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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Best to worst:
wedges (like a mini baked potato, but better!)
shoestring (a tried & true classic)
curly (the perfect blend of potato & seasoning)
zigzag (sometimes can be a bit mushy)
tots (sometimes give me heartburn for some reason)
waffle (often don’t get cooked all the way, if they stick together)
onion rings (a decent alternative to potato based side, but I can’t eat more than a few)
sweet potato (they just don’t fry right. The texture gets weird and the taste is off)
Fuck that potato canoes FTW
Weirdos:
Wedges (The Bagpipe Theorem: Phenomenal when it's good, terrible when it's bad, it is at the top and the bottom of the list)
Sweet Potato (I tend to not like sweeter things)
Onion Rings (Please God I have ARFID that's not good crunchy)
Thing a about sweet potatoes is, you can eat em straight. Sweet potato fries by themselves are probably less sugar than regular fries + ketchup
Onions > sweet potatoes > potatoes
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Straight out of the fryer
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If it's been on the plate for 10m
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Zig zag/crinkle cut goes to the back and I think waffle deserves the #1 spot personally. I agree with the rest of the ordering otherwise.
When cooked well enough, I'd say 1 2 4 5 8 3 6 7.
Ain't no way I'd ever put wedges higher or shoelace lower. Those are always gonna be constant.
8,7,3,1,5,2,4,6
i do love sweet potato, but quite often it seems they dont fit.
6 is so low on the list, because I genuinely never had good ones. If someone serves crinkle-cut fries, they are always the most bland, soggy, frozen industrial ones they can find.
Similar goes for 2 and 4, although they usually dont taste as bland, they seem to have some seasoning on them.
Seasoned fries for robbed
I’ll just take whatever. I’m not picky.
1,5,7,8,3,4,2,6
The top three are Shoestring, Curly, and Wedges, though not necessarily in that order. I still have not managed to figure out how the fuck restaurants make their shoestring (and steak) fries so fucking good.
Next are waffle fries and onion rings. They're okay.
Sweet Potato fries and tots after that. Just not my thing.
Whoever likes zigzag/crinkle-cut fries is a monster. May god have mercy on their twisted souls.
The secret winner though is zucchini fries, which are mana from the heavens.
Anglosphere ah ah list
Onion rings > tots > sweet potato > everything else
And fuck ketchup, combine one part mayonnaise and one part BBQ sauce to dip that shit in
ketchups good with an equal amount of chili pequin sauce mixed in. I learned this at a mexican restaurant that also served burgers and fries for some reason, and haven't been able to go back to any other fry sauce since
Ok there's another factor here and that's taking into account the dipping sauce if any.
Crinkle cut without sauce? Bland. With a good sauce? Those little accordion fucks hold way more than shoestring.
Anything in the list gets to move up +1 when chicken salt is added if the other contenders don't, except sweet potato or onion rings.
1 2 3 7 8 5 4 6
What? No Mojo's??
wedges, waffle, tots, onion rings, curly, shoestring, crinkle (never heard them called zigzag), sweet potato
I have had really good sweet potato fries that rank much higher, but they're a gamble. Seem to have greater variation in quality than the other options.
Onion rings top, then tots, then everything else
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5,3,8,4,7,2,6,1
I love my thick wedges! Shoestring always disappoints me for some reason
Sweet potato Onion Rings Curly Tots Shoestrings Wedges Waffle Zigzag.
Tots might be lower on the list, but I found they can work surprizingly well in some lazy microwave meals I make, so they get extra points for ease and dependability.