this post was submitted on 21 May 2024
626 points (99.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26821 readers
2829 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 57 points 6 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] bluey@lemmy.world 34 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] chetradley@lemmy.world 80 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That one on the bottom right really got the short end of the stick.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago

Especially compared the one counter to him on the left. Chad vs Virgin meme.

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 31 points 6 months ago (2 children)

With the hairline of a 48-year old.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just because he's God doesn't mean he can do anything about male pattern baldness. He's not that omnipotent.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 27 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Mexico has such cool religious art that this is just offensively ugly. Even if you don't like religion the art is pretty cool. This is ugly on the Touchdown Jesus level of ugly.

[–] Pat_Riot 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That is clearly water bending Jesus.

[–] troybot@midwest.social 5 points 6 months ago

Jesus was not a skilled water bender... it exploded in flames and burned to the ground

[–] Revonult@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Oh boy do I have news. God agreed with you and in 2010 "Touchdown Jesus" was struck by lightning and burned down. They replaced it with a more traditional version. Personally I liked the orgional more.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 7 points 6 months ago

Sadly the original Jesus was destroyed by an act of God.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 6 months ago

I thought he was drowning.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Did Hideo Kojima make this?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] bhmnscmm@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago (5 children)

You know, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and off putting to pray to a baby.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

He sure did grow up. And up and up apparently.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

Adult Jesus and Baby Jesus are distinct Biblical Entities in the Biblical Monster's Manual.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] profdc9@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Dear 800 pound 6 ounce newborn infant Jesus...

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] DODOKING38@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago

All hail the lord and saviour lord Farquadd

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago

As a person utterly devoid of religion, I still used to enjoy visiting the temples of the various faiths, to see what they'd come up with. I think that period might be at an end.

[–] waterore@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

That’s no Jesus, that’s a Phil Collins!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] pipows 14 points 6 months ago

I'm not a christian and yet I feel offended by this image

[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 6 months ago

At first glance he looks like one of those smaller deformed titans.

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

GiantBlue-eyedWhiteToddlerJesus

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dumbass@leminal.space 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why does the giant baby Jesus have a full head of hair.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I just wanna know why he has a widow's peak 😄

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

looks like Andy Kaufman

[–] Tetsuo@jlai.lu 8 points 6 months ago

Who would ever contest this claim ?!

[–] Jakdracula@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

MC 900 Foot Jesus enters the chat.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Do they also claim to have the self awareness to understand that thing is fucking creepy

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

Self-awareness and Christianity aren't generally friendly.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

'Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the South call you: 'Hey-suz'. We thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family: my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome striking sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And, of course, my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox, who if you would rate her ass on 100, it would easily be a 94. I also want to thank you for my best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton Jr, who's got my back no matter what...Dear Lord Baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father Chip. We hope that you can use your Baby Jesus powers to heal him and his horrible leg. It smells terrible and the dogs are always botherin' with it. Dear Tiny Infant Jesus...'

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago
[–] Veneroso@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Baby Jesus? Or baby Phil Collins?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 months ago

"This is not a record to be proud of"

I dunno, you must have accomplished some pretty impressive things to be so dismissive of this.

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

He was a grown man! He had a beard!

I know! But I like the baby Jesus the best!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

Yes, we know. Her name was Mary Magdalene.

The living with the 12 other dudes totally gave it away though.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Jubei_K_08@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

Looks like a boss from Blasphemous 💀

[–] ChanchoManco@lemm.ee 7 points 6 months ago

Giant baby Jesus doesn't exist, giant baby Jesus can't hurt you

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

And not shamefully for some reason.

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 6 points 6 months ago

Is giant baby Jesus trying to sneak up on him?

[–] MECHAGIC@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Why does it look like Nic Cage

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] FiniteBanjo 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Reminds me of that one sketch:

"Can we lower it to two hail Mary's?"

"How dare you cheapen the word of God!"

"Fine then, I'll just take my business to the church across the street."

"Go then!"

[walks away]

"The exit is that way!"

"I'm visiting the gift shop, first."

[–] hoss@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I will build an even larger and uglier baby Jesus statue

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

We must feed Him.

We must feed Him gravel.

Or He becomes angry.

load more comments
view more: next ›