im gonna be a tutorial NPC who makes you run his errands under the guise of teaching you something useful
this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2024
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Absolute garbage generic side quest/fetch quest giver. Something totally moronic.
Oh you're the HERO? Could you help me collect 5 APPLES?
But I wouldn't actually accept the apples they already have in their inventory. They'd have to go get 5 APPLES. From trees. And there'd only be 4 apples on trees near me. And I'd only reward them with half the market price of 5 APPLES.
And this would be a more western RPG than JRPG one but the town guard who can inexplicably smoke you in combat or stop you because I trigger an unskippable dialogue when you do something bad, but is also woefully unprepared when plot happens and dies unceremoniously.
To be fair, enemies have weapons of +10 vs NPCs; you'd think it was dumb but given there's more NPCs in the world than there are PCs it's actually money well spent, especially as they still manage to kill players a fair number of times.
Or maybe a shitty escort quest giver.
OOH Ooh or "crazy conspiracy hobo" that is shunned by the townspeople because actually I'm the only plot-irrelevant character who actually sees through The Veil and gives the hero some minor skill boost.
I would live in a box in the alley in the bad part of town but my spirit world house would be an impenetrable sanctuary where the player can use my bed to rest and have a chest for storage.
ITT people who think they'd become important if they were rpg NPCs
nobody said who would you be, you asked who we'd wanna be
I'd be a Moogle that you deliever messages for and helps you save your game, kupo!
You're my favourite NPC, kupo!
One of the dev stand-ins tucked away in some backroom where, even in their wildest fantasies, they can only imagine themselves at an office job.
I'm the one that turns up periodically to explain the story and tell the protagonist where to go next.
And before you ask, no, Kaepora Gaebora wasn't me, but I do know the guy. Nice chap, but prone to repeating himself.
Damn, none of you picked the best answer to this question. 
I trade you 3 mushrooms for a pear. No dialogue. Found dead after the cataclysm to make the event seem more devastating while not killing off too many actually important characters.
that one shopkeeper in small irrelevant town that never sells anything the player might ever want
Cheese damage type axe? Health potion that restores 5% of your max health? Utility item that you have 85 of already? We got it all!
Flavour NPC in the starter town who has, like, 1 line of repeating dialogue.
If I'm lucky, I'll turn up later to do the same line as part of a running gag. If I'm unlucky, I'll be obliterated when the protagonist's hometown gets wrecked for cheap pathos at the end of the tutorial.
I'd be the NPC who gives a long, arduous and yet actually fascinating quest line but I'm bugged so you can't finish the quest, and the company stopped putting money into the game so it's never getting fixed, and you'll never know how this quest line ends, but the info for the end of it exists in the code, meaning I know how it ends I'm just not telling you.
I'd be an NPC in Like a Dragon who starts a substory and has all of their life problems solved by Ichiban Kasuga within 15 minutes.