this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2024
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[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 142 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Divorce rate may be too low.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 57 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's that the marriage rate has been too high for a long time.

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 32 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

That, and people become economicly dependent. They tried UBI when Nixon was president (I know right) and it was considered a failure because the divorce rate went up. What later studies showed was that the divorce rate went up because women in abusive or dead end relationships were finally empowered to leave the spouses they had become depend on.

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago

Successful experiment for them. Prove economic suppression was working to keep women abused carrying babies. Checked clipboard, doubled down.

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[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 48 points 3 weeks ago

Might be a good idea to divorce now before the conservative supreme court screws up that option too.

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[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 102 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)

How the hell are people married to people they are so afraid to share their beliefs and opinions with?

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 109 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

People change, sometimes drastically. But also people can pretend to be someone they are not. I know a few people who had to experience this kind of thing. Really fucks up your trust in people and your own judgement.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 76 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

My ex. Jesus Christ man.

She moved in and adopted my whole personality. Naturally, her own personality was fighting to surface and a person can’t bury who they are forever.

After more than a decade, she just lost it. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced, and you’re spot on about it fucking up trust in other people. It doesn’t have to, but it does take work.

In the middle of the chaos that was the collapse of my entire life, I remember one line from a letter she wrote me. “I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time. I know that’s probably hard for you to read.”

She had BPD too, so for three years, one moment I was god, the next she was sitting up in the bed at the end of an overall great day and saying, “I’m sorry. I just don’t love you anymore.”

She wanted nothing to do with me until I found someone else. She lost her damn mind, tried to kill herself, ended up hospitalized for mental health. That got her family involved and we had to fight them for our kid in court. It’s crazy how easy it is for a family member to kidnap your child. They told the magistrate that I held my family hostage with a knife, got a restraining order, and I just had to wait until court knowing that our daughter was scared to death and living through a nightmare on top of a nightmare.

Somehow, the woman I’m with survived all of that chaos with me. I figured she’d get tired of me driving out in the middle of the night over and over again to make sure my ex didn’t actually hurt herself.

Once she got to be herself though, she was alright. She met someone more like her. She went from laying in bed all the time hating herself and her life to taking care of things that she couldn’t before. She never got a drivers license and she was finally able to do that. She never cleaned and when I worked a lot our place was trashed, but her last place was immaculate. Poor girl died of breast cancer 4 years after we split. I wish she had left me years before honestly, so she’d have had a chance to really live.

Life is a mess. Some people do make it hard to trust other people, but we have to carry on and do our best. We’ve gotta work so that problem isn’t everyone else’s problem.

I have done my best to keep from carrying all that baggage into the relationship I’m in. I do my best to encourage her to just be herself. We get one short life, and I don’t want to have a hand in ruining it for anyone. Go see your friends, go be with your family. Don’t sit here alone because I do. Keep building your life outside of me. Maintain something of the world you lived in before you moved to ours.

Sorry for the book. I guess I needed to spit it out of my head again. I could write on this topic for several years straight and I still wouldn’t run out of shit to say about it. :p

[–] SmackemWittadic@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago

You seem like a great person. You were helping someone out even while they caused you some serious emotional distress.

I hope everything's all good for you now.

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 weeks ago

That was quite a read, thanks for sharing.

[–] itsworkthatwedo@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago

You should write a book about it. You have a good, simple style thats easy to read, easy to understand. It would likely be cathartic to write and could help others.

[–] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 11 points 3 weeks ago

That was a fascinating read and thank you for sharing. If it is any good, I'll be thinking about this for a long time.

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[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

People can also marry someone for reasons that they think are positive, but end up being a horrible negative. Sometimes people marry someone because the other person is stable and takes care of things but then it turns out that they are extremely controlling too but it wasn't obvious until later on.

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[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 42 points 3 weeks ago

"Spinster" is still a thing in a lot of places. A woman who can't find a husband is looked down on. Also, those are the places where men who are 'weak' are looked down on. Community is a powerful thing, which is why so many LGBTQ kids flee their home towns as soon as they can.

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 weeks ago

Religious oppression in the vast majority of cases.

[–] ninjabard@lemmy.world 24 points 3 weeks ago

Archaic societal expectations

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 24 points 3 weeks ago
[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 22 points 3 weeks ago
[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 weeks ago

Loneliness is a motherfucker.

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[–] Redex68@lemmy.world 87 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Ecosia being extremely based

[–] wieson@feddit.org 71 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

in a world

Immediately starts reading in trailer voice

[–] blackn1ght@feddit.uk 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

"where one man.... And one goat..."

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[–] mpa92643@lemmy.world 64 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

The top autocomplete for "can my wife" is "can my wife carry my gun" in case you were interested.

"Can my husband" is, in fact, the voting question.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Presumably those auto completes are tailored to each user.

[–] mpa92643@lemmy.world 24 points 3 weeks ago

I'm using Firefox Focus on a VPN, so it's not customized to me.

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[–] RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works 53 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Tried testing this with Duckduckgo and was not prepared to see this:

[–] haulyard@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I also got this, along with “Can my husband drink my milk?”

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 49 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

HAHA! That's great with their facial expressions, imagining them saying it. Bernie's excited

[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

For when you REALLY don't want your husband to live in Trump's America

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[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 35 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago (17 children)

I thought this might have been exaggerated, so I tested it out myself. I got as far as "Can my hu" before Google gave me a list of suggestions. At the top was "can my husband find out who I voted for."

I guess in one sense it's a good thing that this many people are trying to make sure that they can vote the way they want? In another sense...for fuck's sake. How the fuck are so many people so backwards???

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[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 31 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

the statement is true, but not even close to the much worse core problem

[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

People being too stupid to understand that you can't just break encryption for moral uses while keeping it intact against immoral ones?

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

that people are afraid to share who they voted for with their spouse

[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That really just seems like the special case of the general issue that too many people are in toxic relationships.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 11 points 3 weeks ago

Wait till the Church starts pushing back because of "the sanctity of marriage," and other outdated drivel used to compel obedience.

Tax and audit every church that has an opinion on voting and/or politics. Tax the fuck outta them.

[–] Qwazpoi@lemmy.world 31 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Here's what I got with duckduckgo

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 58 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

"Can my husband drink my milk"

I'm assuming this is about breast milk, but all I can think of is someone losing their absolute shit because their partner drank from the wrong carton of milk.

"I WROTE MY NAME ON IT, MICHAEL! MY NAME! IT'S MY PROPERTY! YOU'VE STOLEN A GLUG OF MILK! THAT'S ILLEGAL!"

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[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 18 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

while signed out of any account and with cookies cleared

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[–] JargonWagon@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago
[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (14 children)
[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hmm maybe Lycos shows personalized results?

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[–] horse_tranquilizers@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

In a world where Elon can make himself trending so can other influential people

[–] arscynic@slrpnk.net 15 points 2 weeks ago

…and it should possibly be a question for divorce.

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