this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2024
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badposting

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badposting is a comm where you post badly


This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.

Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?


Rules:

  1. Do not post good posts.
    • Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
    • Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
  2. This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
  3. This rule intentionally left blank.
  4. If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.

Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo

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Discussion topics for us cis guys:

  1. It's not weird that I've been wearing the same shirts for the last 15 years
  2. Stop forcing me to do personal hygiene
  3. Nickleback is the best music, hands down
  4. My personality is that I like to play darts at the pub
  5. I don't need to wipe. My body, my choice.
  6. Apologising for making mistakes - that thing that other people like to do.

I can't wait to hear what the cis men have to say about these pressing issues.

top 44 comments
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[–] vovchik_ilich@hexbear.net 39 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You've been wearing the same shirts for the last 15 years because you're a boring uncreative cis guy

I've been wearing the same shirts for the last 15 years because fast fashion disgusts me

We are the same

[–] blight@hexbear.net 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’ve been wearing the same shirts for 15 years because I’m poor

[–] ImmortanStalin@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] blight@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago

please delete this picture of me

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 29 points 1 week ago

BORN TO SHIT

skeleton-motorcycle

FORCED TO WIPE

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 25 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Anyone who posts here is instabanned

[–] Parzivus@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Been a bit since we had a bait thread

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

Banned and form a new instance: Lemmy-no-showering dot cisguys

[–] Beetle@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago (4 children)

me, a freshly unegged trans guy using this thread as study material on how to blend in very-smart

[–] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Ignore #3. It's a trap.

[–] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Congratulations! Here's some tips for fitting in with cis dudes: Tell other dudes you're definitely faster than them. Feel awkward about wether to hug, handshake or solidarity. Have very strong emotions about a mid character from a TV show, Wabuffet from Pokemon, Jerry from Seinfeld or Birdperson from Rick and Morty for example. You need to be able to badly rap at least one song and show it off whenever possible. If you're ever in a situation where you're looking for smalltalk: Vague sports comment if they suck, ask a "would you rather" question if they suck less. For other ideas of dudeness search hexbear for "dudes rock"

[–] Beetle@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Seems like I’m already mostly there

[–] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You are already a man, so everything you do makes you fit in.. This is just fitting in with a specific type of man.

[–] Beetle@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Great point. Although I do find humour in enhancing my character by copying weird and harmless traits that are mostly associated with men

[–] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago

I think I can relate. I'm a man and I like doing masculine-coded things too. It's gender-affirming or something, I don't know the term for it.

[–] Kaveros@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You're also going to need some polo shirts, cargo shorts, and New Balance sneakers. Make sure to slap your knees and say "yep" whenever you stand up from a sitting position.

[–] Beetle@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago

Lol those clothing sound very American, idk if I’d blend in that well here on the other side of the Atlantic. The slapping knees is great though I’ll definitely put that to practice

[–] P1d40n3@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hygiene contradicts my vol cel pledge.

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago

o7 true patriot

[–] Sulvor@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Playing darts at the pub is valid

[–] HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think "Truck" is the other valid personality.

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago

Yes, thank you fellow cissy o7

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

It's absolutely valid. I just personally know a feck ton of boomer dudes who it's all they talk about.

[–] Poogona@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

you are going to have to come to my house and bring the fucking heat if you think you are gonna stop me from wearing these cargo shorts

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago

Thank you for your service 07

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Hey, I haven't been wearing the same shirts for the last 15 years!

I'll have you know that I got a new 4-pack of plain black shirts like 4 years ago!

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

like 4 years ago!

I'm sorry, but you must return your cis man ID card deeper-sadness

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago

Smh big trans comes for us all bateman-business-card Guess I need one of these now trans-uno

[–] BigLenin@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'll have you know that I got a new 4-pack of plain black shirts like 4 years ago!

I literally have a drawer of like 6 different plain black Dickies work shirts.

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

I also mix in some gray ones for variety, but same.

[–] BigLenin@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My personality is that I like to play darts at the pub

Okay I'll unironically defend this. Darts at the pub is one of the greatest joys in life.

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago

Am I the only one who knows a bunch of drunk old blokes, and all they talk about is darts? Maybe it's just me.

Darts is fine.

[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My tshirt never lasts more than 9 months

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

Sorry, you're not cis manly enough. You gotta stretch the wear out until there's barely any hint of colour left.

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

New shirts don’t last 9 months, but 15 years ago they made shirts that last forever. Who cares that there’s a bunch of food stains and tiny holes all over? Those three wolves howling at the moon still look sick

Those three wolves howling at the moon still look sick

side-eye-1 side-eye-2

It's just one wolf though I think. Also I might have thrown out that shirt, hadn't seen it used it in a long while

[–] dat_math@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago

I don't need to wipe

Somebody gets their regular dose of beanis

[–] KalleKatt@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

I haven't worn the same shirt for 15 years! It's been 16 years!

maddened

[–] hollowmines@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

I've switched to an all uniqlo all black situation to deal with my physically demanding job and I think this might be the stuff I end up wearing for 15 years it's so cozy and theoretically great for crimes

[–] Kaveros@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

If you wipe, then you have touched a man's ass and are now gay.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

pfft, I have some tshirts that are 20+ years old. I'm gonna toss em and go buy some pre-distressed limited edition streetwear crap from a SoundCloud rapper's cousin Lil Mike Mike for $70 each? no, sir.

it's called already being cool for the last 20+ years, ever heard of it?

so the neck line is stretched out all to hell? that's the look for kings like me these days.

[–] ProjectCyberSin@hexbear.net 6 points 1 week ago

Were guys, we keep a little dirt under the pillow for the dirt man