Asklemmy

They treat service people well.

they read books

There is a term in kendo called hikitate geiko. I won't get too technical, but in essence, it is an attitude employed by a senior who spars with their junior that helps elevate their skills. It is more difficult than it appears, because if you make it too easy for them, they don't improve, but if you make it too hard for someone, they won't learn anything either; and at the same time, you yourself won't benefit from the spar. By practicing good hikitate geiko, you are able to elevate your partner's skills, but at the same time, refine and perfect your own technique.

I find that this attitude is beautiful in every aspect of life, and isn't easy to accomplish; I think this is a huge green flag when someone does that well, regardless of the situation or context.

They are happy to see you!

They handle stress and disappointment well.

They don't externalize their frustrations, and take responsibility for solving their own problems. They act like a functioning adult.

They have interests and hobbies that they are happy to do alone, or share.

Unfair - but they don't have intense money, drug, social pressure in their life, a stable situation is the good grounds for relationships

bonus: If their parents are attractive, then they could be a good partner who ages gracefully with you

Uses vim?

If a person carries their trash with them until they stumble upon a trash bin they instantly have a plus in my book.

Kindness to animals. Just all animals, generally

The simple virtue of being able to genuinely express these words; "I don't know", "Sorry" and "Thank you" (or any derivative of these*).

• vegan
• soft spoken
• patient
• hands scarred/calloused from work
• creases in face from smiling
• casual manner/attire
• walks around other earthlings on footpaths etc instead of through
• puts their shopping trolley away, bonus if they round up others
• mocks authority
• is kind to children and listens to them seriously

They're self aware. Understand the difference between subjectivity and objectivity. When they encounter someone different, they don't judge, see it as a learning opportunity. Put thought into their words. If you ask them a question, you can see them carefully thinking about it.

Only kicks upwards, not downwards. Has a backbone and principles. Doesn't value money over meaning. Likes to teach people instead of putting oneself over them.

Expresses disagreement with people talking shit about others when they don't have to

Actually intelligent, reads books, sense of humor, actually listens.

People who treat others who cannot benefit them well. For example, wait staff.

No particular order:

• Being a furry/furry sympathetic.
• A science major of any kind. IMO the S needs more love in STEM.
• Ever overhear them say "walkable" in a positive light.
• Hobbies besides media consumption
• Not "too cool" to learn something. Likes learning for fun.
• Not to concerned with looking cool or badass, either. Look at CHUDs, I made a joke the other day that I can sense a decent bit of residual 90's 'tude in modern CHUDDery, and I think I'm onto something.

Treats everyone with respect regardless of what their perceived status is.

I should probably add my own. They like plants

When they call you because they're at the supermarket and you might want something.

They talk about Pokemon in the first date and will defend gen whatever while still calling it shit.

Their soul is sufficiently supple for the ritual.

They're a fucking weirdo like me and so don't mind being goofy a good bit of the time.

They can laugh at themselves. Not to the point of self deprecation, but they can acknowledge when they're wrong or dumb

Having red and yellow or red and black flags on their clothing/accessories

They actually show up, or, failing that, tell you they aren't going to show up and summarize why and when the next best time is.

Good range of spices - preferably slightly more than they have enough room for.

I feel like everything is a green flag until a red flag pops up. Like how an open road is functionally a permission to cintinue driving.

There are things where I get excited about a person, but even then red flags are more important. "Never admits to wrongdoing" and "Thinks kicking down a door and screaming at your partner is an appropriate response to leaving a mug in the wrong cupboard" is going to flatly be more important in a relationship than "does activism" or "is house trained".

That said, I don't like arguing all the time and do organising stuff irl, so it would be nice to agree politically on a bunch of things. Responds to texts/messages and seems excited to build conversation with me.

its more of a long term green flag but whenever someone listens to me, like brings up something i mentioned ages ago or whatever, its just a nice little thing i appreciate a lot

communism, support for palestine

Cutting the bullshit and getting straight to the point. If I wanna play games I have a playstation.

Liking ska punk

They are open to the idea that they could be at fault in any given situation but neither always assume they are nor always assume they are not.

They communicate honestly

• Eager to discuss the cool things they've read.

• Able to make me laugh.

• Cleans up after themselves (I know, low bar).

• Communist of some stripe.

Superficial but:

• Physically stronger than me.

They smile at people they meet in a genuine "have a good day" vibe. It lifts people more than you know.

When they pay back what they owe without being reminded.