221
Childbirth Rule
(files.catbox.moe)
We did this after space travel and programming language.
It seems like a great way to send ~50% of the babies birthed out in space. Just remove the net, speed it up, and tilt it 90°, then you have a coin flip chance at space babies or crater babies.
Have you ever read anything so absurd that you just start laughing uncontrollably but it's after midnight and you don't want to wake your spouse so you real quick clamp down to hold it in and then your gut hurts from all the heaving?
Sometimes it is worth the brief verbal abuse and getting slapped with a pillow by an exhausted SO.
This is due to underrepresentation of women in science. Sure we send a phallus to the moon before this.
Sometimes scientists think about if they could, not if they should.
I think calling the designer of this contraption a scientist is being very kind to him.
I assume it was a him? right?
I just looked it up, it was apparently a husband and wife team that patented it.
this one got an ugly laugh out of me, thank you.
I pitched this exact idea to my fiancé a few days ago (and have no clue why it came up). she didn't think it was a good idea, but now I can tell her that it was good enough to patent.
Don't knock the Vomitron until you've tried at least one birth in it
Helps with pregnancy nausea AND child birth! Just flip the seat direction and you are ready to expectorate whatever you want out!
Which is good news for her, too, since in this case you can't just build it yourself
She and I don't want to make kids, so it isn't immediately applicable anyway. That being said, I am an experimental nuclear and particle physics PhD student, so I am at least 85% sure that I could convince my boss that we need a medium size centrifuge in the lab and make some... adjustments... upon completion.
If you really don't want to have kids, sure! This sounds like a good plan
We (maybe) want kids, she just doesn't want to ever be pregnant, so adoption is our route if anything.
This would be the worst of both worlds: A pregnancy that we don't even get one of the little shits from! She'll have to deal though, science demands that we try it at least once.
I mean, what about easier poops?
Does this work for constipation?
Not with a net, you'd need something sturdy and not full of holes to catch the turds
And you better hope to God that the machine doesn't slow down in such a way that the shit falls back onto you.
Yes... A finer net perhaps... 🤔
Brown mist, nope.jpg
...and why aren't we funding this? Effective AND fun!
Bad and naughty babies get delivered in the pregnancy spinner
I'm guessing this was before anyone realized that shaking babies is a bad thing?
shaking is not the same as spinning.
I see a you know how to make Martinis
What about a few Gs on an unformed skull?
skulls are really flexible when that young. forceps are used and deform skulls. lots of things do at that point, even “normal” birth. they usually bounce back into pretty good shape.
Mommy? How was I born?
With about 250 RPMs, Honey.
Zoidberg, what are you doing in here?
Zoidberg: I live here.
Well thank goodness.. there's a net
I want to see a test run with a pillow case and a watermelon
Messy
this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2024
221 points (100.0% liked)
196
15695 readers
1 users here now
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS