Ok so either I'm having a manic episode or the brain fog I've lived with my entire life is kinda lifting about 3 months into HRT? Honestly I feel like I can actually engage with my work and not barely tread water, and I have actual confidence? I'm not even out at work. It's kinda something I never thought would happen but it seems to be happening??!?

I'm getting my face lasered tomorrow

I need to actually learn how to do eye shadow instead of saying I will every few months

I'm coming to the realization that I have no idea how to dress myself.

Hung out with one of my partners tonight. Found out they've been exploring some gender stuff a bit but insist "I don't have dysphoria so I'm not trans." Which, not how that works, but fair, you don't have to be trans to play with gender. Then I start thinking back through our relationship and I'm like "oh, this is all textbook trans shit... How did I not realize this earlier?!"

And now I'm just like, I guess I gotta pretend I don't know what's going on here for however long while they figure stuff out when all I wanna do is laugh maniacally and be like "WELCOME TO THE CLUB"

Of course I would never do that. But like, come on.

My usual for these threads

IDK if anyone is ~~doom scrolling~~ Following the Nex Benedict case as closely as I am, but earlier today, the preliminary police autopsy allegedly found that Nex's death was not caused by the head trauma they received the day prior, during the incident where they were beaten.

Now I'm not a medical professional, so I could be really off base here, but.... That sounds like a load of shit to me. What else could it have been?

The past couple of days it's felt like my brain was in a pinball machine, rapidly bouncing between "I want nothing more than to unalive myself right now" and "wow I haven't felt this good in a while".

i started playing final fantasy 14, and i wanted to add a mod so my character would have top surgery scars. but i couldn't find any mods for editting the vanilla body texture to have that, so i basically had to download 2 gb worth of mods just for top surgery scars.

but i mean it worked so i guess it's fine

Hiii, everyone how are you all doing. Hopefully well!!! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

Trans Rescue seems to be looking for people to help make adverts

If you have some spare time over the next 6 weeks and have #voiceacting, #audio editing, #video editing, video production, #illustration, #3D graphics, writing, or similar skills and would be up for helping us help #trans Americans, please drop us a line at annie@transrescue.org We're hoping to produce a lot of content over the next few months.

Plz use the link or comment to bump this. I'm not affiliated with them and can't answer questions.

I'm switching to weekly injections. Please send help.

Tw: Death/Doomerism

The murder of Nex Benedict is really getting to me. It's really caused me to reckon with all the compartmentalizing I've done for all trans death for so long. Like I've said "their death is tragic but we're dying to create a better world for the future". But Nex's death doesn't do that, their death is going to drive more young people to stay in the closet, and the way the authorities are handling it, it feels like that's the point. Im beginning to lose hope for a better future. I know that's how they win but they are factually winning. Idk, just venting. I can't stop crying all the time.

My hormone-doctor meeting was delayed till the middle of march. Very unhappy that this is the case, but happy that I have such clear feelings about it.

I have talked with a local transwoman about hormones and she recommended hormone patches(need to be exchanged every 3.5 days). She said that they go directly into the bloodstream, as opposed to pills, and are less of a bother than injections. They are also paid by insurance here(injections are not) I never see them talked about online, are they uncommon in the anglophone world?

My mother has been proposing female names for me, now that I am out to her. It's appreciated, I am still hesitant to commit to one.

Thinking about how my voice training would/will go. My current voice varies so much based on situation, comfort, even topic and I do funny voices/impressions on the regular. I guess maybe that should make it easier/more familiar? But it still seems so daunting and impossible to arrive at something I'd consider natural and fitting for me

Sure hope this vendor reaches out to me about shipping my meds soon. This is slightly longer than she has taken to get me tracking in the past, so clearly I should catastrophize things.

I got a lot of new clothes come in today. Put it on and I think it's a great look, but I'm not so confident in my body shape as of yet. I'll just need to get over it at some point.

Yk I thought the "programming socks" were just a meme, but no, I got the best grade in my sector without studying and without paying attention in lectures tf.

ugggh

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I’m considering that I may be genderfluid. I have days where being more masculine seems fine and that would historically make me panic about not actually being trans. But maybe I can just roll with that and know that the feminine days will return.

Wore a bralette outside the house for the first time today (I've only been on HRT for 2 months, I definitely don't need it just like how it looks/feels). When I bent over and could see a bit of it under my blouse it felt so incredible. Time to wear one all the time