this post was submitted on 25 May 2024
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The book in question is The Vegetarian Myth and it is full of arguments of a similar caliber

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[–] macerated_baby_presidents@hexbear.net 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

vegans: animals have wants and needs

carnists: but what if APPLES had wants and needs? that's why I am going to throw these live chicks into a grinder

[–] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would ask them about shredding human babies, but I'm too afraid of the answer.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

wait im pretty sure i can answer this one, im the carnist whisperer

well, they taste like pork. we've gotta eat something, why not ground baby?

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago

It sure is wild how all those apple orchards popped into existence because animals pooped the seeds in nice neat rows over vast acreage. So much so, that we have a near perpetual abundance of apples i-love-not-thinking

[–] naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 1 year ago

Consider: eating an Apple doesn't benefit the tree 🤔 ergo I am going to terrorise and eat a pig.

Checkmate canines lions protein crop deaths no take backsies.

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

So, it's basically the "WHAt abOUt PLAntS tho???" fallacy taken to the most deeply unserious extreme possible? Go figure.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We have violated the NAP with the apple tree and stolen its fruit.

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

It's only legitimate if the orchard has a gold fringe

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] UltraGreen@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

Everytime I see that guy, I hear Nick Mullen's impression of him on cumtown.

[–] Leon_Frotsky@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Consider: I find the seeds tasty so I om nom them like God intended and I'm returning to tradition by exclusively shitting in the woods

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's a nice way to come out as a bear hexbear-gay-pride

[–] booty@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

actually i think that may be the pope

or the poope

by exclusively shitting in the woods

Maybe start with some porches first just to get warmed up.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Seems like there's more apple trees now than there would be if we didn't cultivate them, cause otherwise we wouldn't bother. We are an entire species thar got domesticated by fucking wheat. If you're gonna go all Darwin on what the plant would prefer, I can say for sure, edible plants have us by the balls. I'd the absolute unquestionable apex animal spends most of the resources not spent on killing each other on propagating your species, I think we can see who the dom is when looking at things from an outside perspective.

[–] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Trees be like sit-back-and-enjoy as humans kill themselves and all mammals in the anthropocentric mass-extinction.

[–] EpicKebabEater@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

The plant does not want anything, it does not have a nervous system. Evolution does not want anything either, it is name given to a self-evident tendency of things that are good at making more of itself making more of itself(I know it's a bit more complicated but the point is, it can't want anything).

People will see an actual animal that has thoughts and feelings and a tree that does not and will equate them, absolute insanity.

[–] WittyProfileName2@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

Vegans don't plant the seeds of every plant they eat.

Therefore it's ok to kill animals.

All right everyone wrap it up. no-choice

[–] moujikman@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Accidentally chewing apple seeds release hydrogen cyanide, a fast-acting toxic chemical. They don't us munching on that part.

[–] fox@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You'd need to eat an unrealistic number of apples for it to affect you though

[–] jack@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I eat 70 apples for every meal

[–] booty@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

i skip the flesh and just go straight for a big ol' nutritious bowl of apple seeds

i am too powerful to be taken down by some shit that sounds like a terrible candy

[–] Runcible@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

this violates the NAP

[–] itappearsthat@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

I save up all my seeds to plant in the front yards of rich people

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Literally the "Hurr durr plants have feelings! Epic troll!" fallacy.

For someone that hates animals and wants to see them suffer so badly, carnists tend to be quite the sheep.

[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

I'm johnny apple-seed, and I say apples have feelings too! 🤣