Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

My car has an analog clock face too.

"So?"

That's the response you want. Complete andutter boredom. You don't care. Their entire personality is built around a weird little status structure and if you don't buy into their hallucination they lose their everloving minds

That's cool, but MY watch has a Tomagachi living in it.

A classic that always makes people like this angry is the good ole, "Anyways, [Something you are casually going to do today or did yesterday]- " and a hand wave to dismiss the statement.

It infuriates them lol

"I don't get my happiness from material worth."

“What kinda mileage does it get?”

“Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

“Can you get me some more water?”

Look of confusion "Does...does that make you happy?"

-or-

"Was it worth it?"

Has this one done it? or how many such watches in do you get to be happy?

"that's a lot of money for such an ugly watch."

Smile really big and start laughing. Maintain the smile, maintain eye contact.

"How fast does it do 0-60?"

Sounds like you got ripped off

The classic "OK boomer" still gets them angry, if that's what you're after

Tell him I still banged your mom tho

"that's so sad"

But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn't going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.

Serious answer:

That's cool. What makes it special?

Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they're proud that they could afford it and even when they're being tone-deaf, there's no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they're stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you're the one judging them.

Cars (and watches) aren't so expensive that a middle-class person can't plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. You can act like that's true about you. My status-conscious former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say "I really like the 2008 model." She couldn't argue with that.

I think the really wealthy old-money people would never say such a thing. Because such a thing just wouldn't occur to them. And if someone said that to them, they'd just kind of smile and nod the same way they would to a toddler. Maybe say "Ah, yes, very good." So that's probably the best response.

But if I were writing a screenplay and had to come up with a one-liner I'd probably go with, "Just goes to show you can't buy class."

"Interesting, may I see?" And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :"It's fake" turn around and disengage.

"Was it meant to make you happier? I'm not sure it worked."

"what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that"

"one more time?"

"ok. thanks for letting me know."

"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"

"I don't have a car"

"So, you're both rich and stupid"

“Ok”

"Ok?"

"My wealth is in stocks"

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

See this casio watch? Still more accurate than whatever the fuck watch you have

Sorry I'm not into bracelets

"People with true value don’t need trinkets to convince others of their worth."

"Not everybody knows how to make the best use of their resources."

"Unless it has a button that stops time, you paid too much."

Yeah, but can your watch drive you to the store ?

If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you've already lost.