If you come in here to be unnecessarily hostile to the OP and claim he deserves to suffer because he's struggling, I will ban your ass. I'm very disappointed.
this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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what if you deserve to suffer ~/j~
No one here but me decides who deserves to suffer. 
What if life is suffering?
insert pic of sicko Schopenhauer going ´hahaha, yes’ here
If I wanted to describe what Marx's "alienation" was to someone I would show them this post.
This fits a general definition of alienation, but Marx was focused on alienation generated from capitalist production
We're well past production alienation and into complete and total societal and communal alienation as a result of "there is no society" ideology and total atomisation.
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too crazy for boys' town, too much of a boy for crazy town
I think you are thinking of yourself as being static and unchanging relative to this new turn. You have changed and you will keep changing. If communism is what you believe in, then there's nothing stopping you from making yourself into more of a communist.
Thanks for the reminder, you're definitely right
A lot of these changes have come within the last 1-3 years and I'm pretty used to making new circles of friends, advancing to new stages of my life, etc. within a year but my current changes might just take me longer
no more half measures walter
Capitalism as a system wants all of us to feel this way. It wants us alienated from one another, atomized, and convinced that any attempt to find community and solidarity is impossible. Don't listen to it. The fact that so many people in this thread are commenting some variation of "damn, I really feel this" exposes this feeling for the corrosive lie it is. Maybe you haven't found your community yet, but don't let capitalism grind you down and make you start thinking you have no community. Keep at it, comrade. You will get there, and you are worth it.
What is "stereotypical autistic culture" lol?
Also I don't get any of the replies to you in this thread. People seem unnecessarily hostile but maybe they're just being facetious? I have no idea.
Hobbies where autistic people are extremely overrepresented and hobbies common for autistic people
TTRPG, video games, furry, etc.
I can guarantee there's asd people on every kind of subject though. Just find those people in the hobby you're interested in and you'll have a good sync.
There’s millions of people just like you.
I dunno if there were millions of well off western communists I think communism as an ideology would be in a better place. Rich people discovering communism is pretty fucking rare in my experience and historically speaking.
There's a ton of us petite bourgeois communists, but we don't always do the best things for the movement.
Are there even millions of Western communists at all haha?
American communist party membership is like what, 10-30k right now? And like half of that are Trots?
People who don't organize, while still cool, unfortunately don't count since we're talking about the progress of communism
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A million odd, discarded puzzle pieces that don’t fit with anyone ´normal’ or even each other.
What is a "liberal" personality?
I think I mostly mean hobbies and interests that are commonly seen in communists vs seen in liberals
Examples being: I'm somewhat intrigued by designer fashion, enjoy occasionally indulging in lavish consumerism (fine dining, expensive experiences, etc.), enjoy some superficial shit like certain holidays (Valentine's, Christmas, etc.), enjoy making myself look as attractive as possible to the point of vanity, etc.
However, I'm not particularly interested in a sustainable/environmentally friendly lifestyle (I'm not wasteful and I do try to reduce my footprint, just never at significant expense of my comfort or effort), not vegan, not interested/participating in any social justice beyond just "generic" communist/workplace labor/anti-war organizing, talking about any sort of politics IRL (lol), etc.
It's a little hard to grasp myself but I think a somewhat good way to describe it is that because of my upbringing and past efforts to fit in with the people I've grown up with, I'm pretty much just your typical "upper middle" class corporate liberal (and that culture is extremely cishet, patriarchal, allistic, neurotypical, and white) in all ways except I understand class theory, I'm radicalized af, I'm not bigoted, and I organize in a communist party
I can see how having upper middle class interests would isolate you from other communist, its probably not possible for them to share your interests because they are beyond their financial means, but maybe you could try to find a new interest that you could have in common with the communists you come in contact with
Yea, I've been trying but it's a little bit difficult because of the chicken egg situation
I only have well off friends -> end up doing stuff that mostly well off people enjoy
And to befriend non well off people I need to be interested in stuff that non well off people do and enjoy, but that's also infinitely easier when I can hang out and fit in with non well off people
And to befriend non well off people I need to be interested in stuff that non well off people do and enjoy, but that's also infinitely easier when I can hang out and fit in with non well off people
Can't you hang out with fellow party members? When I was in a party we hung out fairly regularly after meetings and such.
I do a lot but hanging out is a lot different than being close friends
Maybe invite some of them to hang out in private? Maybe treat them to some of the bougie shit you enjoy? I didn't meet many communists that were inherently against eating or drinking nice stuff, most just can't really afford it.
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I do enjoy the finer things in life as well. However, I still advocate for the balkanization and demilitarization of the USA. When you say you don't 'fit in' with other people, do you mean in terms of making friends or acquaintances?
Not judging but maybe its a "you" problem ? Like I have a friend that I would consider an average progressive / socdem. I think all billionaires should be shot ... he doesnt think so. That doesnt stop us from being friends though.
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Me when the queer space is too white: 
Me when the black space is too cishet:
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"one of us, one of us, one of us"
Why does this sound like it could be written by me (communist online but liberal irl because I’m deeply afraid of losing my comfort)
I've felt very similarly to you in the past tbh, I was usually able to handle it by just burying myself in my education in a field I felt was worthwhile. If you don't have that option (not saying it wasn't just delaying the problem) then perhaps you might have to develop the skill that is being your own friend.
It's not a solution, but neither is wishing to go back to a time before you came to recognize the cruelty of the system you live in. But being able to amuse yourself with your own weirdness was really useful to me, and I think it made people like me more (though I could just be imagining it.)
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A) I too am lonely as fuck these last few years
B) The phrasing of your post made me think of this
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damn i really feel this
Get into birding. See if there’s an improv scene nearby. Do you have a micro cinema with really original programming? Board game store with a good community?
I identify with a lot of this. I feel pretty isolated in conversations with people, at work, with family, with friends and acquaintances. I cope by listening much and saying little... which...doesn't help with feeling isolated... but... someone will surprise you. I think there's cool people everywhere, it's just hard to tell at a glance. People often say horrible things without meaning to, or without realizing they're horrible. It sucks, I want people to be nice to one another, to think before talking, to care about even the strangers around them. At work, when I talk it's mostly qualify the shit my co-works say unthinkingly in front of customers and each-other. I don't wanna be the conversation police. But I also don't want to foster a hostile environment. It's maddening.
But... sometimes you notice the person who also notices the horrible things being said. Sometimes they notice you putting out fires before they catch and spread. Some people smell the smoke that was almost there. Silver lining stuff is usually hokey "stop feeling bad, it's bad to feel bad" shit. I feel like shit so much and I just keep it to myself cus I worry it'll just make things that much worse if I let it out. But... I'd rather recognize horrible things being said. Sometimes you find someone who recognizes it too. Then you go and drink and complain with them and maybe it feels better?? I hope??? I don't know, I'm still working on it....
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