this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 58 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Imaginary numbers do imaginary things

[–] SchillMenaker@hexbear.net 19 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Uhh, my portfolio just dropped to $(√-1). Do I hodl?

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I’ve got a whole trunk load of Copenhagen. What now?

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 6 points 5 days ago

Oh shit oh fuck

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago

write the rest of that song

[–] leftAF@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago

This specifically is likely due to losses but also due to a large withdrawal or something.

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 50 points 5 days ago (1 children)

They have really turned on Donald Trump, which is kind of interesting considering the amount of slurs.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 29 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Well see the problem is Trump isn't conservative enough

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 47 points 5 days ago

windows xp shutdown noise

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 35 points 5 days ago

In hindsight, it was very naive of me to assume that whole Gamestop/Robinhood fiasco would have taught these nerds that this shit was rigged from the start even if you followed all the supposed rules.

The game does not exist so the rich can play it. The game exists so the rich can win it and have it look like they won it fairly.

[–] daniyeg@hexbear.net 46 points 5 days ago (2 children)

on the other side you got the bears that just quadrupled their money on put options. bears are always losing let them have this moment.

[–] john_brown@hexbear.net 28 points 5 days ago (2 children)

i have the bear phenotype and yet i have not quadrupled my money what am i doing wrong

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 27 points 5 days ago

You are woke, therefore you are broke. Those are the rules, sorry.

[–] daniyeg@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago

you would if you had gambled all your money (and your grandma's pension money), borrowed on top and marginmaxxing and put all of it on out of the money put options on NASDAQ.

[–] Cocopanda@futurology.today 40 points 5 days ago (5 children)

How do these tater tots even get so much money to start with.

[–] fox@hexbear.net 60 points 5 days ago (2 children)
  1. Liquidating crypto they bought or mined when it was cheap to do so, and winning the gamble it would go up
  2. Taking debt and investing with the hopes of beating interest rates
  3. They don't have that much and they're doing leverage plays and getting burned
  4. They're lying and doctoring screenshots
  5. They're working in lucrative jobs in finance or similar and blowing their savings
[–] blame@hexbear.net 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

i think a lot of it is margin which is extra risky

[–] Inui@hexbear.net 19 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Its definitely this one. Robin hood is still used for its simplicity (the other more 'serious' trading apps are pretty garbage) but because they also approve hella margin for everyone.

[–] kittin@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago
  1. Being born into it and inexplicably assuming that meant they were smart
[–] porcupine@lemmygrad.ml 37 points 5 days ago

the same way every other rich person gets their money to start with: from their parents

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 30 points 5 days ago

A very small number, like 1 in 10000, make like a 10000% return on something that normally would have lost them every penny and post something like this when they try it again and lose. It's pretty sad. Many with bad gambling problems.

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 29 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)
[–] Lamprey@hexbear.net 24 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

(Lower middle class Job + no social life) x years = a modest amount of money

[–] CocteauChameleons@hexbear.net 20 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

From my experience, living with the parents and having no social life, it’s pretty easy to gamble on the stock market even on 15hr. So I can imagine someone who lives with their parents and makes 50k-100k could be moving fat stacks of cash on the market

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 32 points 5 days ago

sicko-hexbear The Hexbear market strikes again!

[–] buh@hexbear.net 23 points 5 days ago (2 children)

alexa what is portfolio balancing

no seriously, I am completely clueless

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 18 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Its just buying different shit. You might pick up some stocks from some different sectors, maybe some bonds, some commodities, etc.

The issue right now is that everything is tanking.

[–] Firefly7@hexbear.net 24 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Even with everything tanking, it’s impressively bad investing to lose 100% of your investments on a <15% overall stock market downturn.

[–] Hexboare@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago

give me enough leverage and I can accrue more debt than the world

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

That's what options are for!

[–] merthyr1831@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 days ago

Ah that'll be it. They've gambled their entire portfolio (if you can even call it that) on a bunch of put options that suddenly became impossible to fill the moment the market rebounded. 5-dimensional chess move.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

Buying a basket of blue chip crypto projects

[–] utopologist@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago

Looks like you still got a cent there. Get back in the game!

[–] merthyr1831@lemmy.ml 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

...how? markets are bad but how do you lose 100%?

EDIT: Probably gambled the entire balanced on put options just before the tariffs were reversed lmfao

[–] Fishroot@hexbear.net 20 points 5 days ago

The supply is 0 so the price is infinite

Just supply and demand

[–] wanderwisley@lemm.ee 14 points 5 days ago

If we are being honest r/wallstreetbets are always going through something.

[–] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 11 points 5 days ago

Those Bed, Bath and Beyond holders are going to be really upset.

[–] Comrade_Mushroom@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago

oh no, numby go down

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 5 days ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

Didn't sell when warren did smh idiot

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 5 days ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy: