this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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[–] segabased@lemmy.zip 3 points 15 minutes ago

Far more likely there is nothing in front of the ship and riker knows his ass is about to fire some consequence free lasers. He derives great pleasure from the reaction or lack of reaction of the crew on the bridge as he continues to chat about unrelated things

[–] radiouser@crazypeople.online 4 points 13 hours ago

Reminds me of this video:

"Star Trek TNG - Will Riker Destroys the Enterprise-D"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMHAZwR-BdQ

[–] Archangel1313@lemm.ee 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Now, if he took off his pants...that'd be a different story.

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 3 points 12 hours ago

i’m sure if we have palm rejection worked out in tablets, ass cheek rejection is absolutely future table-screen tech

[–] sxan@midwest.social 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I... I really hate to be that guy, but... "phasers".

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thank you. If it weren't for you I'd be "that guy".

Among the wider populace it'd be too pedantic, but this is a Star Trek community; put some respec on his name.

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 10 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Unrelated anecdote:

Years ago I had a cheap Blackberry lookalike phone. It had a button lock feature to prevent butt dialing, but some bright spark decided that the lock wouldn't apply to the '9' and '1' keys, presumably so that a user could dial 9-1-1 even if too panicked to unlock the keypad. Which just meant that it was really easy to butt dial 9-1-1...

[–] Sturgist@lemmy.ca 2 points 13 hours ago

Had something similar, except that the code on the phone to dial 911 with the keys locked was #08. Keys were so sensitive I couldn't keep my phone in my pocket, had to live in my bag or it'd be dialling emergency services.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 33 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That works until the first species joins Star Fleet that types with their butts.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (4 children)

There was a TNG episode that established that controls would only respond to authorized inputs, presumably from whatever limbs, organs, or phalanges any crewmember might typically use for such purposes.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They meet an alien species who controls all their electronics and touch sensitive systems using a single long appendage attached to their groin.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] phorq@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 day ago

Nah, other way around, that's a long groin attached to their appendage (braid).

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Arguing over such details is pretty silly when you consider that if we have spaceships in the 24th century they'll probably be completely autonomous, and people will simply ride around in them without even knowing how they work. We just like to make up imperfect but fun stories where the future is the present + gadgets. George Jetson endures rush-hour traffic jams in his space car.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

This is one of the things that annoyed me about the latest Dune movies: all the switches in the cockpits of the ornithopters. Nothing else in that universe seems to require switches, but the ornithopters are set up like 1980s helicopters for some reason.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

LOL nice observation, I didn't notice but yeah, that's dead on.

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They use their asses for identification.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

By sniffing them like dogs? That's hot

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 1 points 5 hours ago

M'ress and T'ana might disagree.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 8 points 23 hours ago

Insufficient data. Please provide additional samples of each scenario.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I hope the screen was locked

looks down at the screen

“YOU HAVE ENTERED YOUR PASSWORD INCORRECTLY TOO MANY TIMES. CONTACT TECHNICAL SUPPORT.”

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This incident will be reported

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

ohhhh please don't report me sudo I'll do ANYTHING

[–] Psaldorn@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (3 children)

"Number one, asspedoes, FULL SPREAD"

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I think you meant Number 2

[–] Abnorc@lemm.ee 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

O'Brien, transport all of our ship's sewage to their bridge.

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[–] gurnu@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Ass pedos? Geez

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[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 6 points 23 hours ago

My bum is on the console, my bum is on the console. Look at me my bum is on the console.

[–] mmddmm@lemm.ee 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

One would hope that stupid fashion of touch screens on dangerous vehicles stops before the 24th century...

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's not a fashion choice. It's a versatility choice.

Suffice to say touchscreens give better feedback than today, as I've seen characters on Star Trek use those things blinded sometimes.

[–] T156@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

They're also much smarter than our ones. One episode had a kid worried about doing exactly the thing shown in the meme, where he'd fallen, caught himself on the control panel, and thought everyone had died as a result of him fat-fingering buttons.

He was reassured by Riker telling him it's impossible, because computer consoles can detect that, and have authorisation codes, so won't trigger the buttons otherwise.

Plus, there's aliens who have no eyes, and presumably cannot see in Starfleet. It would be unfair to them if they can't use anything except by voice controls.

[–] ArgentRaven@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'd be more worried that the panel is running plasma though it. Plasma that often violently explodes when the ship takes damage. He really trusts those panels with his butt.

[–] TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Nah, it's on the bridge... that panel is loaded to the max with rocks and fireworks.

[–] Zolidus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Were just going to ignore that Bryce Dallas Howard is just there, apparently immortal or something?

[–] blackluster117@sh.itjust.works 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Actually, that's Patricia Tallman. I went to highschool with her son.

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[–] Little_mouse@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago

Prodigy is a kids show but it still counts as canon, and there are a couple scenes of ass phasering going on.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Don’t worry, the ship is into it.

It may be the Enterprise-D, but it's more into the A

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[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

As long as the controls are prehensile penis compatible it's all good.

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

If I cannot operate a computer with my ass by the 24th century, I'm putting us all in a time loop until someone does something about that.

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