this post was submitted on 31 May 2025
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badposting

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badposting is a comm where you post badly


This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.

Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?


Rules:

  1. Do not post good posts.
    • Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
    • Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
  2. This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
  3. This rule intentionally left blank.
  4. If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.

Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo

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[–] PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago

keep on rolling my ball of dung and never look back

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago

I would simply not siege Stalingrad

[–] WoodScientist@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)

We are all Hitler. There is only one soul. Reincarnation jumps not only through space, but through time. Your next life could be a Roman slave girl c. 100 C.E. And it's just one big endless loop of consciousness. As soon as the one soul has traversed the totality of lives of every conscious being that is, was, or ever will be...then it loops back on itself and starts anew!

[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That whole cosmology and religion seems based in "shut the fuck up, status quo forever, you deserve to be a peasant"

[–] DornerStan@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

or "improving society for everyone magically benefits me too"

If westerners need magical narratives to dial back their hyper-individualism I'm all for it.

[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

The depressing part for me was, damn, I've got to do all this shit again?

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago

Good point, but I'm sure I heard some stuff about "change is impossible akchually"

[–] wideopenarms@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I want off Mr bones' wild ride

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

What are you, some kind of Buddhist?

[–] Chump@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

Back in the egg now

[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

I'd apologize, reverse all my administration's actions, and resign as president smuglord

[–] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

I would not siege Leningrad , but take it immidiatly.

[–] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I would be more curious about the past life of the person who lived in between me and Hitler, from 1945 to the 1990s. By standard reincarnation logic, this person must have been born to terrible circumstances as punishment for being literally Hitler. However they must have lived a remarkable and selfless life to have been rewarded highly with being me.

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I would grow a reverse Hitler moustache, to cancel out the Hitler in me

[–] crowbar@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

Center part. Curly. Blond. I have a lot to atone for

[–] DengistDonnieDarko@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

when hitler died his body exploded and sent shards flying to all corners of the world (like the Shikon jewel from InuYasha). this is why every cracker has hitler particles lodged deep in their soul. hitler died, and a million bürgerfuhrers were born.

[–] AnarchoBolshevik@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That was a particularly beautiful part of the story. Burned here as he is for eternity.

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] BadTakesHaver@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

I'd probably close the app and open it back up immediately on autopilot, then get frustrated at how much I use my phone.

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

Yeah same answer as funky

[–] HelluvaBottomCarter@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

Oh, so it's wrong to be Hitler now? Fucking woke bullshit .

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

Figure the karma must have gotten worked out by being a lot of bugs or whatever and if I'm back to human already it's probably fine

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I would brag about being the guy who killed Hitler.

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

MoSSad would have a field-day with that info. I gotta lay low.

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Probably wake up and go "damn this is why I don't do drugs"

*implying that it'd be my first time doing something like DMT or mushrooms and it's a bad fucking trip

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

Keep doing whatever I was already doing. Unless orher people found it out then I'd just keep that to myself

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

I am baffled by the idea that past lives would change anything about the present. Like, am I going to get sued (or perhaps rewarded) by "my" participation in a past life? Am I now more important for having been Alexander the Great, or less important for having been a peasant?

(I'm sure someone has thought about this more than me)

[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

If I were an immortal being on my bullshit I would go from Hitler straight to Kanye West so I could get a residual soul link to feel myself roll in my grave. Then I'd reincarnate as piano cat as a pallet cleanser

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

I know it's a tired joke, but I would have to look on the bright side. In a past life I was also the guy who killed Hitler.

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

I would nazi that coming

[–] corvidenjoyer@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

Laugh at my self for being even more of a loser then I thought, then Ascend to a higher plan of existence from the sheer concentrated grudge the hitlerian part of my soul will accrue as it begins to realize exactly what kind of [data expunged] that 30 million+ rampage has earned him in his next life.

sicko-power ligma-1