I learned in my scandinavian class in college that they dug up a nordic tavern ruin, and inside found a stick with carved runes on it. When translated, it said something to the effect of "HELGA SAYS COME HOME RIGHT NOW."
this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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I always liked how archaeologists would dig up ancient statues of big-breasted and big-butted women and call them evidence of a "cult of fertility". I guess that sounds better than "porn".
Hmm. Interesting, indeed. Now please excuse me while I, once again, sacrifice my own bodily fluids on the modern-age altar of fertility which has been optimized over ages and ages into the convenient shape of a... sock.
I never quite understood that. Why a sock? Why not anything else?
I visited a 17,000 year old cave painting site in France, and the whole walk into the cave there are modern day graffiti signatures like "Bob, 1992" etc. but then you start to notice that the years go back further and further...1827...1761...1597. Then you get to the old cave art and it kind of feels like a continuation of the same shit, just some people leaving their scribbles on a rock like they have been probably since they discovered how to do it.
Do you remember any of the older names?
I don't know, can you make them out?
Cool, thanks for sharing!!
Galluspetat
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I liked the story about the "very high" runes and so I found a source. Apparently, the writing was "Tholfir Kolbeinsson carved these runes high up".
Souls players have been around for centuries.
Try finger but hole
Best use of a time machine ever, carve that in ancient Norse runes for future people to find.
Nah, go further back and carve next to all kinds of fossils the word "dog"
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Thing is, unless we first found it way later, people would just think they're referencing the runes.
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Kolbein must've been so proud.
Attaboy Tholfir
I would unironically watch something called 'Ancient Shitposting' that focused on old graffiti and pisstakes. It would still be more relevant to history than most of what is on channels with History in the name these days.
I want a spinoff focusing on animals fucking with humans in ancient times, like paw prints in bricks or on documents. Must be a treasure trove of hilarious antics throughout the times
I know a number of Roman and medieval European tiles have been found. I'm sure there's more around the world because cats gonna cat.
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Man has felt the need to leave his mark on this world since the very beginning. Not likely to ever change
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I would watch Ancient Shitposting religiously.
Too bad it would never happen on the history channel, it involves history.
They can always claim it's aliens. And then translate it all, with the people's names, and keep claiming it's aliens.
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I had a book of graffiti, one of them was described as an arrow written up a wall next to a urinal up to the ceiling where a message read "by the time you've read this message, you have pissed on your shoes."
My favorite was "a sucking chest wound is Nature's Way of telling you you've been in a firefight".
There's a pyramid with hieroglyphics carved onto the side that roughly translate to "This End Up"
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People think humanity is so much more evolved now but it has been actually the same shit from thousands ago or whenever recorded history goes back.
Also: portuga was here
Millions of years, likely. The whole reason we’re successful is because our pre-human ancestors were empathetic and cooperative enough to build societies.
We see those same traits in many other primates, and they’re not something it makes sense to evolve, lose, and evolve again. Those traits predate us.
Language almost certainly predates us, since we see it not only in other primates, but in non-primate species, too. And based on the humour we see in many animals, you can bet we were making dick jokes nearly out of the gate.
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Always has been. This is where the whole "Dark Ages" idea comes from, IIRC: people further on in time wanting to separate themselves as special and more advanced.
~~Ok, boomer~~ Agreed, dark ager.
Our ancestors' brains went from chimpanzee-sized to modern-sized (actually slightly bigger than today) between two million and one million years ago, and more importantly the language-governing areas increased in size during that stretch. So human beings a million years ago were very much like us today, just without the advanced technology.
Try finger but hole
They really understate Mozart. My favourite scatalogical composition of his is "Lick My Ass Right Well and Clean" where he compares his ass to nicely buttered roast meat: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leck_mir_den_Arsch_fein_recht_sch%C3%B6n_sauber
Super pretty choir piece: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkNePP0DX1A
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Probably not "Marcus is gay" since they didn't have a similar idea of sexuality, it being more or less a free-for-all.
Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men's behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.
Theophilus, don't perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog
I have buggered men
Secundus likes to screw boys.
If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice; she costs 4 sestertii.
The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
these are the greatest receipts I could ever dream of.
Yo Imma need Attice's digits, and a bag of sestertii
Commit to the bit. The bit is eternal.
Vikings (and Varangians) loved write silly things everywhere.
Those who forget the past, are condemed to repeat it.
Let's just forget everything, ok?
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