this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2024
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cats

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[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 135 points 2 years ago (2 children)

My experience has been more like

"As a cat I am no one's... Hey, where are you going with the food? Hey, hey! HEY! I AM YOUR CAT! I AM YOUR CAT!"

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 35 points 2 years ago

“I wouldn’t say you own me, but it is cold in here and your lap is warm, so maybe I own your lap”.

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 8 points 1 year ago

More like "give me food servant!"

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 82 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Unless it's within two hours in either direction of the cats feeding time, in which case "I wuv u, have u noticed ur poor kitty is starving and the food bowl is empty? Here let me get all up in your face in case you've forgotten about me..."

[–] evatronic@lemm.ee 43 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Also, hey hello, now look at my butthole.

[–] Icalasari@kbin.social 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Apparently that's due to their mothers licking the buttholes to clean them when they were little

So they are going, "You're my parent now, get to cleaning"

[–] evatronic@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

TIL: I have a perpetually disappointed cat.

[–] GentlemanLoser@ttrpg.network 3 points 2 years ago

Hey that cat is from Ohio

[–] Cheskaz@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

My cat rarely bothers us about food. But if we've not played with him, or toured the (exterior, communal building) hallway in the last few hours...he doth scream.

And I'm pretty sure he uses his abs when meowing because the boi can project!

[–] Snowpix@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Meanwhile their bowl has plenty of food in it, but because the bottom is visible, the rest no longer exists

[–] joby@programming.dev 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I've heard that the issue for some cats isn't that they can see the bottom, but that their whiskers hit the side of the bowl and that's uncomfortable.

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Yeah you're supposed to put their food on plates, that's also why they often won't drink from water bowls, hence the market for little fountains for them to drink from.

Cats would literally rather die than rub their whiskers against something. I can almost relate.

[–] Zehzin@lemmy.world 34 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

People often describe their cats as Hannibal Lecter, mine is just a dumb idiot creature baby

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

most cats i meet are just chill dogs who require a polite greeting before loving you

"oh, a random human? hm yes okay you're nice, oh you want to pick me up? PURRRRRRR"

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

And a polite greeting is pretty simple. I just offer my hand limp and palm down for a sniff. If you get a nuzzle then it's petting time, baby.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

blessed be the jackson galaxy, teaching us to greet cats like adam greeted god

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago

Huh, I actually didn't know this was a thing, I just noticed that it works.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago

Cats are the original sovereign citizens.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I have a black kitten who LOVES belly rubs. He’s so weird.

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 36 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I don't think I've known a cat that didn't like their belly rubbed.

I think it's just a trust thing. Cat ain't going to like their belly rubbed if they don't trust you.

[–] JohnEdwa@sopuli.xyz 23 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

And the only cat I've known "not to like" belly rubs absolutely loves them, but he will also try to claw and bite the shit out of your hand while you do, which is why you use an oven mitt while giving them.
Like, he will literally try to bring you that oven mitt and roll over for you in anticipation.

Or maybe he just likes murder.

It's a cat the boundary between games and casual murder is very thin!

[–] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My kittens would grab on to you and bite your hand (not hard enough to injure you) if you pet their belly. I used to dust the floor with them when they would do it to me.

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah a kitten is going to think that means play time. Sometimes just walking into the room will make them think it's play time.

[–] tygerprints@kbin.social 18 points 2 years ago

I'm only a cat, so I'll stay in my place. Up here on your chair or in bed on your face.

[–] GombeenSysadmin@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ah fuck my cats call me Vivian, don’t they.

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 years ago

Come now, Vivian, don't be like that.

licks arsehole

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Magnetar@feddit.de 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Cats and I very truly agree!

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

You don't own a cat. The cat owns you.

[–] Surreal@programming.dev 6 points 1 year ago

Whose human am I?