complaining about my envy
Envy is actual brain poison that my brain cannot stop drinking, holy fuck what is wrong with me.
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://rentry.co/tracha (Includes rules and invite link)
WEBRINGS:
π³οΈββ§οΈ Transmasculine Pride Ring π³οΈββ§οΈ
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in that gender zone where im like 'but what is a woman then? Gender is just a construct, so what even is this?' then i realize that i didn't fall out of a coconut tree and I exist in the context of all in which I live and what came before me
really awful horrifying sexual trauma processing ft Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl
Weirdly, despite the fact I stopped having rejection-sensitivity-fueled breakdowns about A Novels, I find Paul is still giving me psychic damage, maybe more now than before. Not in an obvious way, but to where it fucks with my mental state and makes me wobbly and weird and anxious and worried.
Literally I think what's happening is that, to an extent, some certain depictions of sex acts between men will fucking freak me out. My ex and I were both ostensibly sad little gay boys when we met, so uh there was a lot of that, and a lot of that did not stop when transition started, which is where the trauma mixes in. The only memories I have of "male sexuality" (as in ostensibly being a guy during sex) and the associated terms and acts are horrible and traumatising. I guess it's to the point where when similar things show up in a weirdbook, psychic damage.
This makes sense since I have not really read gay-dude sex before, this is kind of the first time, Paul is a lovely complicated little weird thing. But it's kind of fucking lame and I don't really love the idea that certain kinds of sex just EXISTING will trigger my fucking trauma, that really distresses me. I guess that's reality though? So here's to not reading about dudes having sex I guess...
I hate this, this is terrible, I've been feeling really good about all the sex stuff recently, but I guess it makes sense I would stumble into "damage" at some point. Blegh...
DRUMROLL FOR MY BLOODWORK RESULTS:
Estrogen: Way too high, dosage cut
Testosterone: they forgot to check???
????
Woke up at 8am today even though I had alarms set for 11am, guess work habits die hard. I also woke up again at 10am because MY SHITTY DOG WAS GOING ALL MODE OUT IN THE HALLWAY BLEGH
I feel groggy and moody and gay. I demand compensation from the state for these crimes.
Looked in the mirror and noticed that my hair is now at the perfect length
Reading some article, googling a women, oh she's trans, oh she,s my age, oh we came out at the same time, oh she's loved and supported by her community, oh she's been given countless opportunities because of coming out, oh gee, oh no
anyway i might shower for the first time this week, protip dont read the news, do not turn on the television
I have a confession, I don't know any of you lol
I don't read your usernames, I don't even look at your pfps. If I start to recognize you by your pfp and you change it, you're like a new person to me.
I feel like I've repeated myself a few times but that's cause I don't know who I'm talking to. As far as I know, you're a brand new person every time unless we're in replies and even then, if there's a new comment by you and I replied to the new one - I dunno who you are lol. Sorry if I repeated myself to you but I've been doing this for like 4 years and I don't anticipate anything changing
Parents misgendering me again.
I donβt have the heart to correct them, Iβm moving out in a few months.
Hopefully the next time they see me they will feel stupid ever having done it.
I've barely contributed to this thread today and that's
anyway, today was a great day
i have to go to bed. tomorrow i am going to PP and we're going to be discussing my hormone levels before and after starting HRT!
Good morning, cha--
Anyway there are two wolves inside me, one says "sexcomm NOW!!! sexmega NOW!!!!" and the other says "THE VOLCEL PEOPLE'S VANGUARD ARE ON THE SCENE!!" I did not get any awooga replies shockingly, just some boring fuckin cishets. A comm like that should be defederated though, to stop lemmitors sliding in and making Sexy Sexxers of Sexxit style dumb jokes.
Making me work on weekends is transphobia actually
I threw away about 80% of my wardrobe, I want to go for a more nonbinary wardrobe. Anyone has useful resources and such? For summer weather, I have to add, it's hot here and I feel it limits me quite a lot in this regard as I don't like showing skin that much. Clothes here are very expensive so I was looking to get some stuff over from Temu as I've gotten things from there before. I'm completely garbage at color theory or basic fashion
edit: and fashion advice in general, I always said I go for the practical looks but don't want to look bad
Okay chat, maybe I stayed up a little late last night and maybe I played an entire season of stardew valley and maybe I'm really eepy today. Some of the notable events for spring of year 1:
- Got a cat, named her mittens.
- On day 13 I made it to floor 9 of the mines and got the slime boss floor, made it out with 1hp and 3 thousand dollars (basically everything at that point)
- planted an absolute ton of cauliflower
- Gave a bunch of gifts, mostly to Leah and Abigail (no decisions have been made yet)
- I picked mushrooms and the tiller profession
- Just on day 27 I made 14k
- Started the summer with 13k in cash, the first backpack upgrade, a coop, level 20 in the mines and lots of stored food for my future kitchen.
I have since spent most of the money, mostly getting a ton of crops. My silly girl brain didn't upgrade my watering can during the final days of spring or use fertilizer on my 100 blueberries so
This game is so much better as a girl and every time an npc calls me my name or genders me I get a rush of euphoria.
t4t transbianism is the most pure acts possible
~~besides the constant sex but thats pure too~~
Dressposting #2
Today's dress is Henrietta's Victorian Doll OP!
As you can see, this one comes in two lengths, as is pretty normal for lolita brands to do. Of the two I prefer the short, but that's pretty normal for my preference since I like to get a little more leg visible so the socks can get some attention.
The dress itself is lovely of course, the theming is obviously historic so this falls under classic lolita, which means it's exactly my sorta shit since I'm particularly interested in that style. This one is actually quite similar to another, much cheaper dress I already own so I won't get it (+ I'm poor like usual anyways), it's currently on its reservation period if anyone is interested though!
I adore the ruffled skirt of this one, it's so pretty and looks so fun to twirl around in~
God and the bonnet! The lace motif they have here is gorgeous, and it pops so nicely on the dark red version. The lace motifs look phenomenal around the waist too. And it's all tied together with that lovely brooch and bow to draw the eye when you're closer up.
Wtf there's a picture limit? How dare they try to stop me.
transgemder.
I managed to get up before the afternoon today for the first time in weeks. it was because i had to for a psych appointment, but still pleased with myself. it wasn't even that hard to get up!
I got prescribed a new antidepressant, escitalopram, at the appointment. i have mixed feelings about antidepressants and have been very wary of them after a couple of negative experiences, but my depression has been so all-encompassing since the start of this year that I feel like I need something. also I wanna go back on prog, I had to stop it because it made my depression and mood swings worse but I'm hoping with the mood stabiliser/antidepressant in the mix it will have a better effect on me. so I'm gonna start taking those two things this week, wish my brain and boobs luck comrades:)
I have spent the entire day arguing with liberals on reddit, I regret nothing because I dunked hard on them
I got a really cheap rowing machine today. Got it assembled and did a 1km row at the medium setting. Holy shit am I out of shape.
I've lost track of how many things I've delayed
people constantly go on about the eroticism of food, but when i ask to be referred to as "chef" and have my commands acknowledged with "oui, chef" suddenly i'm the weird one
(hexbear canvas posting)
Reminder that censorship doesn't work hey comrades, YOU CAN'T KILL AN IDEA lol
who's moustache got drawn suspiciously close to the second coming of HEXBEAR?
I dont want to share this outside of the thread yet because I want as many anti communists to buy a print of the canvas as possible first, tee - hee, but I've been sitting on it for days and I'm tired of waiting.
I really hoped someone would make a height map of which pixels were covered the most because you'd totally still see our art that way, but alas (I'm not wasting my time doing it, but I considered asking for it "to see how bad hexbear got trolled" heh)
also wow I managed to get the .webp to upload to a comment but I struggled to get them to upload to posts, protip I guess?
>wife finishes Nevada
>says she liked it and wanted more
MY POWERS ARE INCREASING
being a good transgender and maining the only trans character in overwatch
these christian coming of age parties are fucking dead
barely know anyone here and dont feel like starting convos with strangers, atleast my goth getup is hella cool