this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
87 points (100.0% liked)

chat

8197 readers
288 users here now

Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

As with all communities posts need to abide by the code of conduct, additionally moderators will remove any posts or comments deemed to be inappropriate.

Thank you and happy chatting!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

"So yeah the son of God was on earth, but you just missed him. He was crucified about 50 years ago. Your dad might've met him."

And then Mount Vesuvius fucking explodes

Edit: I meant Roman, I wrote this late at night.

all 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wait, they are worshiping the guy that made bread and wine? Then went into a death an rebirth cycle? Are you sure they weren't confused and talking about Dionysis?

[–] miz@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago

Egyptian guy overhears the conversation and breaks in arguing about Osiris

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Why am I at Pompeii if I'm Greek

[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago

Southern Italy had a Greek majority until the middle ages.

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

Teaching a rich kid philosophy

[–] ComradeRat@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

greeks set up colonies along the entirety of the mediterranean sea from the west shore to the east and from the north to the south. They were settler-colonising in this way from around the 400s or 500s BC until they got owned by the romans

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago

goldern Greeks takin all the Roman jerbs

[–] Florn@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Chances are you're a follower of one of the myriad other wacky mystery cults floating around at the time anyway

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Oh, your messiah died? Mine is still alive in the next village over

[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago

Oh he just died? You're telling me now for the first time

[–] Florn@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago

I heard they're gonna be minting a new Messiah in Alexandria next week

[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago

Jesus is a revisionist of John the Baptistism.

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Why Greek specifically and not Roman?

Also Caesar and Cicero and some of the fall of the Republic all time greats were all crowded around this time period too. It was like MCU, but less lame

[–] KobaCumTribute@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago

It was like MCU, but less lame

No matter how cringe capeshit is it will never be as cringe as the Romans.

[–] The_Walkening@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

IIRC people in that part of the Roman empire commonly spoke Greek because of Alexander the Great's conquest of the area centuries earlier. So you'd be more likely to run into someone bilingual in Aramaic and Greek than you would Aramaic and Latin

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

I fucked up. It was late and my wires got crossed.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago

I'd probably be most incredulous about the Virgin Birth part. "Wait your God didn't turn into a goose or something so he could bang Mary on the sly? You sure about that?"

[–] Camdat@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

Highly recommend Engels "On the History of Early Christianity" if you haven't read it.

https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1894/early-christianity/

[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

In fairness Jews were very common in the east empire and gentile "god fearers" weren't uncommon either. They'd just be a particularly annoying gentile essene offshoot.

[–] Pisha@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I've always wondered why people were so ready to convert. Like, if I was some ancient Roman and some guy came up to me offering a new god that's even better than the old ones and much easier to worship, I wouldn't just immediately fall for it. It just seems like a scam.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

It did take a while, and I'm sure people called it a cult of Jesus or something back then too (Idk if there's evidence for that but there were many cults of Gods/demigods etc. in antiquity)

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Idk, what was holding you to the other guy?

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Me not getting torn apart by lions in the Arena

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

speech-r smuglord

Imagine this dude with a Centurion hat.

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Dear Nazerenes if your god is so almighty why doesnt he stop me from nailing you to this cross here

debatejak

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

it seemed positive if you were a woman or enslaved.

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Periodic reminder that the Roman Empire sucked, for everyone who wasn't a patrician.

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

Around that time the Gospels were all like zines, really popular in the growing christo-punk scene back then