this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
951 points (96.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26910 readers
2276 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

(shamelessly stolen from an imgur dump)

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Re option 1: I'm assuming it's like when Arthur Dent learned to talk to birds.

[Arthur Dent] learned to communicate with birds and discovered that their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with wind speed, wingspans, power-to-weight ratios, and a fair bit about berries.

[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

3, 7 in is enough to travel through a few mm thick steel wall

7, being able to see through the walls of an actual container can save some time while robbing them

Also,

5, controlling a toaster with your mind is like controlling a pretty impractical relay. Combine it with amateur arduino skills and you can actually control any electro mechanical device with your mind. In that case i would pick 5 and 2. Selling the gravel will pay for the expensive hobby

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] TheGalacticVoid@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago (7 children)

3 and 7. With 3 you can essentially walk through walls, and with 7 you will know exactly which boxes you don't need to check when looking for something.

[–] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Getting powers and immediately offing yourself by phasing into a wall

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You im gonna do some jojo shit with number 2 and 3. You can drown anyone with gravel or silently kill them by making it appear in their body(lungs, veins, etc). You can also use it as an armor. And with teleportation you can do a lot of small teleportations fast to badically travel with sny speed. And depending on how teleportation is defined you can do op stuff with it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Pharmacokinetics@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

3 - It doesn't say it has a cool down so you can just spam it and go insanely fast

7 - It will be pretty useful in game shows. You can take a look inside a deck of cards and their order in their box. You know those "find the pebble in the right cup" street hustlers.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I pick 5 to make infinite money.

Step 1 - Buy some used toasters

Step 2 - Rebrand and sell those toasters

Step 3 - Make every toaster that isn't mine fail catastrophically

Step 4 - PROFIT!

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Hedup@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago (4 children)

3 and 7

I assume you can chain teleport and thus move pretty fast. Seeing that a container is empty can be useful I imagine.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Easy. 1 and 5.

1 - "Hey friends. Who's had an itchy grain of sand stuck inside? If you open wide I can take it out and put you back.". Profit.

5 - Insurance fraud by burning down vacant homes through "faulty wiring" then suing the manufacturer.

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 year ago

speaking an extinct language would actually be realy cool and I could teach it to others.

[–] andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 9 points 1 year ago

I at least like the toaster if we assume instantaneous faster than light control. If I can sit and watch a feed of stocks and toggle a buy/sell toaster hooked up to the stock market 250 ms away, I can pretty easily beat the market and make money.

Similarly you could use the empty container rule to have someone communicate with you by toggling the empty state of a container. If you sense/not sense the container you have a reliable binary communication channel and Morse code is pretty viable too. But it's probably best for a predetermined action because you're racing the latency of light here and we're not multiplanetary yet so you've only got hundreds of milliseconds margin to work with. Unless you contract with NASA or anyone yeeting things into space. Build an instrument that can Morse code via empting/filling a container and suddenly voyager can send us instant communication. Combine it with a set of control toasters and that's pretty valuable too.

Teleportation: is there a cool down? Because most places can be teleported to in increments of 7 inches if I can chain them.

[–] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Khitan and gravel, khitan would be a boon for linguists and i could help them document it until other people can learn to speak with me, and free gravel could be used to pillar up to places if done fast enough and could potentially clog things

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] wabafee@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I would probably would go with 1 and 6. I read an article awhile ago they were used to detect quality of water. I would have the ability to further interpretate what is wrong with the water by talking to the oysters. Might make money along the way and save people/ environment at the same time. As for 6 well is for obvious reason.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

As long as I'm still indecisive could we find out how fast Albert Einstein really was? Maybe for some of us it's still an improvement.

I mean I don't know, but if I google Albert Einstein and speed of light I get many hits.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Knowing containers are empty can be valuable.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] smackjack@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

3 could save your life if you get trapped inside your car.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›