this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
899 points (99.0% liked)

The Onion

4698 readers
843 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] JoYo@lemmy.ml 234 points 2 months ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 144 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 142 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 50 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 121 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike 88 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 27 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike 33 points 2 months ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 71 points 2 months ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 16 points 2 months ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 67 points 2 months ago

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

[–] Sasuke@hexbear.net 59 points 2 months ago

I'm glad Americans are finally waking up. Biden may not be perfect, but he is the only candidate who can beat Trump. I'll be doing my part by voting for him as many times as possible this November!

[–] Wahots@pawb.social 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 35 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm not even American but I've already voted for Joe Biden several times. Just wrote the name down on pieces of paper and mailed them off. Adressed them to Joe Biden too, so that shit counts double. Put some extra stamps on them, and that's exponential growth in the number of times I voted for him. I'm practically a swing state of my own, the way I'm swinging my massive votes around.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 33 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Im writting in Joe Biden this november biden-leftist

[–] nohaybanda@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Did you forget to ask someone? hillary-assassin

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

But a vote for Joe Biden is a vote for Trump!

[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

Based, thank you for your vote

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 23 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm voting Netscape Navigator. Lesser evil.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (7 children)
[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 76 points 2 months ago (5 children)

You might know him for his academic papers.

[–] atocci@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago

Among other works

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Alsephina@lemmy.ml 16 points 2 months ago

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

[–] WrenFeather@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

load more comments
view more: next ›