this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 33 comments
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[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 1 points 28 minutes ago

Get another carrot and when they come home just start chompping down on it nonchalantly. Total power move to establish your dominance.

[–] MyNamesTotallyRobert@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (2 children)

I don't understand why people leave their sex toys in the shower. One time when I was a teenager I was masturbating in the shower and accidentally got cum on my sister's dildo. I had to scrub that thing with all the soaps, bleach, toilet cleaner and just everything soap related I could get without anyone finding out. I guess I got lucky because no one ever found out and she didn't mysteriously get pregnant afterwards.

[–] CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world 2 points 15 minutes ago (1 children)

Fuck what a terrible day to have eyes.

[–] Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world 1 points 3 minutes ago

I curse the day I learned to read.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 72 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

There's a myth that carrots are good for your eyesight, but what's interesting is that carrots are actually really good for your memory. I lost one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot that moment.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 22 points 14 hours ago

That aquaglide tells me someone was trying to get their 5 (inches) a day. Stay healthy bitches!!

[–] smegger@aussie.zone 51 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

There are no bites in that carrot. I'd avoid touching it

[–] sramder@lemmy.world 36 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Could have just been washing it for later consumption. Best to see if it’s still warm.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 8 points 16 hours ago (2 children)
[–] sramder@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

IDK man… in my experience vegan balloon-knot and carrots 🥕 🐖🦩🎟️🤙

I’m just guessing on the vegan part obviously…

College is tough, sometimes you just forget your carrot in the shower. —Sigmund Fraud

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

Why stop there?

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 7 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

This is remarkably common among visitors to A&E.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 3 points 11 hours ago

Have you seen the price of dildos? I can't blame people for getting creative with household objects!

[–] Vinstaal0@feddit.nl 3 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Accident and emergency people?

[–] QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I think it is accident and emergency wards

[–] Vinstaal0@feddit.nl 2 points 11 hours ago

Now the sentence makes more sense ....

[–] molten@lemmy.world 11 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I'd eat it. I don't mind leftovers and I hate waste.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 13 hours ago

it might be that it wasn't used for eating

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago

It might go well in a fresh salad or stew.

[–] Hikuro93@lemmy.world 9 points 16 hours ago

No one does, judging by the look of that one. 🤫

[–] dalekcaan@feddit.nl 6 points 15 hours ago

Give it a nibble. You might like it.

[–] DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago

Never heard of a Shower Orange? Just a veggie version of that I imagine... I'm sure...

[–] MuskyMelon@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago

I don't think that's for eating

[–] sramder@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago