this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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all 48 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 191 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago

Superstonk: Here's why this is good for $GME

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago

My retirement!

[–] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 88 points 8 months ago (5 children)

Lol "would world war 3 hurt my portfolio?"

[–] frunch@lemmy.world 31 points 8 months ago

"The answer may surprise you!"

[–] gnate@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

Not if you have a healthy investment in Stark Industries

[–] UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Not when you invest in the arms industry on the winning side

[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 3 points 8 months ago

Why pick a side? Invest in both!

[–] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 1 points 8 months ago

Long on LEAD

[–] ItsAFake@lemmus.org 88 points 8 months ago
[–] crystalmerchant@lemmy.world 51 points 8 months ago

Won't somebody think of the poor hedge fund managers

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 28 points 8 months ago (2 children)

World War III will be the ultimate expression of communism. After all, it will be the end of capitalism when we all go together when we go.

[–] MelodiousFunk@startrek.website 9 points 8 months ago

Is it weird, as a tail end gen x/elder millennial, to really hope Lehrer was right about this one?

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 3 points 8 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

we all go together when we go.

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 25 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Does "third world war" mean "World War III" or a (proxy) war that will happen in third world countries but money-managers in the first world will have strong interest in?

[–] taanegl@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago (3 children)

...both.

Welcome to the THIRD - WORLD - WAAARS!

*holds for applause*

Countries from the west and the east have come together with each their funds to pit third world soldiers against each other in a battle for glorious supremacy. This years games is held in Mogadishu and is sponsored by Coca Cola.

Each side gets about 15,000 soldiers and each of their countries will recieve a discount on their international debt. The outcome will decide how much dune feathers will cost per freight on the international markets the coming year.

Who will be the winner? The Eastern dune manufacturers, or western bedding corporations.

One thing is for certain, it won't be the soldiers. Grab a hold of that machete and go hack off some of that debt, boys. Maybe a new predatory loan made between the elites of the west, east and Africa will pull Africans out of extreme poverty... but if not, they could of course try again - at the next annual THIRD - WORLD - WAAAARS!

*applause*

[–] hglman@lemmy.ml 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Its title is actually "The Great War (2024)" bc nothing is original anymore.

[–] taanegl@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Of course it's a reboot.

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Will soldiers have to wear the logos of companies that sponsor them?

[–] taanegl@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Not only, but for extra sponsorship money, they have to tattoo their entire body and then sell their skin (after death of course, though not a deal breaker) so it can be sold at an online skin market.

Collect the backs of an entire platoon and decorate your rumpus room today!

[–] mynamesnotrick@lemmy.zip 3 points 8 months ago

First one then the other.

[–] FrankTheHealer@lemmy.world 23 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Headlines like this make me mad at capitalism. Like I try to be fair in my political outlook, but how can anyone see this and not feel it's beyond disgusting.

[–] bremen15@feddit.de 3 points 8 months ago

The article agrees with you, and says your portfolio will be the least of your worries.

[–] Harbinger01173430@lemmy.world 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This is getting depressing too quickly :( I always had the hope that world war three would be earth vs the solar colonies instead of just earth vs earth...

[–] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

When the protomolecule makes the Ring you’ll know it’s time for WW3.

[–] Harbinger01173430@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Is this an anime reference i am not too cultured to understand? :')

[–] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] Harbinger01173430@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Heck, I thought it was Macross and protoculture

[–] bfg9k@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The Expanse, it's a live action scifi drama

[–] aBundleOfFerrets@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago

Don’t you mean book series?

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago

I hate everything.

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 15 points 8 months ago

The average stock market growth of 7% a year includes both world wars

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago (3 children)

So which stocks should I buy during a war? Do weapons manufacturers or the manufacturing sector in general go up?

[–] XTornado@lemmy.ml 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I recommend chicken stock, though, a vegetable one would be nice too and probably cheaper.

[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

I would probably invest in general electric during a war.

[–] bremen15@feddit.de 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The article says it is quite unclear and impossible to predict

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

I am glad economists are so highly paid and trusted. They clearly deserve it. What with their firm unambiguous answers

[–] Linkerbaan@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

Military industrial complex goes brrr

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago

If I remember the last time we had it, the rich could buy their way out of it with college enrollments and fake disabilities and shit.

[–] walter_wiggles@lemmy.nz 9 points 8 months ago

The rich must fight for their economy.

[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 7 points 8 months ago

I think you forgot to paste the link.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 8 months ago

Ah yes, priorities.

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Dont people have enough real stuff to worry about?

[–] AngelJamie@lemmy.blahaj.zone -4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

...my fire

The one desire

Believe when I say

I want it that way

But we are two worlds apart

Can't reach to your heart

When you say

That I want it that way

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a mistake

Tell me why

I never wanna hear you say

I want it that way

Am I your fire?

Your one desire

Yes, I know it's too late

But I want it that way

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a mistake

Tell me why

I never wanna hear you say

I want it that way

Now I can see that we've fallen apart

From the way that it used to be, yeah

No matter the distance, I want you to know

That deep down inside of me

You are my fire

The one desire

You are (you are, you are, you are)

Don't wanna hear you say

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Ain't nothin' but a mistake (don't wanna hear you say)

I never wanna hear you say (oh, yeah)

I want it that way

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a mistake

Tell me why

I never wanna hear you say (don't wanna hear you say)

I want it that way

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Ain't nothin' but a mistake

Tell me why

I never wanna hear you say (don't wanna hear you say)

I want it that way

'Cause I want it that way