See this casio watch? Still more accurate than whatever the fuck watch you have

"People with true value don’t need trinkets to convince others of their worth."

"Not everybody knows how to make the best use of their resources."

"Unless it has a button that stops time, you paid too much."

If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you've already lost.

Sorry I'm not into bracelets

"Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

Does 0 to 60 in ONE minute! It's garbage.

Smile really big and start laughing. Maintain the smile, maintain eye contact.

Yeah, but can your watch drive you to the store ?

You see this? This is called a "smart phone." Not only will this tell me the time like your watch, but it can also do a bunch of other things. I can look at pictures of raccoons wearing silly hats or I can use it to insult someone on the other side of the planet. It also cost a fraction of what your watch cost. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think it should go and get your money back. It sounds like you've been scammed. As a matter of fact, let me give you my friend's phone number. He's an accountant, and I think he'll be able to help stop you from making stupid purchases in the future.

"Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark."

"My wealth is in stocks"

“Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden”

"You got it wrong, expensive watches dont go faster"

The statement is to set them apart from from you and to display power. So you could go with something like,

"Shit, they still make you buy your uniform when you rich eh. Some things never change."

But more elegantly. Reassert that they are subject to others' power/approval and relate to them to assert that they're no different from you.

"I don't have the habit of looking at other people's watches. Thanks for pointing it out, I guess, I might have otherwise missed that detail entirely."

(Biz-bro mind cannot comprehend this)

"What's your point?"

And it tells the same time as a $5 Casio, but it's heavy and gaudy. I guess money can't buy taste.

"Oh, am I supposed to kiss it?"

"Wow, you're really shit at bargaining. They really took you for a ride!"

"Oh, well this gun costs less than your watch, and yet: hand it over."

neat

Jokes on you, with the deferred maintenance, my car has negative worth.

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

"Cool story bro. Needs more dragons."

You paid that much for a watch that looks like you steal from your grandad?

“Why would I own a car? Our public transportation works fine. Or a watch, since I can already see the time from my mobile phone.”

"and yet your dad still don't love you."