this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 45 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (12 children)

Every single person with a penis has done this at least once but most of us don't write a book about it

EDIT: this is clearly a class divide and the bourgeoisie are showing their ass in the comments (it has a golden buttplug in it)

[–] Cattypat@mander.xyz 56 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 82 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This is because you are a coward

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 36 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Funniest thing I've read all day

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 41 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The communists disdain to hide their views and kinks

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago
[–] Frank@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes being normal about sex is one thing i like about left movements.

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

I can't imagine what it feels like to embody no-fun-allowed

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 52 points 4 months ago

That's right you can't say it.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 50 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You could not waterboard that information out of me.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 35 points 4 months ago

rat-salute Take it to your grave, comrade. We'll keep it in the dark.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 38 points 4 months ago

Every single person with a penis has done this

What? Did I miss the dudes101 class? Was it a fucking group text that I thought was spam? When was I supposed to do such a thing lmao

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 37 points 4 months ago

Lmao y'all are a bunch of couch fuckers farquaad-point

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 26 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I went to a reputable sex shop and bought a nice masturbation sleeve. It's hypoallergenic and since it's made from silicon it's easy to clean and sterilize, while being safe and comfortable for your skin.

[–] btfod@hexbear.net 23 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Nerd! I ran the garden hose til the earth was just soft enough and I fucked the muddy hole in the ground

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

btfod did love unto a hillock theory-gary

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

Look Mother Earth needs the rejuvenating love of the New King to bring an end to winter and ensure a fertile harvest. No one said it was going to be neat, clean, and airbrushed!

[–] CA0311@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Frank@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Counterpoint: chafing is counter-revolutionary

[–] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago

nah that's fucking weird

Death to America

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

Bro my gock is for slicing and dicing not pounding a couch

[–] nocturnedragonite@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 4 months ago
[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

extremely loud incorrect buzzer

[–] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Shoot me if I ever do this

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

I’m not ape brained enough to fuck my couch. Now, a pringles can on the other hand