this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2024
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You know, like "always split on 18," or "having kids is the most rewarding thing you can do in life."

What's that one bit of advice you got from a trusted friend that you know deep, deep down would just ruin your thing?

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[–] De_Narm@lemmy.world 183 points 7 months ago (8 children)

"Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life."

or

"Do what you're passionate about."

Just no. Most things I like don't pay well and I started to resent the others while doing them professionally. Turning your hobby into your job is like setting your favorite song as your alarm. That's my experience at least.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 69 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Turning your hobby into your job is like setting your favorite song as your alarm.

That’s an excellent analogy, I’m going to steal it

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago

I used to love computers and technology. Now I get an idea about something I want to do, regurgitate a bit, shudder, and quickly throw that idea on the shelf.

I can’t even stand looking at the inside of a computer these days. It was 3/4 of my personality when I was younger.

That analogy is perfect.

[–] Weirdfish@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I love my job, I really do, but I wouldn't do it as a hobby. I don't think it's so much advice about making your hobbies a career, as it is about finding work you enjoy.

Video games, skateboarding, riding a motorcycle, all things I love, but no way I'd try to make a living at any of them.

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[–] Maestro@fedia.io 16 points 7 months ago

It depends, really. I turned my hobby into a profession and I am mostly happy. I lost a hobby, absolutely. I don't practice my craft much anymore outside of work, but I do have a job I really like. And I found new hobbies over the years. But yes, I did loose a hobby.

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[–] xkforce@lemmy.world 137 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (6 children)

"Just be yourself"

Ask any neurodivergent person how that goes.

We mask because we are often punished for being ourselves most of the time.

[–] NikkiNikkiNikki@kbin.social 23 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Can relate, when I start infodumping or talking in depth about stuff I enjoy I can see their eyes glaze over and they want to leave.

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[–] Silentiea@lemm.ee 18 points 7 months ago

As a religious trans person, it's deeply insulting how many anti-trans religious authorities say things like "don't let the world tell you who you are, trust in the voice of God in your own heart" or something, and then go all surprised Pikachu when I'm still trans afterwards.

[–] ChaosCoati@midwest.social 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

See also: “Just do (whatever task you’re struggling with).”

As if it’s as easy as that for everyone.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 116 points 7 months ago (9 children)

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

No it doesn't. In most cases, you're now weaker.

[–] xkforce@lemmy.world 42 points 7 months ago

What doesnt kill you now may still be a contributing factor later down the road.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 25 points 7 months ago

Right?! What doesn't kill you may almost kill you.

[–] CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

What doesn’t kill you mutates and tries again.

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[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 112 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Always give 110%, and one day your boss will notice and give you the promotion you deserve.

[–] Garbanzo@lemmy.world 65 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

20% of your effort produces 80% of your results, so giving 40% effort at work should be plenty. Don't even half ass it.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 55 points 7 months ago

Professionals are consistent and businesses are risk averse. It’s easier and more valued to be reliable. Learning to do enough is an important skill.

[–] xkforce@lemmy.world 27 points 7 months ago

A lot of the advice in this thread is situationally good but this... is essentially universally bad advice.

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[–] nick@midwest.social 103 points 7 months ago (3 children)

“Bring your authentic self to work”

Was pretty prevalent in tech for a while. Fuck no I’m not doing that.

[–] YaksDC@lemm.ee 48 points 7 months ago (4 children)

I have worked in the same office for 22 years, no one knows my birthday, what my hobbies are or where I live other than "downtown". There is work me and then the real me and never the twain shall meet.

[–] Jasonw911@lemmy.world 25 points 7 months ago (6 children)

You sound like me. Do you want to not hang out sometime?

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[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 33 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This is sadly very true. Keep most of your coworkers, especially bosses, on a low information diet. It's like dealing with the police. Some of them will try to use anything you say against you in the court of HR.

This is not to say you can't make any friends at work. Just be very careful in who you pick. Make sure the person is trustworthy (and you know as much about them as they know about you).

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[–] snooggums@midwest.social 64 points 7 months ago (10 children)

If you don't succeed, try and try again.

It leaves out the steps where you figure out why you think you failed the first time so trying again with a different approach has a chance of success instead of just failing over and over again.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (9 children)

There’s also a good quote about repeating the same thing over and over again being the definition of insanity. Some platitudes are useful

Edit: repeating the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Attributed to Einstein, but who knows

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[–] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.de 59 points 7 months ago (2 children)

"Der klügere gibt nach" which directly translates to "the wiser one gives in" or more or less matches the idiom "it's better to bend than to break".

Growing up I heard this a lot and it's mostly use to silence those who have (well-founded) objections. Took me a while to realize that this leads to us following the stupid because they don't give in which subsequently makes the wise one the stupid one.

[–] Nomad@infosec.pub 27 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

The Idiom is regularly abused and misunderstood. Its about being smart what fights are worth fighting. Often heard by kids from their Patents when they fight over "nothing"

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[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 52 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"Never give up".

Sometimes you're wasting your time and should give up. Better advice would be "decide how much you're willing to give to this before you start".

[–] LoganNineFingers@lemmy.ca 19 points 7 months ago

Also see: sunk cost fallacy

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 47 points 7 months ago (6 children)

"All kids think they are smarter than their parents." - my father, constantly growing up

What I learned: Never tell anyone else how to think or feel about anything. Anyone that tries to shape your thinking directly is a fool.

Intelligence is like beauty, we don't have a very good frame of reference to perceive ourselves. Physical beauty is largely measured by the reactions of others. Like beauty, intelligence has many facets. However my favorite measuring stick is curiosity. This is how I overcame my father's admonition; while curiosity does not guarantee intelligence, an intelligent person is always curious.

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[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 44 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Just be yourself.

There is a reason people hide who they really are until you get to know them.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 20 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Just be yourself! Eww, not like that!

[–] frezik@midwest.social 39 points 7 months ago (4 children)

"Ground yourself to be safe with electricity".

Some people out there seem to treat grounding as a magical means for controlling electricity. Even in so far as it's true at all, you have to consider the situation and how it might move across your body.

Telling a teenager "enjoy these years, they're the best ones of your life".

First, tell that to a teenager undergoing severe depression is the opposite of helpful. Second, you just admitted to leading a shitty life. You got to 20 and the next 50 years were garbage?

[–] MIDItheKID@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago

Enjoy all of your years. I feel like each decade of my life has had amazing parts, and also shitty parts. They have all been objectively different though. Try to focus on the amazing parts and enjoy them, but also make sure to learn from the shitty parts.

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[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 30 points 7 months ago

All those who say [insert random hardship here] "builds character". It's not uncommon for me to respond with "what's in it for me?"

[–] dutchkimble@lemy.lol 28 points 7 months ago (1 children)
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[–] maxenmajs@lemmy.world 28 points 7 months ago (2 children)

"be yourself" doesn't work if your natural self is bad.

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You mean the person that got me into this mess in the first place?

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[–] Today@lemmy.world 27 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Anything about god taking you to and through things, or prayer. How's that working for Ukraine or Gaza or a ton of other places with war, famine, violence, trafficking, etc.? Also, anything that refers to "fighting" cancer or other diseases - too bad your person is gone because they didn't fight harder.

[–] xkforce@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

This reminds me of this story about the concentration camps. "If there is a god they will have to beg for our forgiveness"

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[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 24 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The Venn diagram for "advice" and "bad advice" is almost a perfect circle. In general, advice is only good if three conditions are met:

  1. it was requested or at least clearly implied to be welcome.
  2. it's given under a solid grasp of the situation, or after some serious thought.
  3. it's not assumptive in nature. And, if generalising, it takes into account that generalisations fail.

Those sayings - like in the OP - almost always violate #2 and #3. And usually #1, as it's that sort of thing that people vomit on your face when they're really, really eager to treat you like cattle to be herded.


Okay... example. Right. Acquaintance of mine saying that I should work with computers - because I use Linux, because I can recover a password, because I can spend ten minutes (I'm not exaggerating) trying to parse what he's asking help with. Under that "if u like it than make it you're job! lol" approach.

Yeah... nah.

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[–] pdxfed@lemmy.world 23 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (11 children)

Neither of these is dead wrong but were rules of thumb that oversimplify changing and complex issues in the US:

"stay away from credit cards" - often prevents people from actually learning about how underlying mechanisms of loans, interest, credit ratings, and budgeting work. There are definitely people incapable of having access to credit and not spending it, so the saying may be true for a subset but if you always pay your bill in full on time and just use autopay so you don't forget, you're leaving 1-5% annual rebate for almost all your spend on the table. If you play credit card churning games, much more.

"The only things worth going into debt for are a home and education." - while accurate in the US for decades, the applicability or even accuracy of this statement is now dubious depending on many factors: career field and interests for education; interest rates, geography and housing prices for homes.

[–] Maestro@fedia.io 23 points 7 months ago (6 children)

The entire "credit rating" system is totally insane and dystopian for people outside the US. Where I am from, we only ever register bad credit, not good credit. If you want to buy a house and need to get a mortgage they can ask for your credit rating. But that only shows how much your current obligations to other creditors are, and whether you have had trouble paying them. And you only cartain obligations are allowed to be shown on such a report.

In my country, someone with no credit card history whatsoever is in a better position to get a mortgage than someone who has a credit card and pays it off every month. The fact that the US is the reverse is just mad.

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[–] SorteKanin@feddit.dk 19 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I'd say most of single-sentence advice falls under "dubious" advice, as it really lacks any kind of nuance. It can be a guideline and perhaps words to live by, but it will rarely help in concrete situations where more specific context should be considered.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 22 points 7 months ago

My mum always used to say "Everything works out in the end" or something else equally trite until the day I snapped "Yeah thats why theres a suicide help line, because everything always works out in the end for everybody."

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[–] ___@lemm.ee 18 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Most chess advice. It teaches you to think in simple terms without actually thinking about a position. It’s good if you want to get passably good, but it’s a handicap once you improve.

[–] cucumber_sandwich@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

That applies to most fields, doesn't it? Any heuristic will be a simplification and becoming an expert in any domain involves knowing when you can apply a heuristic or approximation or model and when you cannot.

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[–] NegentropicBoy@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago (3 children)

"Look before you leap" vs "He who hesitates is lost"

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[–] Nemo@midwest.social 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"If you ain't doin' shots get the fuck out the club"

[–] Garbanzo@lemmy.world 32 points 7 months ago

get the fuck out the club

That's legit good advice

[–] madcaesar@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

Most one sentance advice is just a deepity

Generally, a deepity has (at least) two meanings: one that is true but trivial, and another that sounds profound, but is essentially false or meaningless and would be "earth-shattering" if true. To the extent that it's true, it doesn't have to matter. To the extent that it has to matter, it isn't true (if it actually means anything). This second meaning has also been called "pseudo-profound bullshit".

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