this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2024
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down with cis

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[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Are there any trans people who just feel like transitioning is too much effort despite their gender causing them distress?

Yeah, I've seen people post here about that. Some people are "okay" with their assigned gender even though they would prefer another. Some of these people don't transition because it's just too much work socially, financially, medically, legally, etc.

Despite occasional dysphoria flare ups, I myself could probably spend the rest of my life as a man and not, like, die.

it makes me feel like I’m somehow faking or deluding myself into thinking I’m trans when I’m not

Another very common thought that I feel and have seen posted here. I see and use this word "deluded" a lot.

it’s not like I haven’t heard it before and it doesn’t help. Are there any trans people who just feel like transitioning is too much effort despite their gender causing them distress?

Are you looking for people to encourage you to not transition instead?

Do you think a sort of limited transition or gender tweak might be good for you? Like, not fully transitioning but doing some of the gender expression you enjoy without all the pressure.

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

At the moment, I have no idea what I want. I have a couple presentation things that make me feel good. Other than that, the decision of whether or not to start HRT is tearing me apart. I simultaneously feel terrified to start and also like I’m missing out by not starting. Everyone who starts it seems to regret not starting it sooner.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I 100% feel every word you just wrote. I'm going through exactly that. I don't really know where I'll be in a year in terms of transition.

Let me tell you what's been helpful for me:

  1. Dropping the labels. I've stopped asking myself if I'm a trans woman, femme guy, nonbinary, agender, demigender, bigender, etc. I'm just a person making some changes that make me happy.

  2. Making slow, long term changes. Right now, I'm removing body hair with an at home IPL. This will take a couple months to complete, so it's not a snap decision, and I can stop if I'm ever uncomfortable. I'll go get laser removal on my face this summer, and that's the same story. If I'm happy with both of these things down the line, THEN I'll worry about HRT, but I'm not gonna stress about it now.

Is there maybe something for you that's less stressful than HRT that you could start doing more often to feel it out?

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I figured out the dropping labels thing a while back. They’re more trouble than they’re worth at the moment. I was thinking about the at home IPL so maybe this is a sign that’s what I should look at next.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 5 points 8 months ago

Cool!

There are also cheap/free/non-permanent things like voice training or growing/cutting your hair.

Hope you have fun with it

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 4 points 8 months ago

I see and use this word "deluded" a lot.

wonder-who-thats-for