ah yes, when someone tells me to "go get some water" I usually put it on a plate. Very natural.
this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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yeah it's clearly fake, a goodfaketext
not 100% sure but I'd say those are male hands too
"I don't want to disolve drugs in the bowls I eat out of so I got a disposable container"
Better execution of the joke
Its also the original afaik
definitely like the shortness of this one more, but i am undecided on the pointe
So much better. The writing in OP’s post seems so unnatural and… bad.
I have to assume it was this pill:
It's no stree overlord
I had so many of those as a child. In hindsight, having a drawer full of (sometimes damp) animal shaped sponges was weird.
mom found the animal sponge drawer
My brothers and I filled a huge pickle jar with these and some water with the intent to let them sit for a few weeks to see how big they would get. We put them in my brother's closet and promptly forgot about them for ~5 or so years. One day my brother heard a popping sound in his closet and when he opened it, putrid water was trickling down the closet shelf and soaking the carpet below. Something was growing in the jar and the built up pressure popped the lid, spilling a bunch of shit all over. The smell never quite left his room
Those animals under the extreme pressure of their surroundings, mutated into a chimera and pooped everywhere
My mom did this to me when she found the thermal compound in a syringe. Didn't bother to read the label.
"IS THIS A WEED? "
I don't even care if this is fake or not, this gave me a good laugh.
there used to be a subreddit r/goodfaketexts (as an alternative to r/badfaketexts), not sure if lemmy has something similar
It is very important to reaffirm that you are talking to mom in a private chat with mom by referring to her as "mom" as often as possible.
One of my kids does this so I don't think it's that weird
That's extremely common to do.
Well, it gets confusing when your mom is a famous stock photo hand model.
Which has a very masculine looking hand.
The best way to get macro plastics into your blood stream
What would happen if you swallowed one of these pills?
There's a small-ish risk of intestinal blockage AFAIK
I'm not Sure but I know an old lady who swallowed a fly...
Do you think she'll die?
From the fly, no. From the possible parasites in the fly's gut, maybe.
Not unless she swallows a spider to catch the fly
Well she can just swallow a bird to catch the spider.
Great ... now she needs to swallow a cat to catch the bird to catch the spider to catch the fly
Then a dog, then the dog catcher, then the police officer who shows up wondering about the dog catcher... Before you know it, we're ~~making memes~~ reading the news about a geriatric Hannibal Lecter
She should swallow a hydrogen cyanide capsule that only dissolves if triggered by the detection of radioactive decay.
Who knows what will happen to the cat?