this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
605 points (97.3% liked)

Not The Onion

12308 readers
201 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] CompostMaterial@lemmy.world 228 points 7 months ago

Oh, buddy. Everyone laughs at you all the time. That time was just to you face.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 146 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"What, they’re going to start seizing assets if he can’t put up something that’s not available in the United States?"

Yup.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ah, this comment hurts in hindsight

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 4 points 7 months ago

Everything hurts.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 117 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

One of the most ridiculous false pretenses Trump tries to maintain is that he can only pay with a single, $454M bond, and since he can’t get one that large, he should, obviously, just be forgiven the amount entirely and let off the hook.

What he doesn’t want anyone to know is that, obviously, he could just get several smaller bonds for, say, $50M or $75M or $100M until it added up to the $454M or however much he needs to post for the appeal. In fact, he even tried to offer a $100 bond before, but used it instead in the E Jean Carrol appeal.

[–] Echinoderm@aussie.zone 43 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Possibly he knows that, and is just trying to bleed his supporters for donations until the last moment.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 20 points 7 months ago

He definitely knows that

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 26 points 7 months ago (2 children)

We gotta teach the trump's how to count? No wonder they committed extensive fraud for decades.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 14 points 7 months ago

He knows how to count up to 11,780

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Like literally chubb dogded a bullet lending this money earlier rather than having to be available for the next big payout. If you ask me is a small price to pay for salvation

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

They still loaned him a fuck ton of money that they sure won’t ever see again. So I don’t know how they dodged a bullet.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 32 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Chubb did a fully collateralized bond. Meaning they got something of actual value, not just trump's word. In this case a Schawb brokerage account full of stocks and bonds for (I believe) more than the value of the bond. Plus Chubb probably added a fee on top of the value of the bond to service the transaction. When trump loses the E Jean Carroll appeal, Chubb will hand over cash and sell off the assets in the Schawb account and pocket their service fee.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Why would they do it this way instead of just directly selling what's in the account? I get that it takes time to unwind stuff like that, but surely it can be done in the time the judge gave?

[–] obviouspornalt@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Taxes. If by some stroke of miracle he wins the appeal, he won't have to pay capital gains taxes that he otherwise would have had to pay if the portfolio was liquidated.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

This. And to put numbers on it, long term cap gains taxes (for things in the account held for 2 years or more) is 20%. For short term (things in the account owned for less that 2 years) it can be as 37%. So if the account is just used as collateral, and Chubb charged a fee of less than 20% then the bond is a cheaper way to get the money for the appeal.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 87 points 7 months ago (1 children)

They should consider committing less crimes.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago (3 children)
[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 49 points 7 months ago

They should consider committing less crimes fewer.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Why not both? Fewer and lesser crimes. I’ll have one count of jay-walking please

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Bogus charge to criminalize walking and make the pedestrian the bad guy in accidents.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 78 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Meanwhile, Daddy was bragging on truth social that he had $500 million in cash a couple days ago

[–] sYnoxjj@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Wait. Hasn't he a gofoundme going? If he is bragging about having the money already, what does he need the donations for. 🤔

But what do i know.. I'm just a dumb European and the conservative Americans are so much smarter then me. They'll def are correct in further donating for Don Poorleon. 👍

[–] slurpeesoforion@startrek.website 10 points 7 months ago
  • He claims he has half a billion in liquid cash.
  • He has a donate to his legal expense portal.
  • He's attempting to borrow from anyone dumb enough to lend to him.
  • He's using the RNC as a personal piggy bank.

Some of these may overlap. And borrowing to pay expenses while using the interest as a tax deduction is a long utilized tool of the rich. But his real assets are intended to act as collateral on these loans.

With outstanding loan debt, judgments that can seize his assets, and mounting other leaks in his financing, this is his margin call on all the bad bets he's made. Including betting on himself.

He thinks that simply having his name on something means it's his to do as he please. But when the government and the banks start calling, it's his ass.

[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 71 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

No, Eric, they want to avoid losing $454,000,000.00.

Edit: almost have him an excuse to save money.

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Thank you! I actually dropped three of the fuckers ‘cause I wanted all the zeroes possible to display because he owes that many zeroes.

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 6 points 7 months ago
[–] hypnotoad__@lemmy.ml 70 points 7 months ago

My feelings! They LAUGHED at me, those big meanies!

Fuckin snowflakes

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 63 points 7 months ago (1 children)

they only laughed because you were serious

[–] IvanOverdrive@lemm.ee 58 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Oh god I'm edging so hard my dick could cut diamonds.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 63 points 7 months ago

Sir, this is a Wendys.

[–] sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 53 points 7 months ago (3 children)

This is their big play? It doesn't need to be one bond. I read that those companies have a $100 million limit on bonds. Trump needs to put up several bonds. Or just use his yuge pile of cash he says he has. Or hell, double down on the lies and lose his holdings.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 40 points 7 months ago

It's Eric trump...

He probably legitimately doesn't know that, and the phone calls probably only get to:

Who is this?

Iiiiiiiit's Errrrrric!

Before the laughter starts

[–] protist@mander.xyz 17 points 7 months ago

Pretty sure James also already made it known he can post some of his properties directly to the court as collateral, skipping a 3rd party bond agency, but sounds like he wouldn't be able to do that if he has liens against them all, which he probably does.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] sirico@feddit.uk 37 points 7 months ago

Snap back to reality, ope, there goes gravity

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 36 points 7 months ago (2 children)

don't worry, a judge just ruled that Don is a special boy and doesn't have to follow the same laws as everyone else so he doesn't need to put up the whole bond.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You're fucking kidding me.

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/25/nyregion/trump-bond-reduced.html

He's God's Most Special Guy, so he gets yet another exception to the law. Courts have ruled that he has to put up less than half of what would be required of anyone else.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago

Fucking fuck. Heartbreakingly shitty country.

[–] OhmsLawn@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Yeah, they weren't laughing at him, they were laughing with him.

Edit: that's very much /s.

Absolute horseshit.

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 33 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Eriks always laughed at tho...how can he tell it's about loans this time???

[–] mojo_raisin@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

his penis wasn't out

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Jaysyn@kbin.social 32 points 7 months ago

Trump can't do shit, he's leveraged to the hilt & his name is poison now.

[–] bmsok@lemmy.world 26 points 7 months ago

They decided ERIC was the best one to spin this?

[–] finthechat@kbin.social 18 points 7 months ago

It's normal to laugh at clowns

[–] Coldgoron@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago
[–] TheJims@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Shouldn’t he be used to being laughed at? Has he ever seen Saturday night live?

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 7 months ago

He's never seen it,, 'cause SNL comes on after his bed time.

load more comments
view more: next ›