this post was submitted on 14 May 2025
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"We need to sex up your wardrobe. What do you mean you're not comfortable wearing that? Oh honey, don't be such a prude, all the girls are doing it and you want to be successful don't you? No one's going to watch someone that dresses like their grandma."

I get sick and tired of so called leftists equating exploitation to sexual liberation.

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 52 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I feel as if a lot of people don't grasp consent that well

People can dress how they like and they shouldn't be subjected to harassment for it

It's that simple

Unless they're wearing something reactionary, in which case, they should be egged until death

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago

Exactly this.

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago (17 children)

What's the vegan version of egging a reactionary mf?

[–] Real_User@hexbear.net 30 points 1 week ago
[–] CommunistCuddlefish@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

Throwing rocks at them

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

If you want the runny/drippy sort of effect, tomatoes (especially overripe ones) can do a decent job.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago

Flax eggs

But we can freeze them first so they're hard

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[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago

Oh no, they certainly do.

Just bonk them in the face after they said some victimblamey stuff, and you’ll quickly see that they understand consent perfectly well. They just don’t give a shit when it happens to other people. That’s all.

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[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 49 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I already have the most sexed up wardrobe, I've got an exact replica of Lenin's outfit

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 33 points 1 week ago

mods please ban for posting thirst bait

[–] SwitchyandWitchy@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There's drip and then there's the deluge this man's got.

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[–] insurgentrat@hexbear.net 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (11 children)

That's not prudish that is reasonable. Prudishness is when people think less of people who enjoy sexualising themselves or demand that perfectly harmless behaviours be 'kept behind closed doors' and so on.

Edit: to be concrete if you find sex as a hobby more controversial than carpentry you might want to examine why. Or if you complain about 'public displays of affection' but think that people whinging about punks playing street music are frustrating boomers maybe you're confusing your own preferences with moral truths.

But sexual liberation is for everyone, including people that want as little sex as possible. It's about a world where we respect each other, and recognise that what people do or don't do doesn't suddenly become a huge fucking deal because it relates to sex and sexuality. Wanting to avoid sexual attention, or not caring one way or the other, is just as valid as wanting to center your whole damn life about it.

We're all just food for worms.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Edit: to be concrete if you find sex as a hobby more controversial than carpentry you might want to examine why.

It's bullshit really. It's perfectly fine and normal for my neighbours to wake me up a 3 in the morning with their hobby, but if I take out my hammer and nails to finish off that chair, suddenly I'm the bad guy!

[–] insurgentrat@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Noise pollution ordinances are a fascist conspiricy to keep the shift-working chainsaw sculptor down.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Better struggle session setup than the 3am dirtbikes tbh.

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[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 39 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Really don't comment on people's appearance unless its positive (and not positive in the sense of "I'm helping them!", like genuine... idk), and even then never with strangers.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I saw a guy with a cool mohawk the other day and I said "nice hair" and he looked like he thought I was insulting him. kitty-cri

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Unfortunately the ironic compliment has destroyed a generation of people's ability to take any compliments

Which is why i always respond to compliments with "Thanks, it has pockets!"

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think when it comes to critical comments the "can it be fixed in 10 seconds" rule is great.

Someone has something on their face? Tell them they can fix it.

They look tired? They can't help that shut up.

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago

I think a big part is trust of the person saying it. Plenty of people have appreciated it when I've notified them of a make-up gaff (that they were previously unaware of). (also I usually look slightly concerned for them)

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[–] Angel@hexbear.net 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's really just acephobia.

Leftist and even specifically queer spaces struggle enough with allonormativity as is, but these kinds of takes (calling people prudes for not wanting to sexualize themselves) are just explicitly acephobic, whether they intend to be or not.

[–] Lucien@mander.xyz 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

God, thank you for this. My partner and I are both ace and we get called prudes a lot for being repulsed by a sex scene in a movie or a dirty joke or something. "Grow up, you're not 11". BUH.

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[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This might cause a struggle

I hope not, it's an entirely reasonable take.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

I made this post because of this recent post https://hexbear.net/post/4904490 which complains about how "prudish" and "puritan" we are.

I usually don't do this but we have been getting an influx of people obsessing over the "loneliness epidemic" stuff and it's starting to bother me.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've noticed that a bunch of dudes with "problematic" opinions all joined around a month ago. And all of them seem to be determined to make this "their space" instead of accommodating their attitudes to match the space.

As a cis(?) white dude, it's basically what we've been taught subconsciously by society, that you need to "make your mark" on a space. Thankfully, this is one of the best places on the internet to call out that sort of behaviour.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Where are they coming from???

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My conspiracy brain says fedposting, but it's probably just coincidence and me not understanding the linear passage of time very well. I say "a month ago" but that could really mean anywhere from 3 weeks ago to 3 months ago.

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[–] combat_brandonism@hexbear.net 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

first pronouns OP on that thread has is they/them, comrade

don't disagree with your point, and it's annoying when people (deliberately, imo) misunderstand the volcel bit, but we don't have to misgender those doing it

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago

Sorry about that, I changed it to be less gendered.

[–] marxisthayaca@hexbear.net 26 points 1 week ago

Folks don't realize how good we have it here. We purposely avoid a lot of sexualized comments and hornyposting. Mods try to be on top of things. And for opsec reasons we avoid posting people's faces. Reddit was so fucking terrible with the comments, the chasers, the "my ladies". Leftist circles already have the terrible reputation of men like Barack Obama using their booklist as a way to pick up girls. People treat the DSA as a dating service. One of the OG admins here had to resign for accusations of dming inappropriately with a person in discord.

That shit causes a lot more trouble online than what it's worth.

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (7 children)

oh god no. that post sucks ass.

rant, CW: talking about porn and kink, specifically chokingi've noticed this rhetoric, that porn addiction isn't a thing, multiple times here lately. i don't quite get it, but it seems like they're trying to excuse porn consumption as, likee something that doesn't impact anything? which seems very incorrect to me. as someone in bdsm spaces (insert joke about ace ppl being rly into kink here), we've noticed an increase in hardcore acts being normalized in vanilla spaces. this coincides with them being normalized more in porn. the most obvious one is choking. breath play is really fucking dangerous and requires clear consent, but since it's normalized in porn (where consent can HOPEFULLY be discussed off camera), it becomes normalized in vanilla, where consent rules are NOT really heavily used.

and you can argue this is an issue with most cishet ppl, "normal sexually liberated people" as said in the post, not understanding consent, but acting like porn had no influence on this trend is craaazy. and acting like people are evangelical freaks for being concerned about the normalization of hardcore sexual acts through porn makes me s upset

also acting like it's not a real addiction people deal with is super invalidating. obviously anything can be addictive.

i really hope this doesn't become a trend, since this is the only like, site i can use that isn't overly horny and exploitative all the fucking time

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i've noticed this rhetoric, that porn addiction isn't a thing, multiple times here lately. i don't quite get it, but it seems like they're trying to excuse porn consumption as, likee something that doesn't impact anything?

It's very suspicious rhetoric, it's both "no problem at all" but also it is a huge problem that people are worried it might be a problem? So the people concerned there might be a problem are the real problem. Which sounds very "status quo warrior" to me. I've heard that sort of "raising concerns about an issue is the real issue" thing too many times to count.

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

they also label the only people who could possibly be concerned about it as evangelicals. from what i've seen, the reason evangelicals love the idea of a porn ban is to ban "corrupting" influences that can be labelled as porn, namely LGBT stuff. it certainly isn't because they think it's exploitative of the sex workers, lol

so yea i agree, deeply suspicious

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's one of those topics that people get way too defensive about. I think a lot of people who consume porn don't want to think of themselves as bad people for doing so, so when they hear "porn is potentially harmful" they think "you're a bad person for watching porn" and shut down and refuse to engage.

I literally draw the stuff for a living, and I can absolutely see the issues with the industry (granted, real people is obviously quite different from drawings, but the art side of porn and the fetish community have their own host of issues that people never seem to want to address.)

I don't want to be too reductive, because it isn't everyone, but a lot of people who make this sort of argument seem to be worried their treats will be taken away if we acknowledge bad things about the treats.

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

oh it's just the same reaction as vegans get huh

omg is this just the vegan struggle session again

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago (4 children)

All struggle sessions are the same, it's always people fighting their treatler impulses. manhattan

The only way forward is to reject everything and live a life of pure asceticism.

I joke, but based on what I've seen (or how I interpret struggle sessions) it always does just seem to be one party who wants to have morally uncomplex treats and distractions, and doesn't like that their actions may have consequences for them or others. I've probably got quite a few treats myself that if someone called them out I would join the treatler side of the discussion.

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[–] insurgentrat@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

choking. breath play is really fucking dangerous and requires clear consent, but since it's normalized in porn (where consent can HOPEFULLY be discussed off camera), it becomes normalized in vanilla, where consent rules are NOT really heavily used.

Holy fuck. I used to be heavily into kink and into some kinda extremely play, but like what happened to RACK? You can straight up die when breathplay is involved.

The risk is small, but you need clear consent and a plan for what if heart attack etc. Holy shit we used to be dorks swapping lists of what we were into or willing to consider before ever doing a scene. Has the culture gotten that fucked?

One time someone slapped me without discussing it prior and I had to give that mfer a lecture about cranial and spinal anatomy, consent, and the importance of bracing the skull. I thought that was an extreme mistake.

[–] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] insurgentrat@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago

Ah yes sorry, I hate it when people include weird acroynms without defining them. I cannot live up to mine own ideals.

To explain to the peanut gallery, a movement in kink culture that views kink not as an activity which has to, or can be, 100% safe. Instead it focuses on clear scoping out of risks, strategies for mitigation and clear consent by parties aware of them.

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[–] Farvana@lemmygrad.ml 19 points 1 week ago

I think both posts are complaining about the same thing: policing each other's behaviors and expression of sexuality.

Maybe a lot of incels/gooners bring their lack of sex on themselves by not considering others desires or experiences. Until they figure that out, they have to be removed from common spaces. The loneliness epidemic is self-inflicted (and exacerbated by patriarchal capitalism).

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[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 35 points 1 week ago

The older i get the more i appreciate people checking in before discussing sex, or mybody, or actually just dont talk to me if youre a sexpositive loser enthusiast.

I will be wearing jeans and a tshirt, don't tell me I won't be sexualised for that anyway.

solidarity.

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 32 points 1 week ago

hard agree. i absolutely hate being leered at by men and people act like me dressing to avoid that is me falling to the patriarchy, or something? like no, me needing to wear long skirts instead of short skirts to not be leered at isn't on me.

also i am not a prude for not liking random male-gazey sex scenes

[–] Binette@lemmy.ml 31 points 1 week ago

As an ace, I would like to add that calling a sex-repulsed ace a prude is aphobic. l'm not sex repulsed myself, but someone asking you to respect their boundaries when it comes to sex-related topics or not being comfortable around sexual media isn't prudish.

[–] abc@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I don't even think the original post you made this post in reference to said anything remotely like that but the title of your post is not wrong.

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[–] Staines@hexbear.net 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I'm annoyed that our ace users are being exposed to this discussion. Not every space has to be sexualised. It's not prudish, it's just respecting people's differences.

Please just spoiler tag it. It's not a big deal.

Yes, our site culture is a little different - it's trying something unusual - but for some people having an extremely LGBTQ positive space where sexual content is opt-in is like drinking the most refreshing glass of water you'll ever experience.

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[–] buh@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

grandmas tell the coolest stories

[–] Lucien@mander.xyz 17 points 1 week ago
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