lmfao rest in piss anita bryant
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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depression/dysphoria/dooming
I've been crying all day. It hurts so much. I could barely talk earlier. So dysphoric about my voice. Just in general too.
I keep doing worse and worse. I've been "trying" (half assed and lazily) to get my shit together for years. Haven't been able to. I'm doing worse now. So how am I going to be able to now when I couldn't then.
I can't start hrt because I can't get better. I can't get better because I'm trapped in a disgusting man body with a disgusting man voice. There's nothing to do. I can't force myself to get better. To work on myself, to voice train, none of it. I can't. I never really could. Not quitting if I never tried.
I have failed life. So many things I will never get to see or experience. Because I'm a failure. All evidence points to me just being born wrong. Defective. Whatever ig. What makes a person turn out like this. I can't blame my parents. They tried. I wish I tried harder. Whatever. Hurts too much. What a shame. Not good enough to even try. I am such a disgusting waste of life. I wish I could give this to someone else.
Just wanted to say you're not alone, I always upvote your posts when I see them but I don't always reply because I don't know what to say since I struggle many of the same thoughts and feelings as well.
I can't start hrt because I can't get better
CW: alcoholism
I feel this so much, I might be able to start HRT soon but the closer I get to the day where they do blood tests to make sure my health is in order, the more I feel like my health is too fucked from years of general neglect and alcoholism. I tried to quit a while back, and managed a little over a month sober, but relapsed in November. I'm trying to commit to staying sober until then (I've at least managed to have some sober days in the last couple weeks, as opposed to near zero for most of my adult life), but I know it's too little, too late.
spoiler
Firstly, in terms of your health, you should of course quit and get sober and I doubt I even need to say it. If you need extra help you should seek it out, quitting can be difficult. Alcohol is quite harsh on a number of your organs and can give you cancer (which is much underestimated in the general population). If you're drinking enough a day, you may need medical observation to make sure you get through withdrawals okay. How much depends on your genetics and other factors, but generally if you're drinking first thing when you wake up and continuing through out the day that's about where you'd need medical observation. It sounds like you aren't drinking that much because you've been able to have sober days and even a sober month (congrats for that!)
The tests they'd be doing would be about your testosterone levels, your estrogen levels, and your electrolytes if the plan is to start on spiro. Alcohol and spiro aren't a great combo, it'll make you feel pretty weird. Alcohol can mess with your magnesium levels which in turns mess with your potassium, potassium is the one that spiro acts on. Spiro (spironolactone) is a potassium sparing diuretic, it acts on your kidneys to make you pee more but keep more potassium than usual. It has an off label use as an anti androgen. If they test your liver enzymes and iron - there's not really a reason to do it just for HRT - then they'd see how alcohol has been affecting your liver. When you've started on E, eventually you will be closer to how cis women are affected by alcohol. Yes it will take you less to be more drunk and it will affect your health more with fewer drinks.
I don't know if this is the case for you, but I've found a lot of people with a - let's say problematic relationship with alcohol tend to rely on it as self-medication for anxiety. Anxiety is also super common with trans people. If that sounds like something you're dealing with, see if you can get on something like an SNRI and/or getting a short term benzo as needed for panic attacks (if you have them). Those kind of psych meds do not play well with alcohol, one drink every once in a while is fine but every day would affect you way differently than you might be used to. You could, again if this is something that affects you, also seek out some therapy and get tools for dealing with anxiety in addition or instead of medication.
Quitting is hard but doable, you can do it! You made it one month before which means you can do it again. Peoples' bodies are generally pretty resilient especially before advanced age (think like over 70 lol). If you start picking up good health habits like limiting or quitting alcohol, eating a more balanced diet with plenty of fibre, and making sure you get at least 30 minutes of activity a day you will be in pretty great health in short order! There is no "too late to start" it will always benefit you β‘
Thank you, knowing you (and others here) are listening helps. I don't know what to say either. I'm sorry you have the same struggles.
spoiler
Good job being even a little sober. Its hard. I hope its not too little. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well, please update when you get your tests back.
Boobs are growing again. Also probably more important than size for me is that they're getting a lot rounder and less awkwardly shaped
Lord help me quit TikTok. Iβm so tired of the weird prescriptivism that invades queer discourse there. And what happened to the trans prime directive? Every single video with someone saying eggy shit is full of comments just telling that person theyβre trans and to start hormones. And it understandably freaks people out. Itβs the same 3 egg jokes over and over and the person gets absolutely no support because people are too busy making inside jokes. Not to mention everyone jumping straight to the person being not only trans, but binary trans.
Itβs the same 3 egg jokes over and over and the person gets absolutely no support
doesn't seem like shit has changed since i uninstalled. i think people on there are too conditioned to the whole "follow up video resolves everything" thing, so expect to see someone fully come to terms with an earth-shattering concept like being trans on-demand (lol maybe they should all read Nevada). egg prime directive should seriously be respected tho
i've actually been so much happier after getting off the app but finding things that fill the attention void is the most challenging part. i support your endeavour to quit
silly but positive, kinda gender euphoria
I still only play games on my old 360 lol but I updated my avatar awhile ago and it's stupid but it really made me happy
The old one was my awkward teenage egg self
Now I have tits and a MJOLNIR helmet that matches my Reach Spartan and it's sick imho
A thrift store near me is doing a sale where a ton of the stuff there is 80% off and the rest is 25% off so I might be taking home a giant haul
one of the nice things about working at a small company is sometimes your boss and half the team will just randomly leave 5 minutes before a meeting, and then you don't have to do the meeting
and I have no idea where they went, based on the timing I would assume lunch, but based on the people who went it could be a midday hike
what are good things to do with puppygirls im new to this
give a puppygirl a fish and you'll feed her for a day. give a puppygirl a fishing rod and she'll bring it back to you wagging her tail
give them an xbox controller and they will play video games
this works on many types of girl
i only respond to playstation controllers tbh
ok serious answer it kinda depends on how the person in question sees it?
as far as I can tell from some research on this front, theres defs at least one kind of puppygirls to want a space to turn their brains off and just do simple things - some of them like praise, some are sick of constantly having to think all the time and solve problems, etc. There may or may not be a sexual component to it, depending on the person, as far as I can tell. (I am in this category)
I'm sure there are pups out there who don't want to bark on command or be taken out on walks or be given "treats." I dont know as much about those kinds as I'm not sure where to find them. Maybe there are some on this site :)
I suspect its all highly variable so probdbly the only real thing you can do is ask what this person gets out of it themselves. then the real brainstorming can begin
I am Godβs eepiest uppy
I'm missing out on formative years by not having an ex by now, all the ex jokes I could be making as a jaded 30 something year old π
very mild injury mention
rediscovering the joy of model making (accidentally knifing myself when my hand slips while struggling to do a conversion i thought was gonna be fun and easy)
don't worry the glue on my fingers sealed the cut up immediately -_-;
CW: Extreme depression, dysphoria
My brain is screaming out in agony tonight. I was watching GDQ and a lot of donations started to come in about how trans folks families were so accepting and supportive. What a stark difference between them and myself where I lost literally everyone except for my mother. I even lost my fucking husband. It's so painful. I'm so happy others had it better than me, but gods it's killing me on the inside and I just want to cry. It hurts so much. Sometimes I wish I wasn't trans and this is one of those moments. I fucking hate everything right now.