this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Why would you need a strobe setting for a flashlight?
It's funny. When someone asks you to hold the light so they can work, you turn on the strobe setting and goes on a rant about saving batteries. Drives them absolutely bonkers.
Defense
Also offense
I have damaged multiple zionists eyes with my super powerful flashlight. It's a great way to make people fuck off without putting hands on them.
Impromptu dance party
I can be used as a distress signal
I forgot that people camp and hike
Mark your position in a rescue situation, combining very strong light output and limited power usage to have it effective for a long time
Tactical scenario: You're on your way from point A: the treat'n'slop to point B: your suburban MacMansion. As you're reaching from the supersized slurp-slop and a squirrel runs across the road (for some reason there's still pockets of resistance between out settlement where animal life still exists. Someone failed at their main mission to keep our trade routes safe, but I digress.)
What happens: You swirl and find yourself with a blown out tire on your mega pickup. No worries, just climb out of the car to change the tire, it's just a meter or so, you can make the jump.
S.T.O.P!
What's this, your old sports ball injury is acting up from the elevated stress levels. First it stopped you from making the team, then it stopped you from making the border guard, and now it's threatening your life. You don't have enough paracord on your lighter for a makeshift rope ladder to make the climb. Neither your knife, nor your backup ankle multi-tool is big enough to thrust into the side of the truck to make a step so you could climb down. It would snap from the load.
You're stuck.
You could reach for the phone, sure. But that would mean opening the Faraday pocket and reveal your location. And in order to access the Light Emitting Diode on the back you'll need to remove the EMP-protection case on your iPhone. No dice.
All that remains is your single, ultra-bright tactical 500mah 70lumen $300 titanium key-chain flashlight. You can turn it on and wiggle it back an forth to signal other cars zipping by.
S.T.O.P!
Turning that thing on will drain the batteries fast. You don't know how long you'll be stuck on this main road. But you remember from hours of pouring over the manual, testing several.. Nye, dozens of flashlights, watching probably 100s of review and unpacking videos that this one comes with a S.T.R.O.B.E. function already programmed into it.
10 min later, a fellow patriot stops and lend you assistance.
Scenario over.
(⁀ᗢ⁀)
Long Live The Resistance!!!
so you can put it up against this guys eyeball
Saves battery life
At the cost of your sanity points.
Mining zonai does suck.