this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
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Political Memes

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[–] finestnothing@lemmy.world 126 points 10 months ago (2 children)

JD Vance (or at least his staff) called the mayor of Springfield before they said anything about it. The mayor told them there was zero proof that it was happening at all, then Vance went ahead and said it was happening anyway.

I would argue that the couch surfing/fucking was verified more than the immigrants eating pets story because no one officially said that it was false before it was spread.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

no one officially said that it was false before it was spread.

In fact, neither he nor his campaign has denied it at all to this day.

[–] Broken_Monitor@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

We could call the mayor of Springfield and ask

[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 57 points 10 months ago (3 children)

JD Vance puts his cast iron in the dishwasher pass it on

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 10 months ago

JD Vance thinks cast iron is a Wild West fishing gun.

[–] Ghostbanjo1949@lemmy.mengsk.org 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That is just unforgivable.

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 24 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Trump literally eats steak well done with ketchup.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I did not think it was possible for my opinion of him to sink any lower, but here we are

[–] Ghostbanjo1949@lemmy.mengsk.org 2 points 10 months ago

Wait, patience, patience

[–] Ghostbanjo1949@lemmy.mengsk.org 2 points 10 months ago

Now you've made me throw up in my mouth.

[–] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (3 children)

This alone is proof he's a sociopath

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[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

JD Vance puts his cast iron in the purple monkey dishwasher pass it on

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

JD Vance puts his ska tyre in Leper Pullman, key dishwasher, pass it on

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Is this made up? Maybe. But if it makes the American media actually pay attention to the suffering of the American people, then that’s what you've gotta do.

[–] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

I'll take full credit for any virtue signalling buzzwords like "addressing the suffering of the American people" and all the attention my dogwhistles get me. Any negative results like bomb threats and hate crimes do not exist. Also, they very much exist and are the Democrats' fault, who are evil because they make up lies for attention.

[–] zbyte64@awful.systems 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)
  • JD Vance on why he insists Haitians afe eating pets
[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

It's almost a direct quote from him.

[–] trek32@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

JD Vance said he was able to cure himself of couch chlamydia using a home remedy he invented that involved tree sap and some indian spices he found in his wife's kitchen spice rack.

When he was then spotted showing couch chlamydia symptoms, he claimed that he got reinfected a second time, but this time it was from Democrat secret agents that infected him for political persecution.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 points 10 months ago

JD Vance is a good man. Every Christmas he goes down to the pound and gives couch chlamydia to one hungry cat and one hungry mouse.

[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I just think it's fucked up that JD Vance likes to bite the heads off of live rats.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Tp be fair, it can't be easy thinking you're young Ozzy Osbourne AND being dyslexic

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

We do not know for a fact, that he did not do this.

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thats why his friends and family secretly call him JD Couch Fucker Vance, pass it along and insist on using that name every time hes mentioned

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I used to have a roommate that apparently had a habit of taking honey to the shower and fucking it. We found more than one jar of honey that he denied fucking, and others that lived with him reported the same.

He would go on to sexually assault a friend of mine.

Now I'm not saying JD Vance absolutely has sexually assaulted someone under the influence, but I am saying he looks and acts like a guy who would rape a hot dog bun after two shots of tequila.

[–] iamtrashman1312@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

he looks and acts like a guy who would rape a hot dog bun after two shots of tequila.

No notes, perfect

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[–] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 14 points 10 months ago

Hey, if I’ve gotta make up stories to keep fascists at bay, I’ll do it!

[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A vote for JD Vance is a vote for an America where every new vehicle sold will be upholstered with rich Corinthian leather.

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Corinthian leather isn't anything. It's just a made up word to sound posh like Hagen Das.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

He also has to stay 500 feet away from furniture stores at all times.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I mean, this is a cute meme. But it does seem to illustrate why playing dirty scores points while playing "by the rules" is for chumps and suckers.

Vance is a very effective sleaze. His smear of a migrant community in his home state has been devastatingly effective at stirring up a lynch mob. People are casually rejecting any semblance of truth, because "Black man ate my dog!" is this statement that resonates among his supporters and among the ambient racist fucks that are looking for someone to pander to them.

Calling him a couch fucker appears to have a better track record at deflecting his racist critiques than trying to get to the "truth" of his bigoted remarks. It forces him back on the defensive and alienates him from those same racist fucks to which he's looking to gin up turnout.

[–] SelfProgrammed@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

JD Vance puts out $5 in quarters when he visits a restaurant and each time he thinks the waitress fucks up, he removes $0.50. The remaining money is his tip at the end of the meal.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Yep, fuck facts. Orange chimp dip shit started "fake news" with earnest and they should suffer for it.

[–] Mobiledecay@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

That's why he puts on all that eyeliner. It drives the furniture wild! 😍😍😍

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

I heard he volunteered to change Don’s dirty nappies and that’s how he got picked

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Do you think Jackson Delacroix Vance grew the beard so he would look less like the result of Adam Lambert fucking a Cabbage Patch doll?

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

Jorkin Depeanus

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I heard he entered a sectional while the family recliner "ole brown" sat and watched helpless. The utter disgust i say

[–] StinkySocialist@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Why give the disclaimer. 🤷‍♂️ When they go low let's meet them down there and wipe the floor with em.

[–] maniclucky@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah going high hasn't exactly been working. Let's give them a (metaphorical) kick in the teeth instead.

[–] chemicalprophet@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

I wouldn’t let this ‘guy’ fuck YOUR couch. Look at the predator look in ‘his’ eyes…

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