Ask Lemmy

Linkedin is the only social media I would reccomend to put yourself out (as in, put your successful projects in) as it's used more as a networking tool to land yourself in better jobs.

Fuck other social media. Anonymity is best.

Jesus Christ this thread 🤣

Delusional users believing lemmy and reddit ain't social media.

I know how you feel but joining in now might be a mistake. The trend at the moment is people leaving social media, soon people won't care if they can find you or not.

Stay away!

Don't.

Thats the only advice you need.

Social media is so dead. Everyone has one yeah but it's a placeholder. The novelty is gone

You're on social media right now, but personally, I don't care if there's nothing when people look me up: Seems like a bonus, I barely get spam calls anymore.

"The problem I'm having is that I don't exist online when people try to look me up."

That's not a problem, that's a privilege very few people get to enjoy. Fuсk social media and fuсk Facebook in particular.

Don't do it. I have stopped using Facebook and Instagram since November when they give me the choice to either pay a crazy amount or accept targeted ads.

The amount of time that I suddenly have is crazy. I have already read 7 books and Its been 20 years since I last had read a book!

Not to mention all the negativity and toxicity that I no longer get exposed to.

Its people own fault of they judge you by your being online of social media or not. That said, I don't think you'd be any better if they did value you on what you do online.

Maybe you can create a website with your basic information a few pictures and a short descriptive text. It's kind of a business card style website that will show up when people search your name on Google

You owe the internet NOTHING. You do not owe it posts at a certain interval, you do not owe it media, nothing. Only post what you want to post, when and how you want to post it.

Social Media should serve you. It should make you happy, it should make it easier to communicate with people you care about or share interests in. If it doesn't serve you or makes you unhappy, you should not feel any shame or regret in just walking away.

If you don't know whether or not you want to use "insert platform here", go ahead and sign up for a free account to reserve your name then just leave it until you find a need for it. If you end up not needing it, you can delete the account or just abandon it in place.

I would also say something like 'don't be afraid to ask questions', but you've already got that one down.

Have fun! :)

You're already using social media, the only difference is that you're in the fediverse, not the metaverse.

I know you've probably heard this about a dozen times by now, but..

Don't join Facebook.

They track everything they can about you, down to how long you spend looking at something on your screen. I'm fairly certain they listen to what's going on around you if you put the app on your phone. An ad for something I've mentioned in passing has popped up on my feed shortly later too many times to be a coincidence.

They follow you around on your browser, too. They know what you shop for. It's all specially tailored to sell you their ads.

I keep an account to stay in touch with my family, and it's appalling how much more information they get from you than any other app. Not to mention the heavy prevalence of MAGA hats and I'll-kill-you-before-I-consider-your-opinion conservatives.

Instagram isn't much better, but at least the people there are nicer.

I'd say if you aren't on them and don't need them, there's no reason to dip your toe in.

It's okay to be a little weird and save tons of time and not have to read worthless comments.

I was part of the main ones, but got rid of everything, LinkedIn Facebook, all of it. They are useless or detrimental personally, and I don't need them for my job.

This is the extent of my social media now.

Don't join LinkedIn unless you need to look for a corporate job. Be a trailblazer and join Mastodon or something if you need an online presence... Frankly I don't have a single social media account that I appreciate having. It's occasionally useful to find people on Facebook, but there's nothing really it gives me that getting someone's phone number doesn't.

I think that if you don't want to have social media, you shouldn't make it. If someone is giving you shit about it, then tell them to fuck off. You do you, Booboo.

If you insist on it, LinkedIn is barely social media since there's limited interaction. It's more of an unstated competition on who has the best resume/CV. Facebook is a bunch of people sharing updates and opinions no one cares for. Instagram is people sharing pictures no one would have asked to see.

lol. I'm on some bullshit today. Anyway, if you're going to make a profile, set a limit to how much time you are going to spend on it. That stuff is designed to keep you hooked, so it might suck you in. Keep yourself to your own boundaries.

My advice is to cancel joining.

Please don't.

OP understands the risks, and they're asking for tips on how to mitigate them if they have to make an account.

A lot of the comments here either missed or intentionally ignored the post body... Or the downvotes on the comment with a personal account saying how single women can feel safer if they can learn about a new person before meeting them.

People have different circumstances and perspectives :)

My advice for the original post:

• Joining: You don't have to join everything at once, figure out what you might need. This also depends on where you are because different platforms are popular in different places. LinkedIn is one of the few that are helpful in my area.
  • You can also start with Fediverse platforms if you prefer, but if you're trying to connect with specific people that might not help
  • An alternative getting your name published on articles or blogs to fill up the search results
• Usage: Do spring cleaning constantly. It's a big task if you try to clean your feed all at once, and it'll be easier for you to do it from the start. When you don't like something/someone, unfollow or mute. You can do it in a way that the other person won't know, if that's important. A lot of the problems of social media can be avoided if you maintain your feed.
• I'll add more if I can think of them, good luck!

I think it can help to have some presence, even if it is to control what information comes up when someone looks you up.

I have never had a social media account under my real name, apart from Linkedin, which is just there to show me for possible employers.

When I google myself, I only get results about my address and my Linkedin profile, so I do atleast exist.

As for advice about joning something like Facebook....

1. Stay away from politics.
2. Don't just "like" random stuff, be selective and only "like" stuff you really enjoy.
3. Do not engage with dickheads, people will be mean to you, block them and move on, don't engage, you can just leave.
4. Stay away from politics.
5. Never post photos of your kids/family without explicit, preferably written, consent.
6. Be open to take down any photo of a person if said person asks you to.
7. Stay away from politics.
8. Avoid posting content about vacations before and during them, bruglers have been known to use that info to know when a house probably is empty.
9. If you are a woman, please be extra careful posting images of your face online, people have and will continue to take faces of women in particular and photoshop them into porn, it is sad, but is a reality.
10. Be mentally prepared for a lot of hate, whatever you post, you will sooner or later annoy someone online, or even just come to attention of certain people, and they will swnd you hate filled messges, block them and don't engage.
11. Stay away from politics.

If anyone seriously judged me for not being on a particular website I'd have to consider their competency at managing life.

For the most part, stick to the fediverse.

• Lemmy/kbin = reddit (you are here)
• Mastodon = twitter
• Pixelfed = Instagram
• Friendica = Facebook
• Peertube = Youtube

The only standard social media account I'd recommend is linkedin, literally only because it's meant to network for jobs. Don't get me wrong, it's full of desperate corporate worship and therefore miserable to use. However, the real point is networking for career advancement and job listings

Weird how no one recommended Mastodon yet.

You can switch your profile to public and follow some nice people and hashtags, if anyone wants to check your vibe. All with you real name. It has become the good version of twitter for me and at least in europe many people are starting to use it.

I don't think anyone can give you good advice without knowing the reasons you'd rather not get in to.

I can think of various scenarios where some sort of minimal internet presence under your real name would be useful for social or employment reasons, but exactly what it is you're trying to accomplish makes a big difference in terms of what tools (including corporate platforms, federated microblogging like Mastodon, a blog, or a static website) will get you the results you want.

What's popular where you live or in your professional field matters too. For some people, not using Facebook or Linkedin specifically is unusual, but we don't have enough information to know if that's true for you.

When it comes to Facebook, Instagram, and other mainstream social media, just stay away, it's not worth it. I had Facebook, and it was just full of trash. I haven't had Instagram, but it's not very appealing either.

A LinkedIn account, however, for professional reasons is very much advised. Or Glassdoor.

Although over the recent years I saw some decline in quality on LinkedIn, as it's getting full of shit posts, but you can completely disregard what's on the feed. What you need LinkedIn for, is to build a professional profile, have your former and current coworkers in your network, and find and apply for jobs. Or even just let opportunities come to your inbox once you have an impressive profile.

The most amazing workplace I've ever had was possible thanks to LinkedIn, with almost no effort on my part. I have to say, this isn't typical though. It's only likely happening in countries where there's a labour shortage. But a recruiter (among tons of others) found me from a well known company, their opening looked good to me, so I gave it a try. After just one interview I was hired, and I didn't even have to apply for the job.

My most recent job was with a relocation to a different country. I can't even imagine how this would've been possible without LinkedIn or Glassdoor. But I achieved one of my big life goals.

A career advice I got about ten years ago: create a LinkedIn profile and always keep updating it. If you do so, you'll see it's kinda awkward to go back in time and retrospectively edit things and connect with former coworkers. But since you haven't had an account yet, I don't see any other choice for you.

As for Glassdoor, it's maybe a bit less popular than LinkedIn, but nowadays you can find opportunities there too. The best strength of Glassdoor is that you can find reviews of companies, sometimes they're also reporting their salaries so you know what to expect. In some cases, individual reviews may be misleading as they're forced by the company (which is btw against the terms of use), it can be a good indicator if you find thousands of good reviews or thousands of bad reviews.

Regarding the fediverse (Mastodon, Lemmy, Pixelfed, PeerTube, etc.), they're much better than their corporate equivalents in terms of quality, but they're not immune to misinformation either. And also not immune to the user's own stupidity. Obviously, don't share what doesn't belong there.

Edit: added notes for Glassdoor

I used to have Facebook. Dabbled with Instagram and Twitter. Don't use any of them now. Feel 10x better.

I have the same situation as you, i have zero to no online social media presence. I still relish in it, and if it's dating that you have a problem with, just own it. Don't let anyone make you think having your picture up there is gonna change a damn thing.

Why are people looking you up?

if you have no desire to 'participate' on a social media platform, but want people to still be able to 'google' you, perhaps a personal web page on your own domain. with a brief bio, your cv, and perhaps some interesting tidbits from hobbies or work projects.

It would be better to host a site.

Ignorance is bliss.

I keep my Linkedin updated, but Linkedin is BS. I hate it. Facebook I only keep for shitposting and because it's the way my husband's family keeps in touch (my husband deleted his FB years ago). Facebook is not great. Would not recommend. Honestly, most social media websites are shit and I could not recommend. Lemmy is kind of social media, and this is okay. I liked reddit too, back when I used it.

My guess is it's because potential matches ask.

As a woman, I don't find it weird, but I do find it unfortunate. It's an easy, quick way to get a better understanding on if you're who you say you are. Sure, it can be faked, but... that's more rare, and mostly easily sussed out.

I like seeing Instagram personally. Not to follow, just as a good check. But if you don't want insta, I'd suggest pixelfed. It's not a part of meta and it functions as an instagram.

LinkedIn is pretty good, for finding work. I've gotten a lot of offers there. Ultimately never took any of them, ironically, but worth the time to set up a good profile.

If you're thinking of joining Facebook... Don't. It's not worth it. Tell people you have something else and give them that info. Like your phone number or your email or your WhatsApp/telegram/whatever.

I hate how I have Facebook and am so dependent on it. I wish I could tell people I don't have it.

Don't. I don't care if this is just how the world works now, don't do it. Keep yourself.