls working for an org called DOGE given data on every US citizen without any oversight.

[–] uranibaba@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

I rented a car recently and they upgraded me to a Tesla Model 3. I charged the car twice and both times I had to do the manual release to unplug it.

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[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago (10 children)

So the Cyberfuck is:

  • Not bulletproof
  • Not waterproof
  • Can't handle mud or snow
  • Can't handle the sun
  • Can't handle parking lots

Did I miss anything?

[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

• fucking ugly

[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Can rust even under ideal conditions

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[–] Etterra@discuss.online 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)

LOL "truck." Now it's a very pricey, completely stupid looking piece of lawn ornamentation.

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Like most trucks.

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[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Charge the car wash with terrorism.

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[–] LostWon@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Doesn't using a car wash without putting the car in "car wash mode" first void its warranty, or was that false news? (I don't remember where I heard it.) Nice way to make a lot of unsuspecting people void their warranty.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's actually in the owner's manual for the thing, very true. I've seen it posted before.

I wish I had a link handy for you, but honestly I despise the thing and would much rather piss on it than bother with any more research.

Hell, it's already a laundry list of recalls..

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[–] carrion0409@lemm.ee 10 points 4 weeks ago

Mfw my little hyundai hatchback is more durable than a supposed "prepper vehicle"

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