I can't find a link for it but I remember an article where they got a dishevelled, homeless looking man to go into restaurants and ask for leftover food. He was rudely turned away every time. Then they got a man dressed in a smart, expensive business suit to go into the same restaurants and ask for free food (saying he'd lost his job/forgotten his credit card or whatever). He was treated politely and given free food every time.

The link above is to a youtube video, in which an able bodied woman asks for help zipping up her dress and people help her. But when a disabled woman asks for help doing up her buttons, people refuse.

You see the same thing with millionaire celebrities being given free things while poor people are refused the basics of life.

Why is human society like this?

So let's get the bad out of the way first. I got exposed to HIV and because of a transphobic/queerphobic nurse I got denied my post exposure hiv meds I was given in the ER before transferring to the mental health hospital for her shift and that might end up...... Yeah. I get tested in two weeks to be sure.

Anyway...... YO I MET MY FIRST CHATGPT CULTIST.

Went vegetarian (working towards vegan but I have a fridge the side of a microwave rn and only a microwave to cook.)

I also met a Zionist who said Zionist was a slur and calling people that is anti semitic

Someone was convinced their pills were fact and it was "The gazebo effect" and after someone corrected them they freaked out and punched a BHA.

I'm finally getting back on track in life, temp housing for 90 days then a bougie apartment for a year free!!!! 😭 I'm so happy n lucky on god

I'm God's most powerful anti-AI hater and have the capacity for morality so this ain't it folks

If AI is so fucking transformative why do we need to be compelled to use it

Hey are we even breaking even? Like all the devs I talk to about it go "yeah it's ok but you spend about as much time fixing what it gives you as you would writing it yourself". Can you imagine the business acumen it takes to have your devs take as much time as usual but also pay OpenAI a royalty for use of their text extrusion machine? And having it assist the HR department? Legal? All it's good for is finding a polite way to tell someone they're fired or communicate absolutely nothing behind sixty layers of corporate executive jargon.

Fifteen days ago I started reading "State and Revolution" after discovering it was hella short! Yesterday, I managed to finish it! Today, I'm beginning "What Is to Be Done?" because it is also hella short!

I'll probably go back and read State and Revolution again at some point, just to reinforce its ideas. Here is my takeaways after finishing the book:

Clear definition of the state and its function. This was something I understood but couldn't fully articulate.

"The state is a product and a manifestation of the irreconcilability of class antagonisms. The state arises where, when and insofar as class antagonism objectively cannot be reconciled. And, conversely, the existence of the state proves that the class antagonisms are irreconcilable"

In reality, however, the state is nothing but a machine for the oppression of one class by another, and indeed in the democratic republic no less than in the monarchy. And at best it is an evil inherited by the proletariat after its victorious struggle for class supremacy, whose worst sides the victorious proletariat will have to lop off as speedily as possible, just as the Commune had to, until a generation reared in new, free social conditions is able to discard the entire lumber of the state.

The state is nothing but a machine for the oppression of one class by another. This is such a succinct description by Engels.

Lenin makes it clear that the process involved in his vision of revolution to communism is a long process, one that may even take generations to complete. The process being:

• Capitalism.
• proletarian revolution and smashing of the bourgeois state.
• implementation of the proletarian state and its dictatorship over exploitative forces.
• the socialist period, stamped with the birthmark of capitalist society.
• The withering away of the proletarian state, as state functions become simple "control and administration" operated by "foremen and accountants."
• Communism.

It's amusing to see not much has changed in the political landscape. We still have arguments today about using the current state system to "democratically" transform the state from capitalist to socialist. It's the same opportunism expressed back then. Lots of talk about "democratic republics" and just how compatible they are with capitalism. In his critique of the anarchists of his time, he accuses them of seeking "overnight" abolition of the state and not seeing the need to defend against bourgeois counter-revolution. I know very little about historical anarchism, so I'll have to take his word on that one. These kinds of reads also add more to my reading list. I'm now very interested in reading Marx's analysis of the Paris Commune.

Much of the book was stuff I already "understood," but it was nice to read where these ideas are rooted. The best part of the book for me, though, was Chapter 7. It ends abruptly, and the postscript after reads:

This pamphlet was written in August and September 1917. I had already drawn up the plan for the next, the seventh chapter, “The Experience of the Russian Revolutions of 1905 and 1917”. Apart from the title, however, I had no time to write a single line of the chapter; I was “interrupted” by a political crisis — the eve of the October revolution of 1917. Such an “interruption” can only be welcomed; but the writing of the second part of this pamphlet (“The Experience of the Russian Revolutions of 1905 and 1917”) will probably have to be put off for a long time. It is more pleasant and useful to go through the “experience of revolution” than to write about it.

It is more pleasant and useful to go through the “experience of revolution” than to write about it.

My immediate thought was, "You did it. You fucking did it." It reads like a kind of walk-off into the sunset.

I look forward to reading the rest of his works. It was a very enjoyable read, even if I was a little lost in the history.

Post in this space to discuss it.

before my egg cracked. I was already unable to do basic things, to care for myself, to hit normal milestones. Now it is truly unbearable. I hate being trans. I hate having to transition, I hate feeling dysphoric. I hate society. I already hated society but its so evil. I will never have a life I am happy with. Not in this society, not with this body, or this voice.

I can't cope. I can't stop thinking about it. Being trans has ruined me. It hurts so badly. Hearing my voice, seeing myself in the mirror or looking down. Telling people. Being misgendered. Knowing what I look like. I can't do it. I can't deal with all of the things I need to. Its too hard and too painful.

There's not a light and the end of the tunnel. There's not a thing I need that will fix this.

People are sick of me. All I do is whine about how shit life is and how much I need to kill myself. Pretty much the only thing on my mind. I'm sick of me too. I'm sick of this life. There's not an answer but killing myself. That's the only way to escape this hell.

I can't deal with being trans. My body, voice, or society. I've known for a long time I was going to kill myself but I guess this is why. Its nice to have closure in a way, of understanding why my life fell apart before it even really began. I'm very angry and disappointed. Society has smothered me to death and forces me to finish the job.

I can't do this. I never really could. I never functioned normally, not since puberty anyway.

People in the mega have told me I'm grieving at it will get better. It hasn't. It hasn't gotten better one bit. I'm out to all my friends. Does nothing.

I'm broken. I can't find my way through life. I don't like life anyway. I just can't quite get over the hump to die yet for whatever stupid reason.

Thanks for listening to my stupid whining. For whatever reason this is all I have on my mind and all that's important to me.

Been going through it lately. Find myself venturing a couple blocks to a nearby beach, and driving past the 4wd only sign to find some solitude.

I go out there, set a timer for a hour, put my ear plugs in (earplugs are custom made for extended periods of power tool work in enclosed spaces), and stare at the shore.

I'm not figuring my life out, or trying to achieve zen. just shut down for an hour. I quit thinking, quit everything but looking, and listen to my breathing. I watch the birds come and go, searching the shore for minnows and mollusks and all in silence. Eventually my watch vibrating is enough to bring me back to it, and I go home.

My life is so loud, and busy, and constantly changing. Sometimes I think I just need a lack of noise for a while.

Anyone else?

The original song and lyrics, if you're curious https://youtu.be/z03wZdJzjBs?list=RDz03wZdJzjBs

Edit - I made it as a small personal project; I've prolly not taken the nuances of translating it from Russian so... welp

Verse 1

White snow, cold ice

Onto an Earth quite dry

Like a plaid stitched into place

The city roads loop and tie.

Clouds pass in the sky above,

Hiding the heavenly lights,

Yellow mist takes its place

Two millennia of such nights

That records another

upcoming - winter solstice.

Verse 2

For two millenia, it knew only war

The reason? Forgotten so far

Tis a venture for those very young

They shall not grow further on

Red blood is the toll on the ground

Past an hour, it makes a shroud

After two, flowers and grass

After three, peace now alas

Warmed by the rays

Of an incoming - summer solstice

Verse 3 (prolly the weakest)

To be continued...

For context people abandoning vehicles in our store parking lot has been a semi-common occurrence.

So of course i snap a pick and ask the work group chat if anyone recognizes the trailer and if we're gonna have to call the tow company to drag out an abandoned elote truck.

Hours later after several of us have said we don't recognize it and to call the tow guy, our new warehouse manager Pablo chimes in "oh sorry that's my cousins elote trailer, he's looking for a mechanic fix it, figured you wouldn't mind if I parked it in the very back of the lot".

Pablo! It's fine if you want to park your Primos trailer in the lot (it's a big parking lot) but fucking TELL SOMEONE!

Anyway he says he'll get us free elote for the trouble.

My good friend is really cool. He's basically a super nerd scientist guy. Despite having a ton of knowledge, he's humble af, I've known him for years before I knew how high his educational qualifications go.

My friend just married someone with a nice job and a bougie family. I'm happy for my friend, I couldn't give a fuck if all her convos revolve around past holidays, resorts, and pricey drinks. My friend is happy and and he feels secure with this woman, and I'm glad that things are going well for him.

My friend and his wife keep trying to organise double dates. I guess it feels natural, to bring us into the wider family. But what happens is that the men and women separate and have their own conversations. My gf finds this woman boring af, bragging about all the countries she's traveled and nice places she's been isn't really interesting. I wonder if posh people are so used to talking to service workers and underlings who are required by their job to please them, that they have no idea how fucking boring they are.

Do you guys just refresh the home page just to read the random quotes and phrases just for a giggle sometimes or is it just me?

basically just a stream of consciousness that i havent proofread, also i have been reading the Grapes of Wrath lately so this probably rips off Steinbeck I think but whatever i appreciate anyone who reads and lets me know what they think

The soil is dry, drier than ever. Grass yellows, dirt hardens, and the hum of the summer is quieter than you remember. The summers you recall were lush and green, but now each is yellow, fields of yellow and brown, stretching on. In cities the parks are desperately thirsty, and the news features interviews with farmers, no longer fretting about inheritance tax, but about the sickness of their land. They express this in terms of lost revenue and fear of what will happen to their property, of course, but they know this is more than a fiscal downturn.

Still, few listen. As the soil dries and rivers thin, our attention is gripped by other matters. There's a war, for god's sake. The land may be dying, but what will happen if the Russians have it and not us? What about the Iranians? And anyway, we don’t need to listen to confirm what we already know in our hearts. This place is already a desert, but a domesticated one. We can push things a little further to carve out an echelon of comfort. We can install AC, like the Americans do.

The soil dries further. There are breaches in the walls that protect normality. There are threats of hosepipe bans; we are all angry at the water executives and their ill-gotten bonuses, so we determine to ignore these and feel self-righteous. But the thirst of all life is hard to ignore, as we are still animals, and we can sense it implicitly. A few are able to fully circumvent this instinct, having learned to do so long ago, and murdering their own humanity in the process.

Anxiety begins to build with each day that it goes on. Something is desperately wrong, more wrong than ever, but it is simply too big to say out loud. Somebody, in any case, must be doing something about this. Somebody must have their hand on the steering wheel. The thirst is no longer just in the soil and in nature but in you as well, driving you to check forecasts at an alarming rate. This grants a semblance of control over the situation – if you at least know precisely what is going on, then you can formulate a plan, or make predictions, or at least bear witness, which provides a drop of comfort.

Three years ago it was worse. Not in the spring, but in the summer, at least. It might not get as bad as that this year. There’s a chance, always. Thank goodness for the rain in May, or we’d be in more serious trouble! Yet, these well-used coping mechanisms do little to sate your thirst, and nothing will, except the rain, which you are desperate for, like everything else.

This is a lonely state of affairs. You may seek out fellow worriers on online forums or in scientific journals, but broadly society seems to move along as normal. A relative or a friend tells you that the weather has been lovely, and you do not disagree, not wanting to be awkward. You simply cannot express this anxiety while maintaining the image of a well-adjusted member of a well-adjusted society. You know you are not well-adjusted, and you know for sure that the society isn’t, either, but that is little comfort.

It comes, eventually, perhaps all at once or perhaps in showers. The weather that was a frustration nine months ago is now a wondrous event, and nature’s desperate need is quenched. Raindrops on the window take on a marvellous quality. Perhaps the drought will abate, or perhaps not, but today there is momentary salvation, and for that you are thankful. Yet, you know that this will not last. This will only get worse. The prognosis is deadly. This disease will not be cured or reversed in the slightest.

Your own disease will continue to develop in tandem, isolating you further from those who do manage, something you cannot understand. The old maxim about being poorly-adjusted to a profoundly sick society is not comforting. You wish you could reverse the course of events. You wish to go back to the world that no longer exists. But you cannot. Events are in motion that dwarf all of us, and you know this well. Control is a myth that you wish you still believed in.

The soil, now moist, begins to dry again.

If it isn't Zionazi freaks, anti-communist fascists, or dog-whistling Ukranazis it's few and far between you find someone who's into military stuff that isn't throwing up the roman salute.

Big shoutout to local hero @Tervell@hexbear.net for reminding me that not all mil geeks are blood and soil weirdos.

There's a thread on reddit right now where, as usual, people are claiming that it's too easy to get disability benefits, all you have to do is say "I'm sad, I'm depressed," and you are instantly given benefits. Which is the complete opposite of reality. Someone wrote a response about how difficult it actually is to claim disability in the UK, and I think this response is brilliant and really shows just how hard it is. The response focuses specifically on mental health claims, but applying for physical health is every bit as difficult as this too:

Hi, Welfare Rights Adviser for over 10 years here, probably over a 1000 first tier tribunal appeals under my belt at this point, dozens of upper tier tribunal appeals also. I help clients with every aspect of a claim from start to finish.

Your second point could not be more wrong, and gets parroted on here like it's gospel by people who don't have a single clue about any of this.

You absolutely cannot just turn up and say "I have depression, give me money please ooh I'm so sad"... The way everyone talks on here makes it sound like the DWP response to that is, "well we can't just accuse someone of lying, they must be telling the truth, we have no choice but to give them infinite money and a car"

Someone with a mental illness wouldn't just have to fake it to a DWP assessor, they would have to fake it to multiple healthcare professionals throughout many years.

DWP can, and do, very frequently reject reported restrictions claimants have because there's no evidence. Often unreasonably so.

If you have no diagnosis they'll say go away you have no diagnosis

If you have a diagnosis they'll say go away you're only on a first line medication and not under a specialist

If you are under a specialist they'll say go away you have no history of self harm or suicide attempts

If you do have a history of self harm and suicide attempts they'll say go away that was 5 months ago you're fine now

If you tried to commit suicide yesterday they'll say, actually you managed to finish high school twenty years ago, that must have taken a lot of drive and motivation go away.

Last month I had a case up for a hearing where the appellant suffered from severe depression, and had been in receipt of PIP for 8+ years, with 4 reviews in that time. This time he was given 0 points despite having been sectioned twice since the last review as he was a danger to himself .

While waiting for a hearing he hanged himself from his bedroom door using the cord from his dressing gown.

I informed the DWP of this, expecting them to lapse the appeal, give him his old award back, and give his grieving family some money for a funeral with the backdated payment.

They refused.

Three months later we have the hearing, appellant is represented by his mum and dad who are in floods of tears the moment they walk in.

The hearing lasts 1 minute, in which the judge simply apologises to the family, and launches into an absolute tirade against the DWP (who wisely chose not to send anyone to this particular hearing) for ever stopping his benefits in the first place.

This is the reality, this is the system people on here are advocating should be made crueler to those with mental illness

Fucking infernal concoction wtf. Its insane that I am allowed to do this to myself. All 3 of my friends and I puked. Hellish experience I would not wish upon almost anyone. Never again as they say

The gang's all here! They figured out how to attach GIFs lol

being like "I sold your number to these people"

She's an old trout who banged a married man, broke up the home of two little children and for that we need to show respect to her. And if you don't you'll be poked by her ladies in waiting and ordered to get up.

My “roommates” and I have been staying at a motel for the last month, and we’re looking at transitioning to a more permanent solution, like a sublet or something.

They came into some money and they’re letting me stay with them.

One of them is going to start working again, doing handyman type stuff, and I’m going to help him—at first being like his secretary, until I get more physically fit, because right now it hurts to hold my arms above my head.

Friday tunnel/trench day.

green stuff is tracer dye. I spent the morning identifying floor drains inside a 7-11. It's all fucking broken.

No time to dilly dally.

My dad is 78 years old, and my mom turns 69 this year. My dad plans to work for another year because he "can't afford to retire". Here is their financial overview:

Assets

• 401(k) and IRA savings totaling just under $2 million.
• Total income of roughly $109k according to last year's IRS filing (including mandatory Social Security disbursements, despite not yet being retired, due to my dad's age) in a low cost-of-living area. Excellent health insurance through my dad's job.
• Outright ownership our single-family home. No mortgages!
• Full-ownership of two SUVs, each purchased new less than ten years ago. No auto loans!
• ~Fifty acres of rural real-estate, including a mid-sized tractor and a giant metal barn/shed that is almost twice the size of our house, and has a loft. No mortgages on the property.
• A sailboat.
• ~$20k sitting in their checking account right now
• ~$400k of (non-retirement) stock investments ALL IN ONE SINGLE GOLD MINING COMPANY!

Liabilities

• ~$70k of credit card debt at ~30% APR (!?), which I just recently this week convinced my mom to pay off, after a year of begging and pleading.
• ~$150k in student loans at ~7% APR in my mom's name which she took out on behalf of the educations for me and my two siblings (I also would have paid these off years ago if I had any say).

What's Wrong?

They choose to live in poverty (of sorts), to forgo basic necessities, and to let their home---which they've lived in for nearly forty years---rot in disrepair.

• About half of the house's exterior paint has flaked off completely. The rest is "boiling" off.
• Our roof leaks every time it rains because we have needed new shingles for maybe twenty years (IDK). The shingles are boiling and warped, just like the paint.
• ~40% of the walls in the house are bare, unpainted drywall from half-finished renovations my dad started thirty years ago.
• ~20% of the walls have drywall on only one side. The other side is studs with bare wires running through them.
• ~30% of the flooring is literally the concrete foundation, also from half-finished renovations my dad started thirty years ago.
• One window in one of the two guest bedrooms has been half-made of duck tape for the past twenty-five years, because it was broken and never replaced.
• There are several inch-wide gaps in the hallway ceiling surrounding the drop-down ladder to the attic through which 130F air pours directly into the central AC intake.
• Our one and only working shower broke last year---the water would only trickle out. Instead of calling a plumber, my dad just suffered with for nearly a month, because it was no biggie---it just took twenty times as long to take a shower is all.
• I thought that the one nice thing we had in our home was a proper stovetope range hood that blows the air outside instead of recirculating it into the house. Yesterday I found out that ours has been blowing the greasy hot air into our attic (where they store belongings) for the past twenty years, because my dad hasn't yet finished its duct work.

Our energy bills are huge. Did I mention we live in swamp-ass Texas and it gets 110F for much of the summer? In the past forty years they haven't invested a dime in energy efficiency improvements. It gets worse.

About ten years ago, our central air conditioner (which was probably installed in 1975 and came with the house when they bought it) broke down.

Instead of shelling out the cash for a new central unit, they bought one of those horribly inefficient portable ones that attaches to the window via a long hose. This brought the indoor living room temperatures down to ~89F in the summer. My dad would sit on the couch in his Walter White tidey-whitey underpants, sweating, two fans blowing on him, complaining constantly about the summer heat. They used shitty window units in the bedrooms. When the shitty portable unit in the living room died after just two years, they replaced it with a slightly less shitty portable unit from another company.

We finally got a new proper central air conditioner to go with our existing central air infrastructure (!) three months ago, after much pleading, protesting, and shaming by me.

A Vignette

Last night, I interrupted my parents nightly Netflix binge to talk to Dad about the roof. I mentioned how it's a no-brainer which pays for itself by adding value to the home (their financial asset!), and that every day we go without a new one, more damage accumulates---which will cost even more to repair.

His reply has been echoing in my head ever since...

"A new roof could cost almost $10,000. Where am I going to get that kind of money?"

My dad refuses to hire contractors, because there are none in existence that he "trusts" to do it right. That's why the paint is peeling. Because before painting the house, he plans to REBUILD the sides of the house with lumber and his own two hands. Because you don't want to paint a shitty house, right? His plan is to wait until he retires, and then just do everything.

Similarly, I talked to my mom days ago about how how a couple professional HVAC renovations totaling about one thousand dollars could drastically improve the airflow, efficiency, comfort, and noise level of our home.

You know what she said?

"Oh, no. I don't want to invest that much money into the house. We're not going to live here forever."

They do not communicate AT ALL. They are both living in the future in separate fantasy worlds.

My entire life I grew up thinking we were destitute, because *gestures around*, but mainly because my dad does nothing but complain about money and how everybody else is a rich doctor. My parents have been extremely cryptic and weird about finances for my entire life. My dad refused to tell HIS OWN WIFE his income for DECADES. The ONLY thing I knew about their financial situation until a few months ago (I'm 37) is that they had tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. This has caused me and my siblings incalculable anxiety and stress. I was in bed with depression for years, thinking we were going to be thrown onto the streets at any moment. My mom could only tell me "not to worry about it". Yeah, that helps.

Any mention of finances will launch my dad into the same fucking speech about how his income is "going to go down to almost half" when he retires---he basically guilts you for bringing up the subject, in a condescending tone. He is an extremely miserable, dour, joyless man who emits an energy field which doubles the cortisol levels of everyone in a ten meter radius. He is incapable of warmth and affection. He is short-tempered and belittles my mom. My mom puts up with all of it because she's an evangelical and Jesus told her that he will one day make my dad a Christian and a good person, basically. She told me that circa 1997.

I asked my mom why she has all of that money on the "roulette table" (extremely un-diversified, volatile investments). I asked her what in this world she wanted the money for... She said she wanted new underwear and a new couch. That's it. Oh, and she wants her family to be happy. Finally, she revealed the true reason: Jesus tells her when to buy and sell the gold company stock, and she will one day make SO much money on the stock market that my dad will have no choice but to see that God is real, and accept Jesus Christ into his heart as his Lord and personal savior (and make their life and marriage perfect, I guess). She can't imagine or articulate any big-ticket item that she actually desires, she just wants to be "rich". She doesn't want to spend the money she has RIGHT NOW to improve the lives of her family RIGHT NOW.

I am still unpacking the C-PTSD I accumulated from a childhood of extreme emotional neglect. BOTH of my siblings have been involuntarily hospitalized for schizophrenia that manifested in the past three years. During our childhood, my mom spent all day in bed asleep with depression, and my dad didn't know I existed, even though I was right in front of him the whole time. Neither of them have any social skills whatsoever. We ate family dinners at the table together in complete silence for eighteen years. I didn't even know that wasn't normal.

I just saw this story on reddit:

*A friend of mine had limited vision when he took a new role as production manager for an edible oils company. They even hired a "guide", to make sure he could get around the site safely.

His vision totally failed totally half way through his probation period...

The company medically retired him at full salary, for life...he was in his late 40's at the time.*

I was amazed to read about such a good employer, as my experience was starkly different. I'd worked for 16 years before going on disability benefits, most of that time as a carer for the elderly, but for the last 18 months I'd been working in a gym as I had fancied a change. I'd qualified as a fitness instructor, and during those 18 months had been promoted to personal trainer (meaning I got my own 1 on 1 clients), the boss had spoken to me about paying for me to get further qualifications, I got on well with my colleagues and never had any complaints about my work.

But I started cancer treatment. I carried on working at first, although I was tired and less chatty than usual. I also cut my working days from 5 down to 4. And began to need time off for hospital appointments. My boss started picking on me, constantly trying to find fault with everything I did. I wasn't being extroverted enough any more was the main complaint.

A man I had never seen before started hanging around the gym, watching me. One day my boss called me into the office and the man was there. My boss fired me. He told me this man who'd been hanging around had been undercover watching me and I wasn't outgoing or friendly enough any more, I wasn't being proactive any more, and I was fired. I asked, "Not being proactive in what way?" The boss couldn't give any concrete examples. He couldn't even give any real examples of me not being extroverted enough. He said people weren't happy with my work but couldn't give any examples of that either. And he'd seemed very happy and never had a complaint in all those 18 months.

It was absolutely clear to me that he no longer wanted to employ me because I was now ill, needed time off for hospital appointments and he was worried my condition would deteriorate further. In the UK you need to work in a place for 2 years before you get full employment rights, and he wanted to get rid of me before then. If he'd kept me on for 2 years and then I got even sicker and could work less and he fired me, I could claim unfair dismissal. So he was desperate to get rid of me before then.

And if I'd been there for 2 years before becoming ill, he'd have been obliged to make reasonable attempts to modify my work to enable me to keep working. And if he wanted to fire me he'd have to follow a fair dismissal procedure. By getting rid of me as soon as I became ill before 2 years had passed, he could just get rid of me, easily. However he got this man to watch me and say I wasn't doing a good job as a precaution anyway, so he'd have someone backing him up if I tried to fight it.

I was so upset by the unfairness I actually burst into tears and just left. I didn't fight it, I already had a cancer fight on my hands, I couldn't take on an employment fight too.

This is the reality of being ill or disabled, employers don't want you. You need time off and can't do everything a well, able bodied person can do. This is why it makes me so angry when people talk about cutting disability benefits, or making them harder to get and saying of the disabled "There must be some work they can do!" What work, where, and is there enough of this work to provide full time employment for millions of disabled people? No, of course not. Nobody wants to pay our benefits but they don't want to employ us either. They always want us to be someone else's problem. And if we end up homeless, they'll put spikes on benches and in doorways so we can't sleep there. Out of sight, out of mind.

Employers like the one in the reddit post are few and far between. There is so much talk in the UK about how the welfare state can't be sustained but what do they think is going to happen? I am truly worried we will see a return to workhouses and Dickensian slums. Children are already being starved at school: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0k7dv1mnpvo

How long before they are sent down the mines again? Even the Nazis were kinder, I'd rather be gassed to death than impoverished to death. It's already hard enough to get and keep disability benefits in the UK, as anyone who has been following my posts knows. But it's difficult to stay in employment as a disabled person too when an employer will do anything to be rid of you at the first sign of illness. Just what are we supposed to do?

My guess is that they had an applicant with experience on the specific coffee roaster they have, or someone with less experience overall that they can pay less.

However, they did give me their personal contact info to hang out when I'm town and most importantly, I convinced them that all of the world records for "oldest dog" are fake.

This is one of the last chill industries left in the US lmao

*and a couple hundred dollars

ive had some accounts on here where i detailed my situation more but long story short, i'm a brown queer who's long overdue on leaving an extremely triggering living situation in a southern state with increasingly hostile policies and a personal 0% success rate on finding meaningful friendships, community, or work. i've already tried moving to a big liberal city before and while it was better on some ends, i still was unable to make any meaningful connections or enough money that would have made the working just to live in a shitty room at the mercy of random sublandlords worth continuing for me. i also had a traumatic experience where someone scammed me out of a large sum of money, and the worst part of that whole ordeal wasn't even losing the money, it was the lack of emotional support afterwards.

anyways, after an antagonizingly long hiatus from society despite my best efforts to have even a crumb of a reason to keep hope and effort that i might find something that could give me a reason to keep going, i've decided that enough is enough, there's almost a 100% chance i won't find anyone likeminded enough here or an opportunity good enough to build towards freedom, and so i want to try vagabonding around before i give up entirely. i feel like i've tried every other possible option except meandering around the world so if i plan to call it quits i could at least do this and say hey i tried everything. i literally had 0$ for a while but i managed to sell an old guitar of mine which kickstarted this plan into fruition.

my question is have any of you ever done it without places to stay lined up, tons of savings (i have less than a grand), people to travel with, or a plan? i would love to hear from your experiences, particularly if you are a PoC.

i've been specifically thinking about getting a one way flight to portugal and then just very slowly make my way towards africa or asia from there. i've also thought maybe it would be smarter to stay in the country in hopes it could lead to more domestic opportunities, but it feels like the law would be more against me within the US. another option could be heading south through mexico to central and south america.

it's funny because the thing i crave so badly is stability and familiarity and being able to rely on and help and be helped i really just want to live a normie life like id even be willing to go back to wage slaving if there were people that cared about me. this plan feels like the complete opposite lol but if i don't do anything then i'm just guaranteed to get nothing