this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2025
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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 38 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They came to my house once. Once.

I was balls deep in Lost Izalith and someone rang the doorbell. Of course I can’t pause the game, so I placed my character on a spot I thought he would be safe.

While going down the stairs they rang a second time, must be urgent.

I open the door.

These two fucking fabric softener crusaders smile at me. One at the front, the other behind him. The first one asks if I “knew that Jesus loves me” and tries to hand me a brochure.

I hear my characters dying screams faintly from upstairs.

My eyes widen.

The “You Died” sound can be heard.

I don’t move. Just stare at him. He might have said something. I don’t know.

After some time, I don’t remember how long I stood there, they went away.

Their false god cost me my souls and humanities I could not retrieve. I will remember this. And so will they.

[–] bytesonbike@discuss.online 6 points 1 day ago

Can JW play Dark Souls?

Hmmm...night reign is three players and they always come in pairs.

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 41 points 2 days ago

Every single year they send people door to door in my area.

"Have you heard of our lord and savior?"

"Bitch, I literally live two doors down from a church."

Although I love the looks on their faces when I call their book 'The sheepherder's guide to the galaxy'.

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I started a whole discussion with them until they started to doubt their own beliefs, or were just disgusted by the time they wasted on me, and they never returned after that. That outcome suits me just fine.

[–] bytesonbike@discuss.online 6 points 1 day ago

I was bike riding when one of them flagged me down to chat. Then, the other one rushed to provide backup. I asked if they could think for themselves, and they looked at each other before responding.

Nice kids. Sadly brainwashed.

[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 21 points 2 days ago

"Have you heard of our lord and saviour RuPaul?"

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I've always loved the "double fuck you" of them using a shot from gay porn.

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Oh god, that’s from a gay porn? I get it’s fantasies and not reality but I’m sorry, what in the hell could be sexy about Mormon missionaries? You know there’s no way they know how to fuck. I guess it could be a variant of the seducing a straight dude fantasy, but I don’t get that one either for the same reason.

[–] LodeMike 9 points 2 days ago

Markets towards closeted Mormons

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latter_Days?wprov=sfla1

LDS is an exceptionally strict "mainline" sect of Christianity, while still being viewed as "different" to most American Christians. So the idea of a Mormon missionary being sexually liberated resonates well with people who have spent decades in the closet.

Also, it's the gay equivalent of a Catholic school girl fetish of robbing soiling something viewed of innocent/pure.

I came out relatively ‘early’ (late teens) so I hadn’t considered the appeal for people who had been closeted for much longer. That makes a lot more sense.

answers from ring doorbell “would you like to hear about our…” “no…no thanks im having a fat wank at the moment mate*

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 day ago

My own mother once said that she wished "the gays didn't have to be so in your face about it."

Fuck her. She voted for that shitbag a third time. I severed our relationship in January. I'm still gonna call her and scream at her when he declares marshal law (because I warned her and she dismissed me), but other than that, she's dead to me.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

"Hello! Would you like to change religions? I have a free book written by Jesus!"

[–] Midnitte@beehaw.org 3 points 2 days ago

I mean... I can think of worse examples