this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Screw debates, I want to see who makes the best ASMR video

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Vance couch fucking. Mics in the cushions.

Are you sure you want this?

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

🎶 let's get it on... 🎶

[–] seahorse@midwest.social 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Trump can rub two hamburgers together.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 months ago

just him gently chanting "bing bing bong" on repeat

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

White noise is made of samples with uniformly random values. If you generate enough of it with true randomness, it will include an audio recording of the past 24 hours in Kamala Harris's life. (Of course, you're as likely to stumble upon it as on any other possible 24-hour audio.)

[–] switchboard_pete@fedia.io 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"I'm Kamala Harris, and I approve this blessage"?! You stupid monkey!

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I like that you perfectly transcribed her encrypted call with Biden but why is it interspersed with "snarky commentary by Ben Shapiro"?

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Scary to think the election might come down to wich candidate has the better jre showing.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wanna see them both on hot ones

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Trump will melt by the 4th bottle

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 months ago

I can't see him getting past the 2nd. But will it be better or worse than dj kahlids?

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Oops! All Da Bomb

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Translation for our East Asian friends:

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Retrograde@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Was it tasty at least?

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 2 months ago

The Sleepy Joe vote!