this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Sheltr@lemm.ee 45 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Multi-shot upgrade. Get slingshot. Shoot $100 bill with my slingshot. Fires double the amount of money. πŸ’° profit? πŸ“ˆπŸ’Έ

[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 20 points 6 months ago

You could also put on one man bukkake shows

[–] Cosmos7349@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Considering the serial and things would be the same, this is basically just a high-quality counterfeit, ya?

[–] DannyBoy@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

i'd have to go find some and I've got this printer ink right here

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

Cocaine. Or CPUs.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 months ago

Oh wow! That shit is more valuable than unicorn blood.

That's a good one!

[–] SingularEye@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Hedlosa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well by that username we all know what you picked :3

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My vision's never been great, so I'll gamble on looking like Obama being more literal than sharing his physical appearance.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That's a great bet to make! I'd personally pick big onion. It intrigues me.

[–] esc27@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Probably turns you into Shrek

[–] Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Backflips. Never been the least bit athletic aside from my lifting strength and endurance. Just to surprise the everliving hell out of my friends and then never do so again without ever offering an explanation.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (4 children)

What if losing the ability means breaking your neck on the last try?

[–] DannyBoy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

A few is more than two. You could safely do two flips and leave it at that, which would still be pretty cool.

Would only serve to further shock his friends!

[–] Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Well obviously not gunna break my neck... But one solid backflip would be enough to gaslight my friends.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Old Ones Awaken Awaken Awaken Awaken, take the life that must be taken!

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Look, there was no way we could know it would summon a Lake Troll

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

We don't serve people who summon lake trolls here!

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago
[–] JackRiddle@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Green green green green I fucking love the great old ones I want my sanity to abandon me and to laugh and scream and learn new ways to hurt eachother

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

No you misunderstand, that pill just makes a loud noise go off in a retirement home.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Brown pill so that I can force any set to be compact and make math like 69% easier.

[–] june@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Backflip.

I imagine that means my body won’t hurt and I’ll have the athleticism to do a few backflips until I’ve done them. If I don’t do them, then my body is just suddenly healthy and pain free.

At 40, I’ll take that shit.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No, that's literally the only exercise you can do. Your body is absolutely optimizer to do 3 backflips and nothing else.

[–] june@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

To be able to pick up a cup of coffee.

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[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

What is multi-shot upgrade do?

[–] Maven@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)
[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It's pronounced "MUL-MUL-MUL-MULTISHOT!"

[–] HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone 6 points 6 months ago

Ooooh, nice, I'm always game for more multishot. I've got too much base damage bonus, I need more multipliers on my build.

[–] ericbomb@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

Obama as now, or at the same age as me?

30 YO Obama looked amazing.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 months ago

Nobody picked the pink pill?

🩷Pizza time is already broken and I can do so much damage in a minute!🩷

[–] quinkin@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Tell me more about this big onion. Do I get a big onion or become a big onion?

I don't know. I picked it but it hasn't yet arrived.

[–] user1234@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Do I get to pick the team for the baseball caps?

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago

Cool! I like plain caps. Would they vary in color every time?

Do I get to be as tall as Obama?

[–] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Compact please

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 months ago
[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Don't blame me, I voted for Megatron.

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