this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.

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Fanart is by Syurii22.

Toyosatomimi no Miko is a character in the Touhou Project series introduced in its 13th installment, Ten Desires.

Miko was once Prince Shoutoku, a Japanese leader in the 600s known for promoting Buddhism and streamlining the Japanese government. In the Touhou lore, she was visited by Taoist hermit Seiga Kaku, who had heard about Miko’s longing for immortality. Seiga introduced her to Taoism, but she rejected it as a religion unfit for placating an entire country. She was intrigued by its promise of immortality, however, and privately converted to it, advocating for Buddhism to keep Japan stable. After drinking an “immortality elixir” (mercury sulfide), however, she was forced to let go of her body and become a supernatural hermit like Seiga, notably taking on the form of a woman, making her a canonically trans character (lets-fucking-go).

After convincing a hermit from a rival clan (Mononobe no Futo) to sleep without decaying, Miko followed in suit, waiting for a time where a Taoist Japan would revive her in search of guidance. However, Buddhist monks were able to keep her mausoleum sealed, and the legends surrounding her were slowly brushed off- which led to her transportation into Gensokyo, where the folklore of old is a reality of everyday life.

When she awoke in Gensokyo, it was right after Buddhist monk Byakuren Hijiri opened her own temple, however, leading to a surge of divine spirits across the realm, setting up the events of Ten Desires.

What look like headphones on her are canonically earmuffs- Shoutoku was allegedly able to discern between ten questions asked at once, an ability carried by Miko (although with her enhanced abilities, she can also analyze each person and determine their inner desires (thus the title of the game))- although it means her hearing is highly sensitive and has to be muffled to prevent pain.


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[–] pooh@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

PSA: If you're having any issues with funds related to transitioning, don't hesitate to reach out using the mutual aid comm! That's what it's there for and plenty of people here would be willing to help, including me. I talked this over informally with some of the other mods and we came up with these simple guidelines for making those kinds of posts:

  1. Don't get into specifics on what you need to use it for. "Transition related help" is all you need to say.
  2. Don't mention age, where you live (including country/state), or anything else that could be used to personally identify you.

Also, given that some of the resources out there use litecoin, you can also request donations to a litecoin wallet which may help you skip some otherwise tedious steps.

Since I started transitioning and spending more time in trans spaces online, I've noticed it's sadly common for trans people to encounter issues getting what they need, especially in certain US states or countries like the UK that are attempting to cut off gender affirming care. So, I wanted to highlight that this is always an option available to those who need it.

If anyone has any feedback or anything to add to this, please let me know.

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[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago (8 children)

gender dysphoria, regret, self-harmSaw the timeline of a trans woman my age that started HRT in early 2022. That could have been me, had I not wasted almost 1,5 years trying to get HRT through the gatekeeping healthcare system. I should have known better and just gotten started with DIY HRT right away. I could have been much further along with my transition by now. Maybe I would have gotten some hip growth as well, since I would have started before turning 25.

But no, I dumb me from the past chose to believe the people on r*ddit saying that DIY HRT is super risky and should only be used as a last resort. Now I hate myself and my body to the point of cutting.

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[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Close to 3 years ago, I went into a trans health clinic. This was the first time someone else had asked me to explain my gender, they were a nice intake nurse and all.

"So, terminal, in your own words, what would you say your gender is?"

I remember squirming and looking away at all the earlier intake questions, it's hard to talk about my anxieties or trauma or whatever. But this one, I looked at the nurse and said

"I am a woman" and that was that! ♡

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[–] Bat@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago

dracula-flow getting blown by christ call that the godhead

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago

She makes my heart flutter so much aaaaaaaaaaa hyperflush

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago (7 children)

I really want to try a dress on, but in the company of trans girls, just in case I really like it and they can call me cute and I can break down crying they can give me hugs. Would be awkward if I didn't like it, but if I do, I really want it to be a moment where I'm surrounded by gender affirmation.

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[–] Luna@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (12 children)

I was actually so happy this morning. It just hit me how much better my life is now, how much less dull everything feels, how good it feels to just be in my home, screaming and singing, in a skirt. With the school year starting, I have some time where there's nobody home, and I took that opportunity to just start singing again. I actually recorded some vocals alongside an instrumental track for some songs, and while most sounded bad, one actually sounded decent, in a raw kind of way. It's much better to study my voice in a singing setting, because it's less "ugh why do I sound like that" or "This doesn't sound like someone speaking" and more like "ugh, how do I improve that tone while maintaining pitch?" or "my screams sound like shit, what can I do to improve how they're picked up on the microphone?".

Let it be known that transitioning is going to get me back into singing, even though E doesn't change vocal chords. When I was going through benefits of HRT (literally everything), I was like "It would be nice to have a higher range and a more feminine voice". I was debating to myself whether or not I was trans in the first place, and I was leaning towards not. Do these sound like cis thoughts? I ask myself that a lot when I think back to a few months ago.

Sorry for rambling, and as a side note, sorry for posting too much lenin-dont-laugh . As much as posting is encouraged, I feel like some might think I have been flooding the mega with sub-par comments. I promise, that's not it, I'm just in a better headspace than I have been in a while, and I feel like sharing some of my thoughts. I've never really felt like I've wanted to do that before, I've always felt like my thoughts and emotions weren't worth sharing with others.

Love how a side note practically becomes a whole post of it's own.

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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

absolutely rolling in the euphoria of feeling my ass jiggle now. i'm finally graduating out of Hank Hill ass territory and I've never felt better before

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[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago (5 children)

toriel-snooze too exhausted to retain anything of value from reading so I'm attempting to get to sleep before midnight which is rare for me

goodnight blob-sleep hex-moon

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[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago (4 children)

had some really bad luck with my yearning recently. There was this cleaning lady at work on friday, she had a cute smile and wide shoulders with muscle and pleasant zero fucks attitude.... lea-blush

hetero married with kids lea-resigned

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[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago

Felt low-key pretty today.

Didn't do makeup or dress up. Hair just kinda looked good, and my skin is lookin clear.

I know nobody else sees it except me and my wife, but those are the people who matter most on the subject.

I think it's a win.

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago (11 children)

translating this ancient 2019 vegan cookbook that my aunt gave me to look through, but it's written in swedish negative

using my english, finnish and frankly awful swedish to puzzle these out, surprisingly fun meow-coffee

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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (4 children)

big foam finger that just says "estrogen #1"

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[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (10 children)
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[–] buh@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I would have liked if all the gay cartoons came out when I was a child rather than when I was in my 20s

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[–] Luna@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Some people edit comments to add or remove information/text. I edit comments to fix typos because I'm horrible at using the phone keyboard. We are not the same.

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (8 children)

I don’t really feel short, until I am walking and I see a branch and I’m like “that’s a pretty low hanging branch” and then I walk under it no problem niko-concern

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[–] Eco@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

@Tomboymoder@hexbear.net is too embarassed to post this so i will. me dunking on her

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[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (12 children)

Gendergthoughts™Ive been thinking through some aspects of gender and how I relate to it. Its so slippery! The closer I get to grasping it in my hands the more it wriggles and tries to slip free to return to the ocean (yes, gender is a fish).

But im trying to reconcile my understanding of myself as a mostly binary trans woman with my desire to live in a world where those three descriptors have no meaning, where there is no gender binary, where being "trans" is a logical impossibility, and where woman is, by virtue of there being no binary, a non-meaningful label.

I dont really have an answer. Being a woman is so meaningful to me, all of the positive and negative aspects of it together feels like home. So how can I want to live in a world where my home doesnt make sense? And similarly, just because it feels like home, doesnt mean I dont want to ever go outside. I live here, i enjoy it here, it is where I belong, and the outside is largely uninteresting to me. But sometimes, once in a while, i want to go stay somewhere else, another home in the city. Its in the same quarter as the home of "woman", but isnt the same. And similarly, sometimes i wish to leave for the woods, away from any conception of gender, where there is no pronoun, no social role, no class as relates to reproductive labor. A place where there is nothing at all. I dont reside in the forest, but sometimes i wish to reside there. But even the whole concept of "to reside" doesnt fit; there is not a place of residence, only the point where i am right now. So i suppose I dont reside in the house of "woman", i just spend a lot of time there. But that doesnt mean I dont spend time in the forest away from and outside of all conception of gender, or in that unnamed house that is close to woman but not quite the same.

There is no conclusion, no wrapping up. There is only that which is, i guess.

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[–] khizuo@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The COVID consciousness club I'm starting with my best friend looks like it's really going to get off the ground! I'm so excited. party-parrot-mask

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (9 children)
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[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)
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[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Did pretty good at a job interview, but I still got rejected trans-sad

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[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Today is such a gender day. All I did is put on my Lingua Ignota longsleeve, cargo pants, my trucker hat and and some earrings, but I am feeling so fucking comfortable in my skin and not dysphoric at all. Really grateful for making the decisions I have made to get me to this spot. I also have my first gender affirming surgery later this month, and am so fucking hyped. It only gets better from here. trans-undertale

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (9 children)

Someone just gave me the thought of me being a husband, all I can say is gross.

I did not expect such a visceral reaction to that idea. Actually disgusted me.

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[–] lilypad@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (9 children)

I ran in to someone i knew before transition today. I dont think they recognized me... I hope not... Idk, i just dont want them knowing me as him, as that fake person I created to protect me. He sucked. I mean, he served his purpose, but he was wholly fake. And he hurt me a lot. I dont want him associated with me in anyones mind.

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[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Feels like I've been stuck figuring out wtf to do with my life ever since I turned 18. I've made some progress within in the past few years, but I'm still missing the bigger picture. I think the main reason for this is because I've mostly just been alone in my room either gaming or scrolling through social media. I've lost interest in gaming this past year, but now I'm just on social media all day instead. Not exactly an improvement.

I need to actually get out there and try stuff out, explore who I really am as a person. But that means leaving my comfort zone. It's really difficult, and I haven't been able to do it before, so I'm doing something different now by going to therapy. It might be what's needed for me to start moving forward again.

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (15 children)

I feel very powered up in general terms. My wife is really good at makeup so I'm gonna get that lightweight "concealer/foundation/powder" etc layer done again tomorrow. Maybe even wear a skirt out again, Idk, could be rad.

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[–] khizuo@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (12 children)

I think I'm going to get into the trans lit class that I waitlisted lea-bounce I'm so excited

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[–] Tommasi@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Making up a scenario in my head where I go to prison so I can't take estrogen, then crying my eyes out over this completely fake scenario I just made up in my head wtf brain

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[–] Eco@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

i don't mind having the occasional bug in my house - this place is plenty big enough for the two of us - but do they have to insist on repeatedly flying into my face

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[–] Yor@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (5 children)
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[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 18 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Another cissoid left speechless by the incredible power of trans shitposting

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[–] yewler@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

Currently dreading having to teach tomorrow not gonna lie. I had a whole table get up and leave half way through class last week with no explanation. Basically my entire class failed the quiz last week because of their downright refusal to do anything I ask. I told them explicitly what I expect several times, and this really should have been a gimme quiz. I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but it feels like my entire class just hates everything about me and the class. Not sure how I'm to make it to the end of this semester with my sanity, especially since it's not even my class I'm teaching. I'm just doing what I'm told and getting so much shit for it. I've taught this class for 3 semesters now. This is the fourth. And I've never has this big an issue.

Also I get paid on a stipend that doesn't start until the end of September, so effectively I'm skipping a full month of being paid. Yippee

[–] Tommasi@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

mentions of sexSo for as long as I can remember I was extremely averse to people touching my chest. During intimacy I felt like I had to grit my teeth and power through it because it would be weird to say anything, but I always hated it. Now that I have boobs I don't feel like that any more, in fact I would want a partner to touch them during sex, and I'm starting to wonder if it was a symptom of deeply repressed dysphoria since way before I knew I was trans, especially since it's one of the areas I've been (and still is to a lesser extent) very dysphoric about.

[–] nemmybun@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Big anxious about this week. Not like in a something bad is gonna happen, just meeting new people and my brain is always like "you already know people, why do you need to know more? this is not okay"

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[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

It's my little brothers wedding soon! So excited for him.

But none of the dresses I bought early in hrt fit anymore 😕 boobs too big. I liked them... they were cute... all I have is a slightly short floral dress and something pretty gothy, I'm gonna see what my mom's opinion on them are

[–] Eco@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

i want to see my wife

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

I feel like my boobs are just stuck in an awkward middle place where they would be more aesthetically pleasing both if they were smaller and bigger.

[–] khizuo@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (10 children)

Ever since coming to school I've challenged myself to come up with a fun new outfit every day, and most of them have had corresponding make-up looks. I'm taking more pictures of myself than I ever have before. A lot of that is because I'm planning to start a personal fashion blog, and I'm building a backlog of looks to post; but also, it's the fact that looking at myself is no longer a constant exercise of dysphoria, when I'm inhabiting the form of gender expression that I feel most happy in (aka my weird goth-ish punk-ish maximalist look.)

Unfortunately, I do find that make-up is kind of a key part of being able to enjoy the way my face looks in photos. I generally do very dramatic eye make-up; because I wear a mask whenever I'm out, I do not really do much related to my lips or cheeks. (I tried to do some lips the other day and immediately wiped it off, I hated it lol.) I feel like, weirdly enough, my eye make-up has the effect de-emphasizing the femininity of my face. Tbh I do not like this new shift in my relationship with make-up; I started using make-up in 2022 as a form of queer self-expression and I've always tried to consciously stay away from using it as a tool to make myself look "better".

I'm wondering (hoping) that once I start T I will feel more comfortable in my skin, and I will no longer need to get all dressed up to feel gender euphoria. Of course I think I will always love getting dressed in elaborate weird outfits, but it would be nice to also feel euphoric when I'm in my plain grey sweatpants and sleep shirt.

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[–] Yor@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (6 children)
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[–] khizuo@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (14 children)
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