this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2024
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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (5 children)

Back on my bullshit, except I broke the character limit again madeline-sadeline oh well, the reply to this will have its second half!

This Interlude doesn't have much transbian antics, so if you're just reading for that feel free to skip this one.

Unjust Depths Interlude II posting, pt1II.1 Revelations:

Ahwalia was a carnist reactionary, and Kansal was/is an IMMORTAL!! Between that and hearing about how Jayasankar slaughtered Solistice's Imperial governor makes me reflect: Unjust Depths is "MORE πŸ‘ FEMALE πŸ‘ WAR πŸ‘ CRIMINALS πŸ‘" but unironically. Sheesh =)

In other news this Interlude features a lot of internal politicking which is deeply fascinating to my still-green liberal brain.

I wonder if it is sorta bad that I agree with Jayasankar kinda? I mean, I guess the text wants us to agree with her... I don't think there's nothing in compromising between parties with similar visions sometimes, but clearly Kansal was a bit too lenient with that silly utopian socialism guy. If you can trust that the dictatorship is of the proletariat and benefits them(us), then what's even the need for a "marketplace of ideas"? It could be considered pompous to basically take a stance of "we have arrived at the best system for everyone", and I think some people will always chafe at being dictated, but... Jayansakar is right, right?? I guess her seemingly independent movement above any dictatorship of the proles is what bugs me slightly? And yet, her plays benefit the people.

I cannot fault the results; the based Jayansakar tells off the Bosporan anarchists about their Khaybar campaign, no the commies will NOT participate in settler colonialism! Again, when all of the anarchists in your setting are cringe buttmad racist no-bedtime anarkiddies.

Also I sense that there is a lot of gay flirting in the Union's diplomatic affairs, going by both Ulyana and Bhavani Jayansakar's demeanours. Lol. "Aggressive" and "receptive" is definitely a choice set of terms, madame Veka... do you I guess. It must be my rotted brain that makes this type of shit feel weird, I'm certain of it. However the premier calling her a "raunchy bird" had me rollin'.

II.2:

Seeing an "outsider" perspective on the Union, where the POV lady has sort of cultural differences with it, is incredibly fascinating, very cool. That Maya thinks Union people don't appreciate the luxury of meal options enough, like huh, yeah. I think it's also the first time we see any sort of minority-demographic perspective in UD? given that trans people don't seem to be a minority in the Union, nor do POC. Getting an "outsider" perspective on the Union is super cool. I find Maya charming, "No, ma'am, thank you for your service" is great. Her meetcute with Maya is fun!

I did end up wondering, though: is it kinda bad and smelly that Parvati and Jayansakar are basically using Maya for propaganda ends? It's in service of a good cause because y'know, Ahwalian thought is cringe, clearly this was all the right move, but... Idk? It feels weird that she's only getting her due because it suits the current rulership's political ends, I guess that's just the way things be...

"Fair currents" is an awesome greeting, very cute! And frankly 07 Deshnov deserves this physical abuse from Hanko, uncritical support, yes I am still fuming about that one flashback chapter. Between that little bullshit stunt and addressing Hanko as "Katarran", my sympathy has run out and Deshnov is now in Racist Transphobic Grampa Jail, by my estimate. It's whatever that he hates the Ashura, but this whole arrest thing might not have gone down so badly if he weren't such a clown. Enjoy deep sea labour re-education, gramps, that you are a stank-ass misogynist does not shock me.

His buddy Yerdlov is such a silly hypocrite too, like he goes on and on about Democracy and Process being their own ideology, and then his inquiry into the arrest of Deshnov requires formal debate because it's totally without precedent and outside of process. "Obstructionism"? You fucking CLOWN, guy who says he is a process fetishist then gets mad when Jayansakarists do a process about his inquiry.

Getting inside looks at the gears and levers of the Union is awesome though, look at all the Thoughts in my funny brain! I missed Semi-Automated Luxury Transbian Underwater Communism, truly.

II.3: Oh this one has a CW for queerphobia & transphobia, a bit :> as well as a mention of suicide, but of a fascist.

Whenever I'm in the weeds of these Interludes I tend to think they're a pacing bump, sometimes they slow my reading to a crawl. This one is shorter than the first though, and a nice check-in with things outside the Brigand, but Idk. Idk! At least this one tells a single continuous narrative through different characters, perspectives and locations. It is within its bounds well paced, much better organised than the unmitigated hot mess of Interlude I.

That was the beauty that Communism held for Maya, when she was going through her readings years ago. The Union was something all of them could join hands to fight for- something that was worth fighting for.

It gave her unnatural birth a shred of meaning.

GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME ussr-cry Depths is pretty good agitprop I think.

The Volksdorks talking about occupying Serrano station makes me curious to see the Union forces in a liberatory position, Murati will be very pleased. Watching the fash walk like idiots into a snare while ignoring multiple command fuckups and poor odds is instructive, holy shit these clowns suck at fighting. Zero discipline, real dipshit move getting pulled out that far; if they'd held formation and commanded their fucking ships, they wouldn't have been ventilated in new and inventive ways from the upper scattering layer. Common fash L!!! Maya is like "All missiles, saturation fire on the Volkische right wing!" and I'm like Sheesh, save some for the social democrats in the fleet :^)

Here's the bit the cw is for:

The Volkische had characterised the Union as a state of ethnic inferiors with a pretend navy composed of lesbians and effeminate men in women's uniforms. Their government that could barely feed them kept them docile wirh handouts and propaganda. The masculine and martial Volkisch state, which was already on its way to defeating the Royal Alliance, should have been able to easily cast aside the communists.

shrug-outta-hecks Classic move, common all-politics-is-sexual-projection-L, how can fash constantly cope with getting their white asses handed to them by 'inferiors' of various types literally everywhere all the time?

It was not a fear of facing Lehner nor history itself that led Bloch to his decision, however.

It was more sudden than that. It was rawer, more emotional.

Chiefly, he was tormented by the idea of surrendering to a band of untermensch homosexuals and being subjected to whatever d*generate torments and humiliations they had in store for him as a prisoner of war. A devoted and loyal fascist, Bloch obsessee with this lurid fantasy by himself for over thirty minutes, supported by everything that made sense to him and the brutal shock of his vast, and total defeat. He would not let the communist lowlives make a fool of him and debase him - he would die with honour.

Fuckin losers, die salty & mad at the bottom of the sea. bridget-pride-stay-mad

*to be continued*

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[–] Yor@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Dysphoria bad, at the intersection of being unfortunately fortunate is annoying and awkward

[–] m532@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

CW transphobiaI just confirmed what I suspected for a while. My stepdad is transphobic. Urgh

[–] Seryph@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Bit of a silly thing for me to worry about rn, but does anyone have any advice on just like, how to start dating, just in general? I've reached a point where I'm more comfortable and happy and I feel like I might finally have the actual emotional bandwidth (and time) to date. But I'm also pretty worried since I literally never have before, the closest thing was being asked out once and having a few crushes at one point in time. And because of that lack of experience I just have no clue where to start really. I guess dating apps? But idk which ones are decent and I'm not sure how comfortable I really am with them besides. I guess they're kind of my only option rn until uni starts up again, though.

Also, while I'm not actually ace, I've realised that the idea of having sex kinda terrifies me with how dysphoric I am, and I have no clue how I'd properly build a relationship without that as an expectation. So any advice on that front from any ace comrades here would also be welcome.

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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

okay i want to look like a girl but i also have always thought i'd be good at being an old man so i guess i'm going to detransition at the age of 58 and become Red Green. even if I don't I have like 30 years to think about that decision

[–] khizuo@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I’m getting back into reading, but now my issue is that I need physical copies to really enjoy reading and they’re so expensive cri even on thriftbooks a lot of the stuff I want is in the $20 range

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[–] DerEwigeAtheist@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I got my estrogen patches today, am supposed to take them 4 times a week, so 42 hours. I found no timer app that could do above 24 hours, or only in daily increments. So I rounded up to 48 hours, that is much easier to time, and only plus 6 hours.

I really didn't expect the planning to be any work. But a patch each 1.75 days was a bit annoying. I really should get a pocket calendar, this would have been much easier if I didn't have to remember it from memory each time.

[–] grym@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

In the laser clinic waiting room, a bunch of anaesthetic cream on my face under cling film that has to sit for 1-2 hours so the laser removal isn't super painful, reading some Dance of Dialectic. Nice day overall, waiting just gives me an excuse to read. Also this place was recommended by trans friends in the area and I'm pretty sure I heard at least one, maybe two other transfems while waiting. Could be mistaken but beautiful women with beautifully deep voices at the laser clinic that's very trans friendly, it's likely !

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

Having to tear myself bodily away from silly turn-based-tactics games to go read Unjust Depths so that I do not become dessicated with lack of gay. Surely Homa must be the saddest and dorkiest lesbian, surely.

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

Girl who fills your DMs with german punk music from the 70s????

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

My sleep schedule is so out of whack right now. Nowadays, I’ve somehow retained the ability to just sleep at will, which is something I haven’t had in a decade. My brain is incapable of controlling it, so I just pass out for like four hours at a time at little notice. Not that I’m complaining except I need a rigid sleep schedule for next week when the Summer Basho starts. I watch it live; I don’t even care that Japan is 15 hours ahead.

[–] Xx_Aru_xX@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I feel like I'd be procrastinating HRT if I had it

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Surprisingly, I haven't missed a dose yet in the ~3 weeks since I started. Given I often struggle to get out the door without forgetting at least something so often (and I basically always just bring the same stuff), being consistent isn't exactly my specialty. Guess its something I think about a lot or something.

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[–] RION@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (4 children)

anyone have experience with mtf HRT's effects on keratosis pilaris? I've got some on my arms but a lot on my legs :( people generally report clearer skin w/ estrogen but i'm not sure if that applies to this... some people on reddit-logo say it helps some say no change

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[–] GunslingerSky@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Is there any tucking underwear that isn't like $20 a pair?

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

depersonalization talkSometimes I feel like my body is a mech suit I'm piloting around. Or like I'm a little farther back in my head then I should be (I have no idea if that makes sense). It feels a little like when I had esketamine (not at its peak, more the beginning and end). I was actually concerned for a while the esketamine broke something in my brain.

Is that kinda what trans depersonalization is like? Do any of you feel the same way?

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Oh yeah. That is definitely something that I've experienced in the past. Same goes for both of my partners. It's not a fun feeling. I'm not certain there's really a way to work around it aside from continuing to push forward with what you're doing for yourself. Keep strong and carry on.

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[–] Bat@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Does anyone have brow advice? I've got a gross uni brow and I've got to do something about it, but idk how

[–] vertexarray@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I use eyebrow-contoured wax strips like these guys for a first pass, then a pair of scissor tweezers to clean up errant hairs

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[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (9 children)

Straight up, neo vagina is cool and good πŸ‘

I know there's at least one poster here who didn't want faers done, I appreciate that. But I'm saying for those who want one, it's fucking dope. I love em, I want one of my own! β™‘

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[–] Seryph@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Epilator bought, feeling very excited to see how it compares to shaving. Worst case scenario the one I bought can double as an electric razor too. I'm so ready for smooth leg heaven without needing to do it quite as often.

[–] Seryph@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Messed around with it a little on my hand once it charged up a little. Honestly not as painful as I expected, or well, it is, but it's a nice feeling pain.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago

Probably a lot easier to do on HRT. I just rawdogged it with 0 HRT and inch long hairs, which was excruciating but fun, would recommend to a specific subset of masochists

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