this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2024
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Should've told him that it's a good face mask tbh

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[–] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 52 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Imagine he reforms the country into a planned economy because he discovers the horrors of plastics

haha wouldn't that be funny

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 33 points 1 month ago

The death of The King choking on plastic wrap truly is gonna be what kicks off the revolution.

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 32 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Wait so not everyone owns a palace and swans and manors??! I thought the poors chose to be poor! That's what auntie Maggie told me! Why didn't their parents leave them an estate??! That's deeply irresponsible, did they spend their fortune trying to start a colony unsuccessfully like Scotland?"

"You're telling me the woman that was hired to raise me because mummy and papa were too busy died poor? They told me she moved to a farm (and castle) in the midlands! This is an outrage"

"Get me Lord Palmerston. Oh he's dead? Get me uncle Winston, I was told he did a fantastic job for the poors in India. Oh he's also dead? He killed how many people??! Get me auntie Maggie, she helped the poors in the north right?? Oh she's also dead? She did WHAT in Ireland? Is that why they hate us?? Oh good heavens, Diana was right, and my family convinced me she was an evil influence and we had her killed!"

Imagining Charles being a good natured but completely miseducated moron is a pretty funny scenario

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

He hasn't stopped shrieking since. And when the king shrieks, all of Britain hears it inside their brains. This will cripple their economy.

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

The only thing holding up their economy is Games Workshop so I think they'll just raise prices on their plastic toys and all will be well in britbongia. A totally serious country.

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Is Games Workshop British? That's pretty terrible by Games Workshop if so.

[–] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Does an empire of fanatical xenophobic colonists ruled by a decrepit corpse on a throne and maintained entirely through the sheer inertia of centuries old ritual and calcified institutions sound like something the british could come up with?

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No, the Brit is a weak willed and docile specimen incapable of higher thinking like geometry, empathy or imagination.

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 1 month ago

I feel horrible for any MLs stuck in Britbongia.

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 1 month ago

Yup. It's funny; when you look it up they're like "No no, we're international!!!" capitalist coping

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Plastic wrap? Oh now he won't stop shrieking till St Swithin's Day

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The closest thing to reality this guy ever gets is when the court asks him to explain his sweat gland disorder.

[–] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Was that him or was that Andrew?

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wait, they are different people?

[–] miz@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

it's easy to get confused, Lord Mountbatten was a pedophile too

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

They are, at least when they're not at their shunting parties

[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

It was Randy Andy, claims he got it by overdosing on adrenaline in the Falklands war lmao

[–] AmericaDelendaEst@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I googled this shit and all the articles are like "temporary anhidrosis is medically unheard of" but I literally didn't sweat for like 5 years

I didn't have "overdose of adrenaline" though, I had "all my skin came off from sun poisoning"

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

medically unheard of

doesn't that just mean that it wasn't confirmed by a professional, noted in some records, and had those records added to a pile from which statistics are drawn?

once upon a time, I was working as a bank teller and my coworkers noticed blood on my forehead, so I went to the bathroom and yep, there was a tiny amount of blood coming out of the pores of my forehead for no apparent reason (no pain, no visible injury, etc).

coworkers made me go to the ER, where I was eventually diagnosed with "a rash" and sent home

I never followed up with anyone about it

did a case of "spontaneous dermal bleeding of unknown etiology" get reported to the local health department that year? did they pass that on to the state? 🤔

[–] cRazi_man@lemm.ee 27 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Responding to something printed by The Mirror? The Onion does more reliable reporting than these guys. If people are looking for outrageous stories to comment on then the UK has plenty of publications that shouldn't even be used as toilet paper.

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Honestly I read it like an onion article. Didn't take it seriously. Laughing at greasy monarchs is funny, regardless.

[–] cRazi_man@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Feel free to enjoy. Just know you're reading a tabloid gossip rag. This story is likely entirely fictional.

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 1 month ago

Yup. Mirror, Sun; etc. It was a vehicle for a joke about the King wrapping it around his face

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

I dunno, this feels like a victimless crime, even if the perpetrator is unequivocally bad

[–] CarbonScored@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

Yeah. The Mirror is about half a step away from the Daily Heil (and had plenty of it's own nazi supporting articles).

[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago

Their crowns look photoshopped

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Idk where else to post this but

Anglo > English implies

Saxon > Sexish

The Anglo-Saxons could have gone down a slightly different route and embrace the Saxon part more than the Anglo part, but all else remains the same, we could be making fun of Sexish people instead of making fun of the English.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

they were given the choice between sex or being British and they made their choice

[–] KimJongGoku@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

volcel-judge what do you mean we could be

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

In this alternative universe I'd sound like a racist turbocrank over my refusal to call the british people sexish

[–] Krem@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

saxophone speakers in the saxosphere jazz-passion

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago
[–] CarbonScored@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

To be honest, it's a bit annoying seeing even this place buy into the UK monarchy sensationalised twoddle.

Yes King dumb, no he's not so dumb he doesn't recognise cling film, no he doesn't rely on potions. He's just some guy who's in a stupid position and should be deposed.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

no he doesn't rely on potions

Charles took an active role in trying to get the NHS to use homeopathy over multiple decades. The queen also had an official homeopathic physician.

[–] CarbonScored@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Oh for sure, I'm not saying he's not touting nonsense. I was referring to some similar bogus news story saying he eschewed all healthcare in favour of potions, which was based solely on a throwaway remark by Nigel Farage of all people.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah I'm just saying there's much more to this one than trite headlines.

https://www.the-scientist.com/the-unscientific-king-charles-iii-s-history-promoting-homeopathy-70544

Pretty decent summary. Dude is a dangerous moron and the day he dies will be a good one.

[–] CarbonScored@hexbear.net 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Once again, I fully agree. That isn't the headline I was referring to.

[–] niph@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

This place also loves leaning into making fun of how dumb Musk is, and I find it cringe for similar reasons. It’s still buying into the same circus

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 1 month ago

I already mentioned before to another commenter that I didn't take this seriously and used it as a vehicle for a joke about the King using it as a face-wrap because it'd be funny.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago